Thursday, June 9, 2011


     Through cancerous growth of negative thinking and lack of communication, we can completely lose track of people in our lives, even those we once held dear. It's easy to impose on others our own interpretations about what motivates them, and what they mean by a certain look or perceived attitude. But just because we think it and interpret it doesn't make it correct. These walls of misunderstanding can become fortress like and impenetrable, imposing, and guarded by silence.
     Sometimes in restaurants I see couples who are together but do not seem to see each other. They do not speak except in monosyllables. Often one or both of them is distracted by a cell phone, and more involved with the small electronic device in front of them than their living breathing partner, the person they married, presumably because of common interests and great love between them. But no love is visble here, only barriers to love.
     What opens people to people, no matter how strong the walls between them, is conversational sharing and the exposure of individual vulnerability. This is what's going on inside of me. Here's what I'm feeling and thinking. Here's what I'm afraid of and what I long for and all of my insecurities. Such honesty allows the other to see us anew and re-awakens love and compassion... but it takes two who are willing. Open communication is not safe or possible with everyone, but where it is safe and possible, it is absolutely necessary.
     I have spent my share of time in angry awkward silences of misunderstanding and hostility and I have no further interest in them.It is too simple and too cleansing to speak up. Let's talk about it today, whatever "it" is. Let's have the courage to be vulnerable. Let's connect with others and laugh together over misperceptions. Life is too short for tense meals and impenetrable walls.

I commit to communication today. I am willing to listen with compassion and to share from my heart.