DEALING WITH LANDMINES

"Forgiveness is rediscovering the shining path of peace that... you thought others took away..."

~Dodinsky ~

Our days are full of land-mines- all kinds of things that set us off, twist our moods, and sour our good time. And once we've been tripped, it's hard to bounce back. We reel from the impact, inconsequential though it may ultimately be.
     It's a process to restore ourselves to well-being. It would be nice if we could make the decision to let go and then just let go. But instead, we have to consider what triggered us and why; acknowledge human error and limitation on every front; engage forgiveness and compassion where necessary, and then turn our attention back to the moment and the business at hand.

We live in a world of error and miscalculation so forgiveness is a large part of our daily fare. 

HONORING THE PROCESS

"Time takes time"
~ Ringo Starr ~

We are so anxious to get to the other side of things- especially unpleasant things- that we rush them and force them along instead of allowing for the natural process of time and grace. We impatiently insist on our own timing- on what coordinates with our schedule and all of the things that we have to do. We can't be bothered, and we strongly resist being held back.
     And yet, all of our resistance changes nothing, so we would do far better to accept things as they are, and let the process play out as it will.

I make room in my life for the natural process of time.

 

ABANDONING THE BEST MADE PLANS

"He is making you more flexible, and for this, be thankful."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

It's infrequent at best that things play out as we hope they will. Our plans can take us only so far, and then we have to rely on instinct and guidance. We have to surrender our agendas to the reality of what is. This is a humbling business. It seems easier to be insistent. It seems easier to muscle our way through to the other side. But it's not.
     What's easiest is to admit the truth as it presents itself, admit we might have been wrong about it, and appreciate the beauty of things exactly as they are.

I surrender to the plan beyond my plan and trust the bigger picture.

TRAVELING THE ROAD

"No matter how one may think himself accomplished, when he sets out to learn a new language, science, or the bicycle, he has entered a new realm as truly as if he were a child newly born into the world."

~ Frances Willard ~

 

We learn as we go- that's just the way things happen. Try as we might to be fully prepared and well-educated in advance, it is only experience that gives us the tools and strategies that we need the most.    

     We have to show up for new adventures, as prepared as we can be, but open to whatever may come. The adventure itself will guide us, if we let it, and continue to instruct us and lead us as we make our way.

The journey of life stretches before me like a road in the distance. I have to keep on driving in order to see what comes next.

THE NEED FOR DISCUSSION

"Communication- the human connection - is the key to personal and career success."

~ Paul J. Meyer ~

Getting a human being on the phone these days is an extreme challenge, and often, an impossibility. I love my email and text communication as well as the next guy, but there are times and situations when we need to have an actual conversation. Certain intricacies, delicacies, and details require verbal communication, and without it we are handicapped. In such cases, we need the back and forth, the discussion option- two human beings working together to work something out.
     I am not a huge fan of talking on the phone, but there are times when it is necessary, helpful, and good.

In spite of texts and emails and instant communication, I appreciate the need for occasional phone conversations.

MANIPULATIVE INQUIRY

"Once you start asking questions, innocence is gone."

~ Mary Astor ~

Sometimes we ask a question and pretend to be innocent about it, but we actually have an agenda. We want our question to lead somewhere, to develop into something in particular, to get the person we're asking to realize something, or behave a certain way.
     Let's be honest about this and not fool ourselves into thinking that we're less manipulative than we are.

I ask questions free from motive or agenda, and simply because I want to know.

PROCEEDING WITH CARE

"To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work."

~ Mary Oliver ~

 

Making assumptions, being too quick to act, and not paying attention are three behaviors that can, and will, get us in trouble. We make errors this way that end up taking us more time in the long run. It's a kind of carelessness really. So many of our little daily dramas and frustrations could be avoided or ameliorated if we would just slow down and take our time from the get-go.

 

I take care as I go about doing things, and this saves me a world of angst down the road.

NO FEAR

"The whole secret of existence is to have no fear."

~ Swami Vivekananda ~

Fear is disabling. It cowers and caves us, and makes us a shell of ourselves. Let's make the decision to trust the process and fear not.

I face my fear with courage and faith.

ALL THAT WE'VE SURVIVED

"Fear elevates pain beyond reasonable limits into mental agitation."

~ Rodney Smith ~

Sometimes it's harder than others to let go of the things that happen to us in the course of daily life. It's all that stuff we can't control. How will it play out, and what if it just doesn't? What if we are made to suffer, or made fun of, or what if we can't handle whatever comes? What if everything collapses?
     These are the subterranean questions that run through us when we get stuck in fear. We forget what we have already survived, and our resilience and our faith. Let's reclaim it, and carry on.

I trust in my experience and remember that things have a way of working out.

    

STEP UP

"The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are: hard work, stick-to-itiveness, and common sense."

~ Thomas Edison ~

Stop doing something that is not serving you, start doing something that serves you better, and sustain the new behavior until it becomes automatic and involuntary. This is how we contribute toward our own evolution.

I change my habits to improve my life.

SHIFTING LIGHT

"Autumn's the mellow time."

~ William Allingham ~

I love observing the changing, shifting, seasonal light. It soothes my spirit and reminds me of the beauty of changing leaves and fall afternoons soon to come.

September sunshine is good for my soul.

THE LESSONS OF PAIN

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."

~ Khalil Gibran ~

Pain is distracting and debilitating. It interferes with pleasure, function, and ease. And I think that the more we resist it, the sharper and more unbearable it becomes. If we can welcome it somehow instead, and ask what it has to teach us, then perhaps that might soften it and sweeten it and allow it to slowly dissolve.

I stop fighting my pain and let it teach me instead.

THE SOLUTION WHEN THERE IS NO OTHER

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom."

~Charles Dickens ~

In most situations, and with even more people that I can begin to realize, the best thing I can do is be loving. I cannot fix, mend, convince, or force. Love is the balm, the sweetness, and the only answer. Nothing else even comes close.

In the most challenging life circumstances, the only answer is love.

FOLLOW-THROUGH

"Vision without action is a daydream." 

~ Japanese Proverb ~

 

I love seeing what I can manifest. Anything is possible in life if only I set the target and proceed in an orderly direction to meet it, and don't stop until I get there. It's the follow-through that separates the dreamers from the dream.

 

I pursue my goals with dogged persistence and steady resolve.

SOWING AND REAPING

"To forget how to dig the earth and to tend the soil is to forget ourselves."

~ M Gandhi ~

The more seeds we plant, the more things will grow in our lives. And some plants won't make it past the sprout phase, but others become sturdy and solid and firmly established. How colorful and varied we want the gardens of our lives to be is up to us. We have simply to till and sow and attend with care as new life breaks the surface and drives upwards towards the sun.

In my life situation, I plant what I want to grow.

VERBOSITY

"Brevity is the soul of wit."

~ William Shakespeare ~

I think we have a tendency to over-explain ourselves- as if we like the attention and the sound of our own voice. And sometimes, in a good story, a little extra filling makes for a juicy tale. But sometimes- more often perhaps- crisp clarity is better, and less is actually more.

I am clear and succinct and speak directly to the point.

ONWARD AND UPWARD

"Do not let your shadow walk you. You are not a slave of the past."

~ Dodinsky ~

 

One lesson at a time, one day at a time, and one love to hold it all together. These are the tenets of my forward progress through life.

 

I proceed forward orderly, one step at a time.

ANGER

"At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled."

~ Marshall B. Rosenberg ~

 

I rarely feel anger, but when I do, it's usually one of two things: I have been blatantly disrespected, or I have unresolved emotional buildup lingering beneath the surface of my cool façade. My ire comes as an indicator light: pay attention, something is amiss.

     And just because I feel anger rising doesn't mean I have to act on it, but it's not helpful to suppress it either. Like all things, it must be acknowledged, considered, and processed in time.

 

I let my anger guide me rather than control me. It is a warning sign and not necessarily a green light.

FEAR AND HOPE

"Hope is a roving gypsy."

~ Dora Read Goodale ~

 

My life is full of wonderful things- exciting opportunities, new adventures, information, education and developing passions. But it also has its share of challenge and emotional weight. And sometimes, it's hard to keep my fear at bay, in spite of my hope. But I keep on anyway, and let things unfold as they will.

 

A whole life is full of tribulation as well as inspiration, and trouble as well as delight.

BLESSED AND OPPRESSED

"Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul."
~ Henry Ward Beecher ~

When life bears down heavily on us, it's easy to feel a bit oppressed. Nonetheless, all the blessings of our life remain, and we have only to notice them, acknowledge them, and appreciate them. And if we do this, like a train that is ramping up to full speed, we build momentum for gratitude, and our burden is lightened by the ever-present gifts of grace.

 

I acknowledge and appreciate my immeasurable blessings.

GIVING OURSELVES A BREAK

"Stress is the trash of modern life- we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life."

~Terri Guillemets ~

 

It's ok to give ourselves a break when we need one; to ride ourselves a little less hard, relieve ourselves of condemnation and criticism for a spell, and watch movies all day if we need to for our mental health.

     This is not an endurance contest where whoever puts the most hardship on themselves wins the prize. It's a journey and an adventure and we can float along every once in a while. It's not always about the paddling and the pushing and the distance traveled from point A to point B.

 

I allow for rest and rejuvenation when I need it. My life is about more than just survival.

BUMPY ROADS

"But ne'er the rose without the thorn."

~ Robert Henrick ~

We can use absolutely everything that we experience as an opportunity for growth and personal evolution. And perhaps, the more difficult the lesson, the greater our opportunity. We learn the depth of our strength and the power of our resilience; how sturdy or flimsy is our faith, and how universal is our suffering. We learn patience and courage and how to survive in spite of our fears.
    

I believe in blessings and goodness, no matter what I experience.