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Monday, September 30, 2019

EVER FRESH

"Every hour proves to us that change and decay are written upon all things... As surely will the proudest monuments of human labor pass away, as the morning mist from among the hills."
~ Charles Lanman ~

Although I live by repetitive routines, my experience of them each day is new, because I am new- made fresh by sleep and learning and evolution and letting go. As I change, so do the things I notice, and the sensations I feel. And thank God for that. I am ever curious, and never bored.

From one moment to the next, I am never the same.

Sunday, September 29, 2019

THE FULL MONTY

"Have a day that matters.
Have a day that counts."
~ Shirley McLean~

To be happy maybe isn't really the best goal.
Happiness is fleeting, like a hummingbird at the feeder.
It comes- ah- beautiful- light, gracious, and then-
Gone.
And here's a grip of fear, 
A rise of fury,
A storm of sadness,
Righteousness,
Indignation,
And then happiness alights again...
It's the whole realm that comes and goes.
We're alive so we feel things.
And that's just the way it is.
So maybe the question isn't really, "Are you happy?
Maybe the better question is, "How alive do you feel?"

Emotions move through me, and around me, and in me. 
They circle and bend and flip.


Thursday, September 26, 2019

TYPOS

"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."
~ John Powell ~

The last two blog posts have had typos in them, which are now corrected, but I sent them out to the world without taking the care I usually do to proofread for error. 
The message?
Slow down. 
Demonstrate integrity.
Care.

I take the time I need to take to do things right. 


Wednesday, September 25, 2019

WHAT GOES UP

"Prejudices are the chains formed by ignorance to keep men apart."
~ Countess of Blessington ~

We are so quick to judge others, even without knowing anything at all about them or what they've been through. We think we know.
     Each of us is ever evolving and forever new, and unpredictable, and capable of great wisdom and unexpected insight and kindness and their opposite. It depends on the day, the weather, our mood, and our state of consciousness. Consequently, acceptance of whatever may show up is helpful when dealing with people, and compassion, and the honest appreciation that whatever negative judgment we dole out could just as easily be said about us.

Being human means we're all changeable and ever fresh. 

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

REMEMBERING AND FORGETTING

"Every man's memory is his private literature."
~ Aldous Huxley ~

Sometimes there are things that we've forgotten that we might do better to remember, and sometimes there are things we remember that we might do better to forget. Life is fluid, memories are like dreams, and it's our choice what we hold on to and what we let go.

I have power and choice in this moment. That is where power and choice live. 

Monday, September 23, 2019

THE LIGHT

"Let us fly from the Past on the wings of Faith."
~ James Lendall Basford ~

The past operates on us subconsciously through old survival tactics and emotionally charged triggers. We can free ourselves by looking back and acknowledging how we learned to cope. Our understanding can free us because then we can figure what needs to be forgiven and start anew with the light of consciousness on our side.

I get over the past by objectively acknowledging what actually happened. 

Sunday, September 22, 2019

THE GRACE OF AGING

"Go securely, do not delay; a harbor opens where you feared a shipwreck."
~ Francesco Petrarca ~

I am grateful to be older than I once was 
and not so reckless. 
A certain grace comes as we age 
and our appreciation for the fragility of our life 
and our being 
and all life 
and all beings 
grows.

I take nothing for granted. 

Thursday, September 19, 2019

THE WHOLE SCALE

"Without music life would be a mistake."
~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

Anger is as natural to our being human as happiness is, yet we villainize it as bad, wrong, scary, out-of-control, and inappropriate. Learning to acknowledge, feel, and express our anger is healthy and ok.
     Anytime that we pretend we don't feel something that is human to feel- anger, fear, sadness, joy- we shrink our lives and freeze our vitality. Wanting to be happy all the time is like playing music with one chord. We need the whole scale to fully experience the song.

I welcome all the emotions of my life. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

THOSE WHO CAN'T

"How good water is when you're really thirsty, how it glitters and gurgles! How alive it is!"
~ GK Chesterson ~

In the process of pursuing the attention of people who are emotionally unavailable to us, 
we miss the goodness and pleasure of connection with those who are.

I stop trying to fill my cup at empty wells and go where the water is. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

FALSE PROTECTION

"No risk, no reward."
~ Christy Raedeke ~

In an effort to protect our hearts, we inadvertently shut them down. Being open to life and vulnerable to the whole experience, other people included, is a risk to be sure, but well worth it. The reward is connection, authentic self-expression, and love.

I open my heart. 

Monday, September 16, 2019

RIGHT AND WRONG

"Exaggeration is to paint a snake and add legs."
~ Proverb ~

There's a kind of thrill in knowing we were right about something, even if it's bad news for someone else. It bolsters our spirits. "I KNEW it," we repeat over and over to anyone who will listen as if that makes us extra important.
     If we're honest though, there are just as many things we're wrong about, if not more. And we overplay them too as if we can't believe it.
     We might do better to simply acknowledge quietly to ourselves that sometimes we're right and sometimes we're wrong, and be able to take them both equally and gracefully in stride.

I catch myself exaggerating and get back to being right sized. 

Sunday, September 15, 2019

ROLLING EMOTION

"One's suffering disappears when one lets oneself go, when one yields- even to sadness."
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~

We are emotional beings and the waves of our feelings roll through us morning to midnight.
And our job is not to bypass them or hold them in check,
But to feel them;
To let them be as they are and move through us
however they move.

Feelings ebb and flow within me like the tide.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

NO MORE BITTERNESS

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~

I noticed wrinkle lines around my mouth the other day from setting my face in a determined kind of resistance to life, and then I saw something online that said those lines were an indication of bitterness, and, not wanting that, I've been consciously setting my lips in a gentle kind of smile, and it's amazing how it changes the way my eyes feel, and my face feels, and my heart.

A smile on the lips soothes the soul. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

FALSE REALITY

"The mind is the most capricious of insects."
~ Virginia Wolf ~

We truly do create a world with our thoughts, and every so often, we are given a glimpse behind the curtain and become able to see what's really there, and when we do, it's baffling, especially if we have felt strongly in a certain direction for many years and based our behavior all those years on our false belief.  There's freedom in finally seeing, and yet, a new question arises. If we have been wrong about that one thing, what else might there be?

As certain as I may feel, I remain open to new ideas. 

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

BEING HUMAN

"Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think."
~ L.M. Montgomery ~

I love sitting on a bench and watching people walk by.
We are all so different and all so much the same-
Beautiful, awkward, self-conscious, vulnerable.
I love being a part of the humanity we share.

We are one.

Monday, September 9, 2019

HERITAGE

"To tell the story of one family is to tell what is essential in the story of all... "
~ Moncure D. Conway ~

I am grateful for the female lineage from which I am descended. 
Women of generosity and grace are my heritage.
And women of creativity and skill.
I sometimes forget the blood from which I come
And when I remember
It makes me stand a little taller,
Feel a little braver,
And own the turf on which I stand.

I am proud of my bloodline.  

Sunday, September 8, 2019

THE TANGLES OF OUR STUFF

"Most of us are inclined to keep too many old and useless things in our houses and in our minds as well."
~ Emily Tolman ~

Having the physical aspect of our lives in some kind of order is good for the soul. Disorganization, stockpiles of mixed up junk, messy counters, mounds of unfolded clothes: these things tangle us up on a subconscious level and close down possibility and spaciousness within.

I keep my physical environment clean and clear.

Thursday, September 5, 2019

FREE FROM MENTAL NOISE

"Be the change you want to see."
~Gandhi ~

We all want to look good, to be liked, to be listened to, and to be loved. We want to feel like we matter and that there are others who care. And there may be a voice in our heads that says we don't deserve it and we won't get it, and is self-conscious and unsure.
     But when we are free from this internal mental noise we can readily experience all the goodness of love and connection. All we have to do is give it to others and then we will have it for ourselves.

I receive what I offer. 

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

KNOWING

"To the question of your life, you are the only answer."
~ Jo Coudert ~

Knowing what to do often comes as an uninvited thought; 
and it's not that we've suddenly "figured it out,"
 but that out of nowhere 
we now know. 

Clear sight is fickle and comes and goes as it pleases.

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

FISH ON THE LINE

"You are a beautiful soul hidden by the trench coat of the ego."
~ Mike Dolan ~

When our ego gets hooked, we're in for a ride. It may be a dark ride, or a grandiose one with visions of greatness and grandeur. What it will not be is simple and clear, and simple and clear is where authentic creativity lives.
     So as soon as we are able to quiet the demands of our ego, the truth will speak and we will find our peace, and until then, we are like a fish on a line.

I beware the contortions of my ego when it wants to take the lead. 

Monday, September 2, 2019

GRUFF

"We got this solid love."
~ Joni Mitchell ~

September 3rd is our 8 year wedding anniversary, and our love is deep still,
like a still lake. 
We are best friends, and courageous adventurers.
We are silly together, and serious together.
We work hard.
We eat well.
We talk honestly every day, and share the hard stuff,
As well as the fun stuff.
We are solid and strong,
as individuals,
And as a couple. 
I never thought it could happen to me,
But here we are,
And I am forever grateful for 
My Gruff.

I love my husband. 

Sunday, September 1, 2019

WHAT WE WANT

"Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you."
~ Rumi ~

Sometimes we have to pay money to get what we want, 
sometimes it just comes to us, 
and sometimes we stumble upon it like an old friend, and are immediately familiar. 

Whether I orchestrate it or not, generally speaking, I seem to get what I want, 
and most definitely everything I need.