Thursday, February 24, 2011


      It is so much easier to begin a process than it is to complete it. In high school I ran the 440 which was one lap around the track. Every time, without fail, I hit a wall three quarters of the way around. All the energy and forward motion got whumped out of me and my legs became full of lead. Making it from that point to the finish line was arduous and painful.
     Life is like that, except that in life, when I hit the wall, I often stop running and decide to change direction. I quit because I get the wind knocked out of me, but the finish line may be just around the next turn, and all I really need to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other to enjoy success. How many of my projects and great plans are half-finished? Or just begun and abruptly abandoned?
     If I can stay with something to the finish, give it it's due and not walk out in frustration after pouring my heart and soul into it for months on end, I am rewarded with a sense of completion and accomplishment. I am able to enjoy the fruits of my labor. It is instinctive in me to want to run from difficulties as soon as they arise, to bail out when the going gets tough, and then make excuses for myself to assuage my sense of self-betrayal. How can I live free of the fear of abandonment when I so readily abandon myself?
     It is my doubts and fears that drive me back. I must have faith in the slow process of gestation and birth, of healing, and evolution.

Today I am willing to follow through on some project that matters to me; to take the next step and trust the ongoing process.