THE REAL DEAL

"Character is higher than intellect."

~ RW Emerson ~

I would rather have someone be real with me than be polite. 

What pleases me most is what's genuine and true.

I value sincerity. 

INCESSANT THINKING

"I have too much brain for my head; it cannot play at ease in its case."

~ Joseph Joubert ~

Sometimes my mind will not hush. 

It pursues me like a whiny child who wants attention. 

"What about this?" it asks me. 

"What about that?" 

It exhausts me with its questions, especially when I don't know!

Perhaps, like a child, what it

needs

is

just a moment or two 

of undivided attention and validation

and a bit of love,

and then, perhaps, 

it will go on its way and play happily. 

I have compassion for my busy mind. 

     

WHAT WE EXPERIENCE

"You never know till you try to reach them how accessible people are; but you must approach each individual by the right door."

~ Henry Ward Beecher ~

It's rare to experience people as they really are. We tend to see them as we are, through the veil of our history, our prejudice, our longings, and our mood of the moment. It's worth keeping this truth in mind as we slap our concrete judgments on others as if a new day or insight might not change the way we feel. 

I give people more than one opportunity to show me who they are.

SEEING CLEARLY

"In the presence of eternity, the mountains are as transient as the clouds."

~ Robert Green Ingersoll ~

Sometimes I see clearly, and in those moments, time slows down. 

Textures are rich and life feels sacred and sensuous.

My mind takes a back seat to my senses.

It's delicious

And always available.

I practice elegant noticing.

THE POWER OF WORDS

"You are master of what you say until after you utter it, once you deliver it, you are its captive."

~ Ali Ibn Abi Talib ~

Many years ago, in his kitchen in Atlantic Highlands, NJ, my father was visibly distressed with me.

"You seem so angry, Dad!" I said. His face was red and twisted.

"Well of course I'm angry," he bellowed. "You are a disappointment as a daughter!"

"You don't mean that." I said, and in that moment, I felt calm and sure.

The next day, however, driving home to Virginia, I cried and cried.

 And my father didn't speak to me for 4 years after that, so I guess on some level at least,
he did mean it.
And I have had to live with that. 

Words have power, and their power carries across time. 

Let's be precise when we use them, and thoughtful, and kind. 

I speak with precision and care. 

THE POWER OF STORIES

"Some stories are true that never happened."

~ Elie Weisel ~

When I found out today that the stone caps for the brick pillars we are having made for the entrance to our 170 year old Virginia Farmhouse are from China, it felt inappropriate to me, and I wasn't sure I could live with it. Not that I have anything against China, or Chinese stone per se, only that it felt like local stone would be more fitting somehow.
     And then, when I shared my concern with a guy at the Stone Quarry, a bright-eyed, likable fellow, he asked if he could maybe re-frame the situation for me and I said sure.
     "The fact that these stones from the other side of the world are so close in color and texture to the ones in our own backyard amazes me," he said, smiling. "They are both natural rock, and both 'of the earth,' so in that way they actually are the same, and it's possible that they are even connected deep below the surface, like some great shelf. I don't know if that makes you feel any better about it, or not, but-"
     And it did actually. It made me feel a lot better. The name of our farm will be etched in Pennsylvania blue-stone, and the pillars on which they live topped with an equally rich and complimentary stone from the other side of Mother Earth.

When I don't like the narrative I'm living with, I have the power to re-frame the situation in my mind.

FEELING BADASS

"I will release all the confined forces of my soul and apply them directly to that which I may be."

~ Muriel Strode ~

It's fun to feel a little badass every so often- to know that we will not be manipulated, or baited. Others know when we are feeling it and give us a bit of distance and respect.
     There's time for generous compassion and loving goodness and thinking of others and doing for others, but let's not forget, there is also a time to say, "No!" and to firmly stand our ground.

I set and protect personal boundaries.