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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

LOVE

"Love is not consolation. It is light."
~Friedrich Nietzsche~

Self-sacrifice and martyrdom are not love; they are sickness and dysfunction. Love allows for the care of everyone involved. It does not claim victims or seek subservience. It wants everybody upright and honest and in their best light. Love is not shadowy or questionable. It is straight-forward and crystal clear, unapologetic, authentic, and full of the right stuff.
 
I stop pretending that self-sacrificing is love.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

PEOPLE PLEASING

"Owning your burdens is half the battle."
~Scrubs~

I expect people to be willing to do as much for me as I am willing to do, even if unreasonably, for them. I expect them to make extreme efforts and demonstrate loyalty that is above and beyond. And it always surprises me when this is not the case.
     The error, as always, is in me. I am overly sensitive and easily disappointed, and this comes as the result of my trying to please everyone all of the time instead of living with appropriate boundaries and from my own personal truth.
 
I don't blame others for living reasonably. I let them inspire me to do the same.

Monday, August 18, 2014

SAD AND HAPPY

"Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by." ~Carl Sandburg~

Recklessness makes me sad. So does carelessness, callousness and malice; unfulfilled potential, misunderstanding, and righteousness of the self.

Consideration makes me happy. So does forgiveness, peaceful quiet, and a job well done; honest communication, affirmation, good humor, and love.

And I can pick from either list any time I want to. I can pick what I focus on in others, and I can pick which space I choose to operate from inside of myself.

I behave well and experience happiness.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

THE STATE OF OUR SELVES

"I am what is mine."
~Norman Brown~

What is the condition of our houses? Our cars? Our animals? Our clothes? The way that we care for the things that belong to us reflects, on some level, the state of our being.
     Are we well-weathered, or shabby? Cluttered? Messy? Neat as a pin? Are our animals overweight, underweight, reticent, friendly? If we have dogs, do they lack boundaries and pester everyone all the time, or are they well-behaved and well-kept?
     Let's bring awareness to our negligence or pro-activity. Let's remember that everything is interdependent, and how we are with things and animals is a pretty good indication of how we are with ourselves. And let's be willing to raise the bar when necessary, and make changes, where changes are called for.

I care for the world in which I live, and respectfully honor whatever I own.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

THE LIMITS OF ARROGANCE

"It is always the secure who are humble."
~G.K. Chesterton~
 
Arrogance is a distasteful state of being. It is smug and holier-than-thou. Arrogance looks down and judges; feels entitled. Arrogance is a smokescreen and a sham, often absolutely wrong in spite of its righteousness, and as tippy as a house of cards.
     Let's be gracious instead of arrogant; open minded and allowing instead of judgmental and closed. Let's be kind and heartfelt. Let's make an effort to extend love to others, and to share a little less of our scorn.

Life is too short to be arrogant. There's not one among us who really knows-it-all.   

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

EBB AND FLOW

"The tides are in our veins."
~ Robinson Jeffers~

All of life reflects the tides- rising and falling, filling and emptying, ebbing and flowing. Our ships come in and they go out. Energy shifts. Popularity waxes and wanes. And whether the tide is rising or falling, it carries us with it. We are up and down, in and out, like the waves on a beach.
     The thing to learn though, and the thing to be able to recognize, is the moment when the tide shifts; when it's no longer coming in, but starting to flow out instead. At this moment, we need to pay attention and to keep an eye out, because as it's emptying in one place, it's always starting to fill up somewhere else.

I pay attention to the rising and falling tides of my life.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

PROJECTION AND LOSS

"The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes."
~Thomas Hardy~
 
Some of the ideas that float across our consciousness have promise. They sparkle almost, with possibility and excitement, and we hook onto them with our thinking and create fantasies around their playing out. We travel a distance down the road with them, imagining all of the implications of their being a reality, and we become emotionally invested.
     So when our creative vision doesn't unfold exactly as we've imagined, we experience a real sense of loss. And that loss, even if briefly, has to be grieved. We must learn to honor the death of our old hopes just as we honor the birth of our new ones- all in their turn, and as they cycle round and round.

I have compassion and sympathy for all of the hopeful imaginings that never quite play out.