Thursday, October 6, 2011


     Money remains one of my spiritual stumbling blocks. I live with a certain amount of financial fear and it weighs me down. The subject of money makes me tense. I feel as if I live teetering on the edge of economic destitution, and that my stability is precarious at best, which is not really true, but it's where my catastrophic thinking takes me. Every time it seems as if I can get ahead, some unanticipated expense comes along and washes me back.
     This gives money tremendous power in my life. It becomes a kind of God, to be awed and feared both. I allow my financial state to affect my mood and my ability to enjoy the day. And yet, I have lived long enough to know that I can survive economically in this world by a certain amount of creativity and hard work. It's not a fancy life, but it's solid and satisfying.
     I'm tired of giving money the power I give it. I want to disempower it. It want to let it be what it is- a form of currency, a method of exchange- and no more and no less. My bank account does not determine my worth. I know in my heart what true riches are, but I brush them aside and easily discount them in the face of bills to pay. I let the bills rule me and scold me and make me feel small.
     Going forth, I want to let money be money and keep my perspective. I am willing to bring attention to my attitude and work on it. I'm going to catch myself losing peace over life's expenses, and keep my sense of humor. I'm going to let the coffer fill and empty as it does, and watch it with a certain amount of curiosity instead of fear. From privilege to bankruptcy, I have always had a roof over my head and food to eat. There is enough. I can be happy with more... or less.

Money does not have the power I give it. My happiness is not determined by my bank account. Today, and every day, I make sure to enjoy the real riches of my life.