INSIDE JOB

     My experience of the day is a direct reflection of my internal state. If I feel good, everything externally seems beautiful and inspired. I have patience and humor and am able to take things in stride, even difficult things. And the opposite is true as well. If I am over-indulged; if I am harried with the tyranny of the urgent, and overwhelmed with loose ends, then the world is a place of stress and hardship, and does not seem particularly friendly. I see people trying to take advantage of me, and cruelty, and ugliness. I am not amused by anything. My life, and everything to do with it, feels serious and heavy, almost unbearable.
     I far prefer the lighter approach, but it's not always the one I choose. Still, I have learned to take note of my darkening mood, and to recognize that it has nothing to do with anything going on outside of me. If I am miserable, I need to look inwardly. I need to sit quietly and get honest. I need to get right with myself and square up whatever part of me has shifted askew. And if I do that sooner rather than later, my vision is restored and I can see clearly that life has never changed, that the change has all happened inside of me.
     If I am disturbed and disgruntled, I have a definite role in the drama and I need to identify my part so that I can stop playing it out. Over some things I have no control. But when it comes to my experience of life, I have choices and the power to change my perspective at anytime. I can choose gratitude and patience and forgiveness and love. I can ease up all over. I can ease up on myself, on others, and on everything that happens. And if I do, I will feel instantaneous relief.

I don't blame others or the world for my problems. I take ownership of the way I am experiencing my life.