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Saturday, September 17, 2011

THE PRESSURE OF TIME OFF

     Sometimes I take time off entirely, from work, and from home obligations and responsibilities also. It's my time to fill as I please. I look forward to it. I have plans in advance, but I'm willing to do something completely different if the mood strikes. But rather than spacious relaxation, I always seem to pack my free time with too many activities and end up feeling pressure going from one thing to the next, and feeling panicky as time runs out. And so, instead of being pleasing, my pursuit of pleasure ends up being stressful. I think we do the same thing with weekends and vacations and anything that is supposed to be "fun." We over-plan and over-obligate and over-load, and end up exhausted instead of refreshed.
     This weekend, and going forth, I will remember the sense of tension I feel when I over-fill my time off, and do less, or do nothing- sit and watch people and linger and really relax and give myself the time to be still and free from time pressure and commitment. If I don't relax, I kind of defeat the purpose. I end up more jazzed than usual, and stressed in my head, and tight in my body, instead of rejuvenated and restored, which I need, and which would unquestionably serve me better.

I bring awareness to the way I spend my free time each day and keep it free, of stress and pressure and mental strain. I let my recovery time from work recover me.