TIME

     I have turned time into an enemy. I am consumed by the feeling that there is not enough of it- not enough for what I have to do and what I want to do and the achievement of all of my dreams; not enough time with my husband and time with my children; not enough time alone; not enough time to relax, to sleep, to be with friends, to shop, to create, to do nothing. There is not enough unstructured time; not enough time for paperwork and bills, for walks with the dog and soaks in the tub.
     I have created a fantasy of lack. I want abundance in my life and actively demonstrate scarcity. Me of little faith. Whatever is is enough. I have time for everything if I will only stop dictating the terms of my life that are not mine to dictate. Let me do what is before me with good nature and care. Let me stop when I am tired or hungry or out of steam. I needn't insist on squishing my life into time pressurized compartments. I am strangling my hours with demands and wonder why I feel suffocated.

I stop trying to squish things into certain shapes to fit my tight schedule.