Monday, December 5, 2011


     The routine of days carries us onward like leaves floating down a creek-flow. We end up down-river and wonder how we got there so soon. I worry sometimes about running out of time. I want to live consciously, and with care, savoring every moment, but there is so much I want to do. Between my work and my wants I can end up over-full of life. There's such a vast path of possibility.
     It's a real challenge to learn how to determine what matters most and then to properly prioritize my hours. And to focus on the task at hand without feeling frazzled about the tasks awaiting; and making time for relaxation and laughter and good eating and exercise and intellectual stimulation and walks in the outdoors.
     The limits of time make me choose my priorities everyday, and I must properly balance between choosing to do for others, and choosing to do for myself. I need to be supportive and loving, but I cannot allow myself to be sucked dry. In giving of myself, I need to recognize what is enough, and what is too much. I'm good at "too much." It's always been my forte. I am an over-achiever from way back. I'm not so good at "just enough." I can get easily depleted if I am not careful.
     Understanding that I have to prioritize taking good care of myself has been a long time coming, but I am starting to appreciate why. If I am a disaster, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or physically, then I am spilling disastrous energy into the world. But if I am properly fed and rested and steady in the knowledge that I can trust myself to care for myself, then I am spreading steady and trustworthy energy. And that's what I prefer to do.
     An important part of my self-care is not rushing, and not worrying, and believing absolutely that there is time. There is time for others and time for myself, and time for work, and time for play; for dreams and achievement and lounging and sleep, for books and movies and conversation and the news; for changing moods and singing for joy, for hugs and travel and tears and faith. There is time enough for everything that matters.

I relax about having enough time for the things I want to do and the things I need to do, and for doing nothing. I enjoy the flow of days and seasons.