*

*
*

Thursday, April 8, 2021

ATMOSPHERIC CHANGE

"Peace must be more than the absence of armed conflict. It must be just, creative, and cooperative."
~ Elizabeth Tipton Derieux ~

Making peace-
Coming to terms-
What do we mean by these?
That we stop fighting?
Or perhaps... that we start honoring what we have been opposed to,
And acknowledging it for the good,
For the growth,
For the lessons learned...
Peace is more than just not fighting,
It's a whole atmospheric change.
We become ok-
Truly OK,
With what we once couldn't tolerate,
Or accept,
Or trust.

I let go of opposition and fill with love. 

Wednesday, April 7, 2021

LIFE AT PLAY

"Not to spoil the ending, but it's going to be ok in the end."
~ Saying on a Mug ~

Sometimes we have a thought that occurs to us as a knowing
And it seems like our intuition.
We think, "Ah HA! I'm spot on!"
And it turns out that we're 
Not even close.
And sometimes our intuition does show up as a thought,
And we are meant to follow it,
Or to understand what it wants us to know.
How to tell the difference?
Life is playful. 
That's a knowing too.

Sometimes I know what I think I know, and sometimes I don't, and either way, it's ok.

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

SUBTLE ENERGIES

"You possess the ability to tap a bottomless well of physical and psychic energy..."
~ LV Carnie ~

Whether we honor and acknowledge them or not,
All kinds of subtle energies are at play in our lives...
They propel us,
They hold us back,
They bring confusion and clarity and hopelessness and great joy.
We are life itself
In the company of humanity
And God. 

I am a field of possibility.

Monday, April 5, 2021

CONONDRUM

"Let go, and let God."
~ Popular Saying ~

Truly trusting requires letting go of the reins,
No matter the situation.
And how many of us can do that?

Why is it so hard to let go?
Because we don't fundamentally trust.
And how do we learn to trust?
By letting go...
It's a conundrum like the chicken and the egg.
Which comes first?

I am WILLING to let go and trust.


Sunday, April 4, 2021

THE BIG PICTURE

"If you do not raise your eyes you will think that you are the highest point."
~ Antonio Porchia ~

Sitting on the hillside and looking down at the gardens I created
Puts them in perspective.
They are tiny, de minimis... 
Nothing in the scope of the broader landscape.
And they have kept me awake at night worrying over them.

I am both more, and less, than is immediately apparent. 



Thursday, April 1, 2021

SPRING

"The air is vivid with spring light."
~ Byron Caldwell ~

Spring is about renewal-
Things coming back...
But not the same as before:
NEW buds.
And there is friction in the arrival of this new growth-
A chick squeezing and stretching its little cramped body
To break open the shell and be born-
Bulbs pushing up through dirt,
And death comes too,
Beside the fresh life, and nourishes it-
Dead leaves,
Sprouts that cannot survive in the shadow of their 
Counterparts-
The END of frost and the cold.

As always, it's all mixed up,
And the cycle goes around.
The end is the beginning,
And the beginning is 
The end. 

I'm just here. 

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

SEEMINGLY BACKWARDS

"Surrender to win."
~ Popular Saying ~

We grab for the things we think we want fearfully, aggressively,
As if that's the only way to assure that we get them,
And the irony is, that until we stop grabbing,
The things that we want can't come.

I let go and receive.


Tuesday, March 30, 2021

LOVE AND SEASONS

"Perhaps you cannot make anyone's thankless task less difficult, but you can always make it less thankless."
~ Robert Brault ~

I am grateful for spring flowers,
For warm sun on a cool day,
And for Klondike bars.
I am grateful for the energy of people,
And their hearts.
I am grateful for the things I've learned,
The things I'm learning,
And the lessons to come. 
I am grateful for full moons and fog and rainbows.
Life is magnificent, and blessings abound. 

I notice the gifts of the earth.

Monday, March 29, 2021

NEVER STALE

"However we sail on the ocean of life our course is determined by Nature's trade-winds and Divinity's undertow."
~ James Lendall Basford ~

When we have a fulfilling experience
It seems to come naturally to want to repeat it,
And then,
When we try,
Generally there is a sense of letdown.
Having something be now what it was then is an impossible task.

The dynamic nature of life changes everything all the time.


Sunday, March 28, 2021

PROMPTINGS

"Intuition, my trustworthy friend."
~ Terri Guillemets ~

Our internal prompts are not always clear-
And some of them may be nothing more than a random thought we snag onto...
But it does seem that sometimes, we are being asked to do something...
Called, maybe,
To do something.
But we can't know until we follow through,
And then see what happens.
That is the land of mystery
And grace. 

I am open to the suggestions of the still small voice within. 

Thursday, March 25, 2021

LEAD IN OUR SOULS

"up with joy!"
~ ee cummings ~ 

We become so accustomed to the weight of our lives
That we don't even feel the heaviness after a time
And just go about our business
With lead in our souls...
Until someone, or something, or God
Relieves us, 
And we feel giddy
from the 
Sudden lightness
and
Joy!

I am relieved. 

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

A CURIOSITY

"I celebrate myself. 
And what I assume you shall assume. 
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."
~ Walt Whitman ~

If we didn't know who we are,
Who would we be?
Take away our conditioning,
Our past,
The voices that have influenced and sometimes shaped us,
The hurts, the rewards,
The successes and failures,
Our friends-
What's left?
Is that all we are- a bundle of all that stuff?
Or is there something deeper, immutable, 
Timeless...
Something utterly unaffected one way or another
By the 
list above. 

What I've been through is something, but it's not everything. 


Tuesday, March 23, 2021

THE DREAM

 "Are you really sure that a floor can't also be a ceiling?"
~ M.C. Escher ~

Years ago, I worked as a Personal Trainer Monday through Friday.
I had lots of clients, I knew everyone, and
I felt like Queen of the gym.
It was a magical place, rich in relationships,
And dynamic with love.
And then I came to work on a Saturday
For my first book signing,
And I watched people coming and going
As I sat at my little table-
And I realized that it was 
Just a gym. 

I create the reality I experience. 


Monday, March 22, 2021

PUTTING THE BAG ON THE COUNTER

"If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it."
~ Toni Morrison ~

We have the power to drop our attachments,
Just like putting down a bag on the counter.
We think they own us,
That we are at their mercy,
That they have the power.
But they don't.
We do. 

I am attached to my attachments because I hold on to them. 



Sunday, March 21, 2021

ALL TANGLED UP

"All emotion is involuntary when genuine."
~ Mark Twain ~

 A complied Facebook video shows the responses of children
To the surprise of being given a puppy,
And frequently,
The response is choking sobs.
Tears and happiness are all tangled up together.
Whether glad or sad, when emotion is deep, it touches our hearts
And rattles us like a thunderstorm with lightning and
Blustery wind. 

The gift is to be able to feel at all. 

Thursday, March 18, 2021

OPEN SPACE

"What we're waiting for now is male rain. Big, booming, wait-till-your-father-gets-home cloudbursts that bully up from Mexico and threaten to rip the sky."
~ Barbara Kingsolver ~

Waiting for an answer is open space-
It could be a yes, or it could be a no,
And as long as we're waiting both possibilities remain...
Which creates tension-
What if imaginings... 
Fear...
Excitement...
And then all of that bubbling energy
Stops 
as soon as the answer 
Comes.
It shifts to the new energy
of 
Next step excitement 
or
Acceptance
that it's
Done.

I suffer from attachment to outcomes that may or may not play out.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

THE SHAPE

"I will wear my heart upon my sleeve."
~ William Shakespeare ~

Feelings shape our experience.
When we feel guilty, we are shrunken.
When we feel anxious, we are strangled and voiceless.
When we feel afraid, we are 
Stopped.
When we feel light hearted, we are playful.
When we feel joyful, and happy, we laugh.
And when we feel safe, 
Safe,
Safe... 
It is then,
Finally, that
We are 
At ease.

I take the ride.


Tuesday, March 16, 2021

THE TWIST

 "Through a looking glass darkly..."
~ Swedish Film Title ~

Sometimes we think we see more clearly than we actually 
Do see.
Something seems apparent to us,
Obvious,
And then, 
In some twist of circumstance,
We realize
That we have been wrong all along,
Mistaken,
Perceived something amiss.
It happens frequently-
More frequently, perhaps,
Than we want to admit.

Being certain about something doesn't make me right. 


Monday, March 15, 2021

BEING SEEN

"All are but parts of one stupendous whole whose body Nature is and God the soul."
~ Alexander Pope ~

There may be things more powerful than connecting with other sentient beings
But I don't know what they are.
In community,
We are lifted,
Validated,
Awakened,
Seen.

I am not alone. 



Sunday, March 14, 2021

THE HALLWAY

"When one door closes, another one opens, but it's hell in the hallway."
~ American Saying ~ 

I'm in the hallway-
Can't go back-
Don't want to go back-
But not clear where the new door is,
Disoriented,
Waiting for the light. 

It's ok to be still and to not know. 

Thursday, March 11, 2021

ALL IN

"You can't be just a little bit pregnant."
~ American Idiom ~

In new territory, old fixes
Are questionably effective.
We can't be half-in and half-out,
Wanting to keep what we like from what has been
And open to only some of what's in front of us and 
unfamiliar.
It's not all or nothing with everything,
But it is here.
If we want a new life
We have to be ALL IN.

I let go and surrender. 



 

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

SOUL SHRINKER

"I am my own affirmative that transcends all negatives and denials,
The day renounces me- and I sink my roots deeper into the centuries."
~ Muriel Strode ~

In a deck of Oracle cards I used to use frequently, 
There is a card called "Soul Shrinker,"
And choosing it represents unhelpful, malicious, gossipy talk or thoughts
About ourselves or others.
I have been noticing recently how much that energy wants to play
In my life- around myself more than others- and my choices, 
And everything about who I am in the world.
As the card suggests, it shrinks my soul, and takes me down.
Worth being aware of?
Absolutely!
Worth bothering with beyond that? 
Worth believing?
Worth attaching to?
Absolutely not!

I don't have to believe everything I think.


Tuesday, March 9, 2021

THE FAMILIAR

"Knowledge is fuel, not fire."
~ Walter Moxon ~

What's familiar has a strong pull.
It feels safer than what's new somehow,
Even if it isn't necessarily safer...
And so often, it seems we would rather endure than explore,
And know what to expect, even if we don't particularly like it,
Than have no expectations at all.

I am open to the mystery. 

Monday, March 8, 2021

NEVER BEEN THERE, NEVER DONE THAT

"Suppose, however thickly evils crowd upon you, that your unconquerable subjectivity proves to be their match, and that you find a more wonderful joy than any passive pleasure can bring in trusting ever in the larger whole."
~ William James ~

In familiar places, we slip into old habits like sliding our foot
into a comfortable slipper.
The fit feels natural.
But much as we believe in things being "the same"
There is a constantly shifting inner landscape at play,
And an external world that reflects that inner movement.
We expect the same, and it feels different, so
We find ourselves at a loss.
Perhaps, the habit to cultivate is one of
Ever new seeing-
Committing to fresh sight,
To actively looking for the UNfamiliar
And actively feeling it.
That way, life never gets stale,
And we remain amazed 
at the variety
Of experience out there.

I never think I know it all. 

Sunday, March 7, 2021

PERMISSION

"It's ok. It's ok. It's ok."
~ Debi Roemer ~

It's ok to feel sad.
It's ok to feel angry.
It's ok to be afraid,
Worried,
Frustrated,
Overwhelmed.
It's ok to have high hopes
And nightmares both.
It's ok to live big, and
It's ok to live small.
It's ok to like the cold.
It's ok to like the heat.
And it's ok to like them both, or
Not like them both.
It's ok to be busy or 
Still.
It's ok to want things.
It's ok not to want for things.
It's ok to be colorful, neutral, spicy, or
Bland.
It's all part of the living experience, and
If we're not dead, then
We're living.
We're ALIVE!

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok. 

Thursday, March 4, 2021

CHAOS

"Beauty is something wonderful and strange that the artist fashions out of the chaos of the world."
~ Somerset Maugham ~

Chaos is not very grounding,
but it's necessary.
It breaks things up-
Shatters them apart-
Creates space and
Fresh ground
For new growth
Like sprouts in the forest after a wildfire:
Green and lush. 

I accept the messiness that comes with the living experience. 


Wednesday, March 3, 2021

INTO BLISS

"Ad astra per aspera (To the stars through difficulty)."
~ Latin Saying ~

Before we come out in the light
It's as if we need to pass through a kind of birth canal.
We have to give birth to our self.
Labor pains, tears, doubt, fear-
All of these need to be melted somehow-
Dissolved,
As we pass and strain into
No strain,
Into peace,
Into stillness,
Into 
Bliss.

I journey through the passages of my perceptions and conditioning. 

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

WHAT'S NEEDED

"We must not tamper with the organic motion of the soul."
~ RW Emerson ~

There are times to rally community support,
To include others in our intentions
And hopes,
And dreams.
And then,
There are some things 
We just have to do
Alone. 

The soul's journey is at times a private one. It lets us know. 



Monday, March 1, 2021

NO HELPING IT

"I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you."
~ Dr Seuss ~

Sometimes life is just emotionally messy.
There's no helping it.
The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the exciting, the overwhelm,
The serenity, the despair...
It's all mixed up and sloshes through the body
Like water on the bottom of a rowboat
Lurching back and forth
In the wake of big waves.

Sometimes, that's just the way it is.


Sunday, February 28, 2021

JUST THINKING

"You and I are not what we eat; we are what we think."
~ Walter Anderson ~

We have a fearful thought and suddenly 
We are gripped by fear of the possibility of it,
And our gripping grows it.
Additional thoughts stack on top of the original one.
Until we become tense and stressed out.

Time passes and the fearful happening doesn't happen,
But we have moved on to new thoughts that grip us,
And remain tense.

I detach from my thoughts and relax, observing how they come and go.

Thursday, February 25, 2021

AND ON IT GOES

"I used to trouble about what life was for- now being alive seems sufficient reason."
~ Joanna Field ~

Life is a continuum.
Every ending is a new beginning.
And every morning turns to dusk.

I am flowing like a river.




Wednesday, February 24, 2021

THE WAY IT WANTS TO GO

"First things first."
~ Bill Wilson ~

Sometimes in an effort to simplify a process,
We end up complicating it instead.
Our interest in speed works against us,
And we become stuck insisting on our shortcut,
And frustrated the longer it delays us.
Inevitably, we end up back at square one,
Beginning again,
And having to take it the way it wanted to go in the first place-
One step at a time.

I stop trying to speed through life, and make the decision to live it instead. 

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

THE POWER AT WORK

 "God is the answer.
What's the question?"
~ Charlie Matheson ~


The scope of the power at work in our lives is 
beyond comprehension.
We set our goals and make our plans
And feel frustrated when things don't play out as we'd anticipated.
And meanwhile, the earth and sky are moving and shifting
Just for us.

I am part and parcel of the tremendous whole. 

Monday, February 22, 2021

THE THING ABOUT PRAYER

"Freedom begins between the ears."
~ Edward Abbey ~

If I pray for freedom, that must mean I'm not currently free,
Which means that actually I am praying to be bound
So that I can experience becoming free. 
We have to be careful.
Prayer is tricky that way.

I am already free. 

Sunday, February 21, 2021

STEADY AND NOT

"I am vast. I contain multitudes."
~ Walt Whitman ~

I am not afraid, and also,
I am afraid.
I am calm and secure, and also,
I am anxious.
I am strong and fragile,
Awkward and highly capable,
Joyful and sad.
The humanity in me shrinks and expands.
The divinity
Quietly 
Abides.

I am not one thing or the other.
I am both and. 

Wednesday, February 17, 2021

THE SLOW FIZZ

"And lo, the Hospital, gray, quiet, old,
Where life and death like friendly chafferers meet."
~William Ernest Henley ~

Time in hospitals stretches like long afternoon shadows.
Medical machines hum hypnotically in the background.
In non-emergency situations,
the environment is entirely non-dynamic.
It's murmuring instead, and numbing and dragging,
And soothing somehow, 
by being utterly, and almost painfully
Dull.

Healing happens over time. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

TOO MUCH

"When it rains, it pours."
~ The Morton Salt Company ~

When we have what feels like more than we can handle,
It seems almost inevitable,
That something else comes along...
Why, I wonder.
To toughen us up?
To push us past the point of breaking into surrender?
To show us we are stronger than we think?
More resilient?
More capable?
None of the above?
All of the above?
Or maybe "Why?" is the wrong question.
Maybe the better question...
Maybe the only question really is 
"Why not?"

Life makes a mockery of my plans.

Monday, February 15, 2021

EMBRACING INSTABILITY

"Vulnerability is the foundation of courage because it requires the ability to navigate uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure."
~ Brene Brown ~

It's hard to be sure.
How can we be, ever?
And is that even the point?
Perhaps, like squats on a BOSU Ball,
The answer lies not in trying to make things be still,
But in becoming entirely comfortable with their lack of stillness,
The constant movement,
The inflexibility,
The ride. 

I'm ok with not being ok. 

Sunday, February 14, 2021

SWEETS FOR THE JOURNEY

"Oh, Earth! You're too wonderful for anybody to realize you."
~ Thornton Wilder ~

Color.
Order.
Nature.
Grace.
A list of gifts
for
The Human Race. 

I thank God. 

Thursday, February 11, 2021

IN THIS TOGETHER

"You're not the only one."
~ Third World ~

We all have so much on our proverbial plates
that it's easy to become self-absorbed to the extent 
that we actually lose the ability to appreciate
The plight of others.
And yet, understanding what some of our sisters and brethren
Are going through, and managing, and surviving
Might be just the thing to 
Save us
From our own internal angst.  

I appreciate that we all have our challenges as well as our joys.

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

TOO CLOSE TO SEE

"We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet."
~ Bob Ross ~

Recently, I have witnessed a process of detailed inspection 
That effectively misses the big picture entirely.
And don't we all do this?
Become so interested in and attached to our little plans and fears
That we are blind to the blessings,
And the grace,
And the absolute bounty
That sits right
Before us. 

Every so often I remember to step back and take a broader view. 

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

ONCE UPON A TIME

"Life is difficult."
~ Scott Peck ~

We all have our dragons,
And we all have our fairy Godmothers.
The journey each of us takes, 
in so many ways, 
is more like a fairytale
Than we realize. 

I am threatened and conqueror both. 

Monday, February 8, 2021

FLASHING SUNLIGHT

"A morning glory at my window pleases me more than the metaphysics of books."
~ Walt Whitman ~

Something I have discovered about myself that
I am newly clear on is this: 
I take great pleasure in small things.
Big views, big ventures, big crowds, big money, big responsibilities-
These all have a certain allure, but the truth for me is that
They're not what I want.
I want tender, elegant noticing of sunlight as it flashes across
Fabric or 
A face.
I want tiny flowers blooming in unlikely places.
I want subtlety and courtesy and gentleness
And a cozy room.
Big things have their place.
Big things have their moment, for sure.
But small things satisfy on a deeper level.
Small things soothe the soul.

I appreciate little noticings of great beauty. 

Sunday, February 7, 2021

BIG JOBS

"First things first."
~ AA Slogan ~

Anything overwhelming can be
Broken down into
Manageable steps,
And taken
One step at a time.
That way, it's not so overwhelming,
And can get
Done.

Instead of taking it all on at once, I focus on the next right thing.

Thursday, February 4, 2021

FOLLOWING THE TIDE

"The tides are in our veins."
~ Robinson Jeffers ~

When there are hoops to jump through
Jumping through them brings
Relief.
When there's a mountain to climb,
Climbing it brings a 
Sense of satisfaction.
And when  there's nothing to do,
Doing nothing brings
Peace.

I do what wants to be done and leave the rest alone. 

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

WHAT'S ENOUGH?

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
~ Leonardo Da Vinci ~

Is too much of a good thing still a good thing?
What constitutes enough?

Simplicity satisfies me. 


Tuesday, February 2, 2021

NOT TRAPPED

"One love. One heart."
~ Bob Marley ~

Perhaps the truth is not that
We are somehow trapped within our bodies,
But that our bodies
Are contained
Within the immensity
Of us.

I am here before my body.

Monday, February 1, 2021

IN FRONT OR BEYOND

"Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?"
~ Rumi ~

There is a watcher in me that watches all of the
Risings and 
Fallings of my
Emotions and thoughts:
A witness.
And then behind that witness,
Or in front of it,
Or beyond,
There is a humming,
A brightness,
An energy,
A
Source.

I am deeper than emotion and vaster than thought.

Sunday, January 31, 2021

SADNESS

"No mud, no lotus."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~

Life on it's head,
Steady uncertainty,
No sense of normal,
Or comfort,
Or levity.
A trudge through,
One step and then another,
Until the sky opens
And the sun bursts 
Forth.

I keep the faith and stay the course.

Thursday, January 28, 2021

THE BUZZ

If you harness the energy of the wind you can ride it...

I feel warm and cozy and safe from the 
Buzz of certain places and people
And distinctly disturbed by
the energy of others.

I am grateful for the people and places that make me feel safe.

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

PRIVATE WORLDS

"A penny will hide the biggest star in the Universe if you hold it close enough to your eye."
~ Samuel Grafton ~

Our worlds are so largely internal
that a group of us can share an exact experience
and each of us tell it
and feel it
a different way.

My way of seeing is uniquely my own. 

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

REAL RICHES

"Would you sell your eyesight for a million dollars?"
~ Author Unknown ~

Money is only one form of wealth,
And mostly,
Not the best one.
Peace of mind,
Health,
Freedom,
Ease,
The glories of our five senses:
These are riches no money can buy.

I am blessed by the experience of being alive.




Monday, January 25, 2021

WITH OR WITHOUT FEAR

"Fear cannot take what you do not give it."
~ Christopher Coan ~

Some fear inspires action.
And some fear keeps us from moving at all.
Fear takes our breath,
Pounds our heart,
Clenches our jaw, and
Aches our head.

Without fear we are free and easy.

With it, we are 
On edge and
Energetically
Stiff.

I relax and surrender to the currents of life.

Sunday, January 24, 2021

THE GAME

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players."
~ Shakespeare

 As a young girl, I learned how to play the
"I can take it" game,
And became proficient at enduring challenge and stress with a stiff upper lip.
It's a skill I have continued to perfect over the years, and
Matching it with the "Let's see how much I can give" game,
It's become the ideal recipe for anxiety that won't quit:
No room to let the guard down.
No room to relax.
Always ready for the next struggle, and the next one.

Realizing the truth of this recently,
I have decided to change the game.
It's not about how much of anything anymore.
It's about FREEDOM now-
Across the board.

I choose the rules and the game I play.

Thursday, January 21, 2021

THE PROBLEM OF THE MOMENT

 "There are only so many hours in a day."
~ American Expression ~

Time fills,
And not only with what we plan,
But with all of life's little urgencies that 
Demand we pay attention.
In our modern world,
It's easy to be ruled by
The moment's seeming problem,
But we needn't be.
The thing to remember is that ultimately,
Whatever we do.
Or don't do,
Is entirely 
Up to us. 

Most things can wait for our attention a little longer than we let them. 

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

BATTLE WEARY

"Surrender to win."
~ 12 Step Philosophy ~

Sometimes we are fighting against something internally and don't even know
We are fighting. 
Our bodies know it.
We can feel it in our necks, our shoulders, our jaws,
Our throat.
And it is not until we surrender the fight,
And relief comes,
and the body relaxes,
that we realize 
How battle weary 
and bruised
We have become. 

I stop fighting things being the way they are. 

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

VIM AND VIGOR

"For this hour, I ask you to ignore the surface-glamour of existence, the buzzing and jigging and vibration of small interests and excitements that form the tissue of our ordinary consciousness, and instead turn your attention to the profounder bass-note of life."
~ William James ~

Sometimes we have the vision
And the energy
And the stamina
And the vim, and vigor, and verve.
And
Sometimes...

we

just

don't. 

I surf the waves of enthusiasm, and relax in the water between sets.

Monday, January 18, 2021

DIVINE CORRECTION

"The feeling remains that God is on the journey too."
~ Teresa of Avila~ 

Three significant times in my life,
I have been on the precipice of willingness
To settle for something that wasn't fundamentally ok from a valuation perspective-
A selling out,
A discounting of myself, 
A vast compromise on my part to get along,
Feeling that to be my only option,
And God has stepped in to not allow it- 
Each time-
Rather drastically. 
It's as if I was driving down a road that became suddenly
And irrevocably impassable:
Blocked.
And at the time- what frustration!
What angst, and hurt feelings.
I was prepared to travel that road, no matter what it took.
And yet,
I also understood somehow,
That a correction was being made,
And I was not being punished, but re-routed,
Not impeded,
But
Saved.

Fate intervenes time and again to keep me safe. 

Sunday, January 17, 2021

THE COST

"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us."
~ Emily Kimbrough ~

Sometimes we have to viscerally feel 
the literal and figurative 
cost 
of our choices:
The FULL IMPACT, 
So that we can understand the real ramifications of what we've chosen,
And have the freedom, 
going forward,
To choose differently,
For a different result.

I understand and accept the consequences of my choices.


Thursday, January 14, 2021

THE LIMITS OF ANTICIPATION

"Rush out in the rain to be soaked with the sky."
~ Rumi ~


It's impossible to know in advance how things will feel,
Or be.
We think we know.
We are sure that this or that will make us happy,
Or bored,
Or satisfied,
Or satiated.
Or serene.
But we're usually wrong.
It's exactly that which we can't possibly anticipate that happens,
The turn of events that spins us in psychological circles
And leaves us breathless, 
Or remorseful, or
stunned.

I stay awake for the unexpected.


Wednesday, January 13, 2021

THE SAVING PRINCIPLE

"For when I am powerless, it is then that I am strong."
~ Paul the Apostle ~

Some people seem like they need saving,
And yet,
No amount of love or healthy guidance can steer them
In the direction we want them to go.
We don't have that power, much as we may want it.
And the truth is, maybe it's not saving they need,
but experience, and the impetus inside of themselves
That will come when it comes
To transcend.

Every human life is a divine adventure. 

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

IDEAS OF FEAR

"Little fears love to walk on stilts."
~ Henry Stanley Haskins ~

We do a great dis-service to ourselves and to the world by
Spreading ideas of fear and
possible disaster.
These plant the seed for them to actually
Happen
For real,
And invite worry and
Anxiety, and
Fret.
Let's spread the idea of possibility instead,
And live from the whimsical and easy space of
Being ok with whatever, 
and
Why not?

Sharing my disempowering thoughts makes them bigger. 



Monday, January 11, 2021

FREEDOM

"Be ground. Be crumbled, so wildflowers will come up where you are."
~ Rumi ~

If we didn't know who we are,
Who would we be?

My conditioning doesn't have to define me.

Thursday, January 7, 2021

MOVING

"Again!"
~ Kurt Russel from the movie Miracle ~

We moved in the spring of 2016,
From a farm we owned to a rental house:
Virginia to Virginia.
And then in the spring of 2017 we moved
To Montana,
And several months after that, we moved
To Santa Fe, New Mexico.
And then in the spring of 2018,
We moved back to Virginia,
To a temporary living situation that lasted until the 
Late summer of 2019 when we moved 
Into the farm we thought would be forever,
But turned out not to be.
And here we are,
Packing boxes and taking things off the walls
Yet again. 

I am settled in my heart. 


Wednesday, January 6, 2021

ENOUGH

"Each silence has a character of its own."
~ Kent Nerburn ~

Sometimes we have nothing to share.
We are simply empty,
And vast.
Life will come along and fill us up again 
Before too long
With it's busy-ness and noise,
But in the gap,
There is a certain freedom.
It's quiet,
And calm.

Being drained of emotion makes room for being still.

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

THE ONLY OPTION THERE IS

"It is what it is."
~ J.E. Lawrence ~

Sometimes,
Most of the time really...
(If we're honest)
We just have to trust.

Stagnation breeds mosquitoes. 




Monday, January 4, 2021

RHYTHM AND SWING

"I sing the body electric."
~ Walt Whitman ~

We anticipate the future with nerve,
Experience the present with breath, 
Honor the truth in our gut, and
Feel the past in 
Our Heart.

Life is an embodied adventure. 

Sunday, January 3, 2021

THE GIVE-BACK

"Faith is the bird who sings to the dawn while it is still dark."
~ Tagore ~

Life takes courage.
Fear and anxiety demand their due.
Life takes faith.
The view is often blurry, the future utterly fogged in.
Life takes love.
It's easy to hate what we don't understand.
And then, as we travel the road,
Life gives us back everything it takes.

I gain by losing and rise by grace.