2021

"The old year cracks under the burdensome weight of twelve heavy months, and the next year emerges fresh and anew from its shell."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

And so it begins.

What will we make of it?

In some ways I am powerless, and in other ways, my life is entirely up to me.

NEW YEAR'S EVE

"I have a fine lot of hopes here in my basket."

~ Nathanial Hawthorne ~

It's time to shake things up a bit!

Try new arrangements.

Try new mindsets.

Re-set tired programs.

Refresh what's raggedy.

Rejuvenate what's sagging.

Be alive again,

And bright!

Because

We are. 

I re-new myself today, and again tomorrow, and again the day after that. 

WONDERING

"The most decisive actions of our life... are most often unconsidered."

~ Andre Gide ~

I am afraid

And not afraid

Alone 

And not alone

Fired up

And exhausted to the core.

I am free

And bound

Water

And sound.

At the end-

The beginning-

And

Rooted in the ground.

The New Year is coming. What will it bring?

TODAY'S PARTICULAR KNOWING

"It is strange and wonderful what changes may be wrought by a few fleeting months."

~ Elizabeth J. Eames ~

We think we know,

And we live in the reality of that particular knowing.

And then a deeper truth is revealed

And our reality changes,

Again and

Again and

Again.

Life rolls me over.

THE AFTREMATH PRELUDE

"There is an order to all things, a pressure of progression... there is no halt, no turning back. Tomorrow rises in the east.."

~ Hal Borland ~

Here we are

Winding down one year

and

Winding up the next.

In this, 

the pause between holidays,

We find 

the quiet,

languid,

restful,

exhausted,

anticipatory

Hope.

I am here for the duration. 

SWEET SADNESS

"Remember

This December

That love weighs more than gold!"

~ Josephine D.D. Bacon ~

Christmas has come again.

Always the same.

Always different.

Hope and joy and beauty and lights.

Indulgence and expense and family dynamics.

Sweet.

Sad. 

Busy.

Lonely.

Chaotic.

Lively.

Festive.

Still.

I experience the many moods of Christmas.

BEGGING THE QUESTION

"I have grown old from being serious. "

~ Kamand Kojouri ~

Who wants to feel uncomfortable, unsure, or in pain?

Who wants to suffer emotionally?

None of us, 

which is why 

We are always seeking answers, solutions, and

Quick fixes.

And yet, we DO feel uncomfortable, 

we are unsure,

And pain comes.

So that begs the question,

How well do our solutions work?

Not very, seems to me...

Which begs the question,

Who's in charge here?

And the answer

Eludes us...

And on we go.

I surrender to the way that grace plays. 

LESS THAN WE THINK

"Relax a little bit. Give life a chance to flow its own way, unassisted by your mind and effort."

~Mooji ~

Whatever shows up,

We don't have to fix it.

We don't have to fear it.

We don't have to steer it.

It's just what shows up.

The truth is simple.

PRESENCE

"Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be."

~ Eckhart Tolle ~

The sweetness of life comes through when we are fully present,

Engaged in the moment,

With a quiet mind,

And all sensations

Fully awake. 

It's always there, but mostly, we miss it. 

FEELING ANXIOUS

"It came to pass."

(Appears 727 times in the King James Version of the Bible)

Anxiety is newly alive in my physiology,

Beating my heart,

Gulping my throat,

Tensing my muscles.

And much as I'd like it to depart,

It seems to have a will of its own,

So the best I can seem to do these days is to

Let it be there

And stop hating it, fighting it, fearing it, fueling it...

It's just a feeling-

A reeling feeling that comes

And comes

And comes,

And then, 

quietly,

goes...

Until it comes again. 

I take the dips and flips in stride.

THE JOURNEY

"People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day."

~ Winnie the Pooh ~

The journey feels long,

And hard.

But maybe it's not.

Maybe the place we are aiming for

is actually the

Place

We are aiming

From. 

I am open to the possibility that things may not be exactly how they seem. 

THE THINGS WE SHARE

"No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head."

~ Terry Josephson ~

We have disempowering stories that we tell ourselves,

And share with others. 

We enroll them in our sad tale.

It strengthens our case.

We feel empowered to be disempowered,

And it makes life a trudge.

But we're the one initiating the story!

And we can flip the script

Any time

We choose. 

I have the power to inspire or depress my experience. 

It all depends on what I say.

POWER

"Your arm's too short to box with God."

~ James Weldon Johnson ~

Our power lies not in our ability to 

manipulate people and situations in the manifest world, 

but within,

Where truth is,

And God,

And the Light.

Power isn't something that comes TO us.

It's the 

SOURCE

Out of which

All things 

Arise. 

I breathe, and breathe, and breathe again. 

THE PEACE WE SEEK

"I am that."

~ Nisargadatta Marahaj ~

Many things in the universe are out of our control,

Yet we think we can control them anyway-

People, circumstances, flooding rains, the future...

When we STOP trying to control the things we can't control anyway,

We experience relief,

And peace. 

And it's the same with enlightenment.

Beyond the surface noise of our egoic identity,

We are ALREADY enlightened,

But we don't know it.

We think it's something we have to work for,

Meditate to earn,

Achieve by struggle, 

Or grace. 

But enlightened being is WHO WE ARE.

Not knowing it doesn't change the fact.

When we realize this truth that is already true,

Just by seeing it...

We realize that

We ARE the peace we have been seeking.

The search is over.

We have been there all along. 

I am. 

THE PLAY OF GRACE

"All are but parts of one stupendous whole, whose body Nature is, and God the soul."

~ Alexander Pope ~

Some things in life happen as the result of great effort,

And others come easy, like a breeze on a hot day,

But in both situations, 

Grace has its play,

And we are guided and re-directed,

And stopped,

And stalled,

And released,

And rewarded,

And renewed,

Like trees through the seasons, and when they first bloom

in the spring.

We belong to the journey and the journey belongs to us. 

THE SPACE AROUND US

"Everything is restless until it comes home."

~ John Bate ~

Creating a nurturing environment in which to live serves us greatly.

Keeping the space clean and clear of clutter,

Decorated with things that delight us,

Lighting candles,

Having fresh flowers-

These things make us feel wrapped in love,

And we need that,

Perhaps now more than ever.

I surround myself with beauty. 

NOTICINGS

"I'm wholly devoted to while we're here."

~ Erika Harris ~

Our suffering humbles us.

Simple things keep us grounded.

Conversation heals hurt,

And fresh Christmas Trees seem to get prettier and prettier

The closer to Christmas 

they get.

Observing life enriches the daily experience. 

PERMISSION

"I am the sunlight to the soil of my own soul."

~ Muriel Strode ~

I like the idea of scented candles.

To have some delicious fragrance wafting through the breezes of the house

Sounds heavenly.

And whenever I encounter some kind of gourmet candle, I smell it, and, if it smells good,

Take out my wallet and envision the delight.

I have done this countless times,

Only to get home, light it up, and within minutes, blow it out and pack it away,

because it feels too strong, or too sweet, or too something.

This is not to say scented candles aren't wonderful-

They well may be... for others,

Just not for me.

It's ok to be who I am. 

WINDCHIMES

"The line of life is a snarl of loops and ends."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

I heard a song once about windchimes.

In verse one, the singer was celebrating the tinkling,

And by verse three the tinkling was driving her mad.

Life experience is constantly changing. I appreciate where I am. 

SPIRITUAL GIRTH

"For such loss, I would believe, abundant recompense."

~ William Wordsworth ~

The things we survive give us spiritual girth.

On the way to the church for my sister's memorial service-

She killed herself 

and I was to read Lines Written Above Tintern Abby 

for her 

at the podium-

I remember having this inner knowing.

If I could bury my only sister,

Then, 

surely,

I could do anything. 

I am strengthened by hardship. 

CLAMORING STORIES

"'Tis the great art of life to manage well

The restless mind."

~ John Armstrong ~

We build cases against people and hardship for ourselves 

in our minds.

And then we clash in the world with our clamoring stories.

The noise is deafening,

And makes it difficult for

The truth

To be

Seen.

I carefully chaperone the thoughts in my mind. 

RIDDLE

"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment."

~Rumi ~

Who would we be if we didn't know who we are?

Not knowing may be less of a problem than we think.