SMALL PLEASURES

     The real joy in life is not necessarily in the big achievements, but in the small pleasures: ice cream, honeysuckle, the feeling of energy in the body, the smell of woodsmoke; the rise and fall of music that moves us, laughter, tears. We don't have to be rich, or way up on the corporate ladder. We don't have to have a great relationship with our parents or with anyone in particular, and we don't have to be perfect physically. We don't even have to be near-perfect.
     All we have to do is be alive to experience the gifts of living, and then when death takes us, I imagine other gifts will follow. But for now, for today, I take my joy in the hum of car wheels on the road beneath me, and the gentle breezes of summer; in hot showers and birds around the feeder; in all that I can see and whatever I feel, in the tap of computer keys and our German Shephard chewing on his bone. Happiness is simple, and always available. It's not in future plans or past achievements. It's right here and right now. It's being fully in the moment. All we have to do is pay attention, and it is ours.

I take joy in small pleasures!

DENIAL

     It's easy to deceive ourselves about our motives, our health, our needs, and our limitations. We are powerful justifiers. We convince ourselves of whatever is most convenient at the moment and further convince ourselves that we are being honest- even when we are not, completely.
     And yet, if we are willing to be truly honest about where we are in life, it's a gift of freedom. From there, we can get to where we want to be by making changes in the right direction- towards better living and better health. But as long as we tell ourselves that we are fine and we are good and we are happy; as long as we step around and over our real reality with excuses and justifications and denial, we give up our options. Denial imprisons us as surely as bars on the door and iron locks.

I am willing to be honest about the realities of my life, and I summon the courage to make appropriate changes where they are called for.

BUILDING FROM THE GROUND UP

     There's a difference between flurried activity and actual productivity. We can easily create busy-ness and spend money to create a facade of success. But real success comes from hard, steady work and daily commitment  It's a growing and a building, not a dust-storm.

I catch myself being frantic and overwrought and telling myself that I am being productive. I stop everything, regroup, and start again with steady, grounded intention. I remember that real productivity is rooted in calm and clarity, not in the fickle wind of the moment.

TOO MUCH SITTING

     Sitting in a car for long periods of time is hard on the body. Everything is compressed, and nothing circulates. Our muscles and bones and insides settle and congeal. I ache when I sit too much. My body longs to move. Road trips are exciting in one way, to be sure, but utterly exhausting in another. Long hours of sitting and eating unpredictably is bad for the blood and bad for the spirit.
     It makes me appreciate being at home, and being at work, and being able to stand up and stretch. I don't appreciate that enough. It's a blessing and a daily gift.

I appreciate my ability to move and the feeling I get from doing so.

BEST I CAN

     When I am motivated by consideration and compassion, the things I do feel good through and through. If, on the other hand, I am motivated by a fear of disappointing someone, or I'm trying anxiously to be pleasing, then I feel stressed out and insecure. Doing for others the right way is a joy. But worrying fretfully about what they think is an unnecessary burden.
     I want to work on being ok with simply doing the best I can in each and every situation. I am tired of holding myself and everyone else to impossible standards.

I let go of fretting over what other people think. I live from the heart and do the best I can. That's all I can do.

THE WAY THE WIND BLOWS

     Life goes along easier for us if we can accept the way the wind blows and not get too bent out of shape if our plans are altered and the unpredictable occurs. For every challenge that we face, we have lessons to learn- lessons of adaptability, patience, new and improved coping skills, the things that trigger us, and what we actually require, and actually do not. I believe we are thrown off course for our own good somehow, but it's discombobulating nonetheless.
     If we pay attention, ours is a continuing process of getting to know ourselves. And this is useful information to have, especially if we want to grow up.

I am grateful for whatever happens and trust the way my path unfolds. I am willing to make the best of things.

MILLIE

     My mother-in-law died last Thursday. She was sick and suffering in varying degrees for a number of years, but severely so for the last six weeks- needing bedside care and daughter's advocacy at hospital facilities.
     Towards the end, we knew that she would die, and still the news landed, when it came, like a fall hard to the ground. It felt sudden and shocking and final- the vitality of her no more- her special Millie Herrman way of seeing things. She was the only one on earth who said things exactly the way she said things, and who had her boldness and sense of humor, which we couldn't help but appreciate... right to the end.
     When I pause long enough to consider it, there is a gaping hole where she belongs- my husband's mother, her husband's wife- a sister- a friend. In her honor, let's remember to enjoy the people around us today and particularly the ones we love. We are all here so temporarily really, and our lives are but a flash.

I grieve the loss of those whose company was once familiar and appreciate the people who populate my life today.