*

*
*

Thursday, December 31, 2020

2021

"The old year cracks under the burdensome weight of twelve heavy months, and the next year emerges fresh and anew from its shell."
~ Terri Guillemets ~

And so it begins.
What will we make of it?

In some ways I am powerless, and in other ways, my life is entirely up to me.


Wednesday, December 30, 2020

NEW YEAR'S EVE

"I have a fine lot of hopes here in my basket."
~ Nathanial Hawthorne ~

It's time to shake things up a bit!
Try new arrangements.
Try new mindsets.
Re-set tired programs.
Refresh what's raggedy.
Rejuvenate what's sagging.
Be alive again,
And bright!
Because
We are. 

I re-new myself today, and again tomorrow, and again the day after that. 

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

WONDERING

"The most decisive actions of our life... are most often unconsidered."
~ Andre Gide ~

I am afraid
And not afraid
Alone 
And not alone
Fired up
And exhausted to the core.
I am free
And bound
Water
And sound.

At the end-
The beginning-
And
Rooted in the ground.

The New Year is coming. What will it bring?


Monday, December 28, 2020

TODAY'S PARTICULAR KNOWING

"It is strange and wonderful what changes may be wrought by a few fleeting months."
~ Elizabeth J. Eames ~

We think we know,
And we live in the reality of that particular knowing.
And then a deeper truth is revealed
And our reality changes,
Again and
Again and
Again.

Life rolls me over.

Sunday, December 27, 2020

THE AFTREMATH PRELUDE

"There is an order to all things, a pressure of progression... there is no halt, no turning back. Tomorrow rises in the east.."
~ Hal Borland ~

Here we are
Winding down one year
and
Winding up the next.
In this, 
the pause between holidays,
We find 
the quiet,
languid,
restful,
exhausted,
anticipatory
Hope.

I am here for the duration. 

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

SWEET SADNESS

"Remember
This December
That love weighs more than gold!"
~ Josephine D.D. Bacon ~

Christmas has come again.
Always the same.
Always different.
Hope and joy and beauty and lights.
Indulgence and expense and family dynamics.
Sweet.
Sad. 
Busy.
Lonely.
Chaotic.
Lively.
Festive.
Still.

I experience the many moods of Christmas.

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

BEGGING THE QUESTION

"I have grown old from being serious. "
~ Kamand Kojouri ~

Who wants to feel uncomfortable, unsure, or in pain?
Who wants to suffer emotionally?
None of us, 
which is why 
We are always seeking answers, solutions, and
Quick fixes.
And yet, we DO feel uncomfortable, 
we are unsure,
And pain comes.
So that begs the question,
How well do our solutions work?
Not very, seems to me...
Which begs the question,
Who's in charge here?
And the answer
Eludes us...
And on we go.

I surrender to the way that grace plays. 

Monday, December 21, 2020

LESS THAN WE THINK

"Relax a little bit. Give life a chance to flow its own way, unassisted by your mind and effort."
~Mooji ~

Whatever shows up,
We don't have to fix it.
We don't have to fear it.
We don't have to steer it.
It's just what shows up.

The truth is simple.

Sunday, December 20, 2020

PRESENCE

"Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be."
~ Eckhart Tolle ~

The sweetness of life comes through when we are fully present,
Engaged in the moment,
With a quiet mind,
And all sensations
Fully awake. 

It's always there, but mostly, we miss it. 

Thursday, December 17, 2020

FEELING ANXIOUS

"It came to pass."
(Appears 727 times in the King James Version of the Bible)

Anxiety is newly alive in my physiology,
Beating my heart,
Gulping my throat,
Tensing my muscles.
And much as I'd like it to depart,
It seems to have a will of its own,
So the best I can seem to do these days is to
Let it be there
And stop hating it, fighting it, fearing it, fueling it...
It's just a feeling-
A reeling feeling that comes
And comes
And comes,
And then, 
quietly,
goes...
Until it comes again. 

I take the dips and flips in stride.

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

THE JOURNEY

"People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day."
~ Winnie the Pooh ~

The journey feels long,
And hard.
But maybe it's not.
Maybe the place we are aiming for
is actually the
Place
We are aiming
From. 

I am open to the possibility that things may not be exactly how they seem. 

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

THE THINGS WE SHARE

"No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head."
~ Terry Josephson ~

We have disempowering stories that we tell ourselves,
And share with others. 
We enroll them in our sad tale.
It strengthens our case.
We feel empowered to be disempowered,
And it makes life a trudge.

But we're the one initiating the story!
And we can flip the script
Any time
We choose. 

I have the power to inspire or depress my experience. 
It all depends on what I say.

Monday, December 14, 2020

POWER

"Your arm's too short to box with God."
~ James Weldon Johnson ~

Our power lies not in our ability to 
manipulate people and situations in the manifest world, 
but within,
Where truth is,
And God,
And the Light.
Power isn't something that comes TO us.
It's the 
SOURCE
Out of which
All things 
Arise. 

I breathe, and breathe, and breathe again. 

Sunday, December 13, 2020

THE PEACE WE SEEK

"I am that."
~ Nisargadatta Marahaj ~

Many things in the universe are out of our control,
Yet we think we can control them anyway-
People, circumstances, flooding rains, the future...
When we STOP trying to control the things we can't control anyway,
We experience relief,
And peace. 

And it's the same with enlightenment.
Beyond the surface noise of our egoic identity,
We are ALREADY enlightened,
But we don't know it.
We think it's something we have to work for,
Meditate to earn,
Achieve by struggle, 
Or grace. 
But enlightened being is WHO WE ARE.
Not knowing it doesn't change the fact.

When we realize this truth that is already true,
Just by seeing it...
We realize that
We ARE the peace we have been seeking.
The search is over.
We have been there all along. 

I am. 

Thursday, December 10, 2020

THE PLAY OF GRACE

"All are but parts of one stupendous whole, whose body Nature is, and God the soul."
~ Alexander Pope ~

Some things in life happen as the result of great effort,
And others come easy, like a breeze on a hot day,
But in both situations, 
Grace has its play,
And we are guided and re-directed,
And stopped,
And stalled,
And released,
And rewarded,
And renewed,
Like trees through the seasons, and when they first bloom
in the spring.

We belong to the journey and the journey belongs to us. 

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

THE SPACE AROUND US

"Everything is restless until it comes home."
~ John Bate ~

Creating a nurturing environment in which to live serves us greatly.
Keeping the space clean and clear of clutter,
Decorated with things that delight us,
Lighting candles,
Having fresh flowers-
These things make us feel wrapped in love,
And we need that,
Perhaps now more than ever.

I surround myself with beauty. 

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

NOTICINGS

"I'm wholly devoted to while we're here."
~ Erika Harris ~

Our suffering humbles us.
Simple things keep us grounded.
Conversation heals hurt,
And fresh Christmas Trees seem to get prettier and prettier
The closer to Christmas 
they get.

Observing life enriches the daily experience. 

Monday, December 7, 2020

PERMISSION

"I am the sunlight to the soil of my own soul."
~ Muriel Strode ~

I like the idea of scented candles.
To have some delicious fragrance wafting through the breezes of the house
Sounds heavenly.
And whenever I encounter some kind of gourmet candle, I smell it, and, if it smells good,
Take out my wallet and envision the delight.
I have done this countless times,
Only to get home, light it up, and within minutes, blow it out and pack it away,
because it feels too strong, or too sweet, or too something.
This is not to say scented candles aren't wonderful-
They well may be... for others,
Just not for me.

It's ok to be who I am. 

Sunday, December 6, 2020

WINDCHIMES

"The line of life is a snarl of loops and ends."
~ James Lendall Basford ~

I heard a song once about windchimes.
In verse one, the singer was celebrating the tinkling,
And by verse three the tinkling was driving her mad.

Life experience is constantly changing. I appreciate where I am. 

Thursday, December 3, 2020

SPIRITUAL GIRTH

"For such loss, I would believe, abundant recompense."
~ William Wordsworth ~

The things we survive give us spiritual girth.
On the way to the church for my sister's memorial service-
She killed herself 
and I was to read Lines Written Above Tintern Abby 
for her 
at the podium-
I remember having this inner knowing.

If I could bury my only sister,
Then, 
surely,
I could do anything. 

I am strengthened by hardship. 


Wednesday, December 2, 2020

CLAMORING STORIES

"'Tis the great art of life to manage well
The restless mind."
~ John Armstrong ~

We build cases against people and hardship for ourselves 
in our minds.
And then we clash in the world with our clamoring stories.
The noise is deafening,
And makes it difficult for
The truth
To be
Seen.

I carefully chaperone the thoughts in my mind. 

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

RIDDLE

"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment."
~Rumi ~

Who would we be if we didn't know who we are?

Not knowing may be less of a problem than we think.


Monday, November 30, 2020

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse."
~ Kimberly Johnson ~

When someone shares with us that something we have done has
Hurt their feelings, 
or
Created some other kind of hardship,
Or suffering,
Or inconvenience,
Generally, 
We are
Quick
To defend ourselves
And make excuses,
And explain away our behavior,
When what they really want
(And what's most needed)
Is an acknowledgement of the truth for them of what they've shared,
And a simple and sincere 
Apology
From
Us.

I own my part in the unfolding drama of life. 

Sunday, November 29, 2020

BEYOND THE BEYOND

"Don't worry about anything at all.
You are not here by accident."
~ Mooji ~

We are simultaneously
the ground behind our experiencing,
The experience itself with all of its
Emotions and physicality,
And the witness of both.

I am more than my conditioning.


Thursday, November 26, 2020

RICH APPRECIATION

"Too often too late comes too soon."
~ Dr SunWolf ~

One year ago today, our beloved German Shepherd, Boss, was still alive,
And so was my cousin's son, Max,
And so were all those like them who have died unexpectedly.
We want to know, but the only thing certain is our not knowing.
Living in rich appreciation of what each day brings seems an advisable strategy,
As does kindness,
And compassion,
And love. 

I stop insisting on the future and wake up to the day I'm in. 

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

GRATEFUL AND LONGING

"On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence."
~William Jennings Bryan ~

Thanksgiving again.
Another turkey and stuffing, 
Sweet potatoes,
Pumpkin pie.
But a bit of a different world this year,
And so, 
As always,
the mix-
Of old and new,
Familiar and strange,
Together and apart,
Hungry and full,
Grateful and longing,
And all of the above
And none of the above.

It's the unpredictable mix and side by side opposites that keep us engaged in the journey of life.


Tuesday, November 24, 2020

AGING

"Go securely... a harbor opens where you feared a shipwreck."
~ Francesco Petrarca ~

I am grateful for the aging process 
And all the subtle
And not so subtle
Wisdom
That comes with it.

Life experience is a good thing. 

Monday, November 23, 2020

TRANSCENDENCE

"And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair."
~ Khalil Gibran ~

I am grateful when the sun shines
After dense clouds and rain.
I am grateful for hot showers and soap
After a long day of working in the dirt.
I am grateful for the joy of forgiveness
After a fight.
And I am grateful for energy moving
After energy that has 
sluggishly
stalled.

One thing comes through the other again and again and again. 

Sunday, November 22, 2020

PRAISE FOR LIVING

"The struggle ends when gratitude begins."
~ Neale Donald Walsch ~

In spite of the Corona Virus and everything else going on in the broad world,
and in my world,
I am grateful.
I am grateful to be alive,
To feel fresh air on my face.
To smell wood smoke,
To be entertained by the uniqueness of people,
And to recognize our similarities;
To have friends,
To have children,
To have a lovely home.
I am grateful for Art,
For Nature,
For God,
And for the 5 rhythms of life.
I am grateful to know presence,
And the beauty of the heart.

From all around and up and down, 
I am blessed.

Thursday, November 19, 2020

APPROACHING THANKSGIVING 2020

"Conversations will not be cancelled.
Relationships will not be cancelled.
Love will not be cancelled.
Songs will not be cancelled...
May we lean into the good stuff that remains."
~ Jamie Tworkowski ~

Our strange year continues-
Discouraged to gather for the annual gathering holiday
Banned from travel
Isolated from elders
Afraid to shake hands and hug.
It's a sadness,
And a journey of acceptance,
And great blind faith. 

I trust God.

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

CURIOUS CONVENIENCE

"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed."
~ Joan Rivers ~

Shopping online is both convenient and tricky.
The images we see on the screen create a vision in our mind,
And sometimes what arrives in the mail doesn't measure up-
Sometimes not at all.
And other times, we are pleasantly delighted by what we receive.

I enjoy life's surprises. 

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

OPEN HEARTED SHARING

"In the normal state of the soul, when life is oppressed, when the vastest issues break like angry oceans in the spirit- then thoughts seem bent on uttering themselves."
~ William A Quayle ~

The best cure I know 
for what ails us emotionally 
is to speak our hearts and minds out loud
in a calm and honest way,
And be heard by someone 
Who cares about us enough
To listen quietly
And not judge.

I am healed by communication. 

Monday, November 16, 2020

RIDUCULOUSNESS

"I ask you to ignore the buzzing and jigging and vibration of small interests and excitements that form the tissue of our ordinary consciousness, and instead turn your attention to the profounder bass-note of life."
~ William James ~

Let's skip the "petty" across the board, and get on to the broader view.

I stop nitpicking and open to the largesse of the living experience.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

SUPER-SOFT

"May brooks and trees and singing hills join in the chorus too. 
And every gentle wind that blows send happiness to you.'
~ Irish Blessing ~

I went to the dentist the other day for a teeth cleaning, and was told that I brush too hard, so the hygienist gave me a tiny, super-soft brush to use with great care, and it's been interesting. My mind tells me that it's impossible to clean my teeth in such a gentle fashion, and yet there's something about it that feels right on, and even nurturing. 
     Through this process, I've realized that I tend to wash my face in a somewhat over the top aggressive manner as well, so the question that has arisen is why? And the answer seems to be linked to the more is better concept, and the generalized urge I seem to have to force and push and grab at life as if it needs my urgent help, which, of course, it does not.
     When I can loosen the reins in any fashion, my experience becomes soothing instead of exhausting, and the ride a pleasure instead of a chore. 

I trust what's easy and graceful, and understand that everything doesn't have to be hard.

Thursday, November 12, 2020

WHEN?

"You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk."
~ Louise Smith ~

The time to take on challenges and new ventures is not when we're tired,
But when we're fresh.

I save the projects that need my mental brightness for the morning hours.

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

JOURNEY OF TIME

"The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder."
~ Ralph W. Sockman 

What energizes us?
And what exhausts us?

What fills us with faith?
And what makes us fearful?

When do we go to sleep?
And how do we wake up?

I ponder the patterns of life experience. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

COLLECTIVE UNITY

"To each his own."
 ~ Shakespeare ~

Recently, I have recognized in myself a desire for collective unity,
Which doesn't mean that everyone has to agree on everything,
Only that everyone be on the same page
That in the big picture,
We are in this together.
I understand the value of that kind of unity-
The cocoon that holds us all-
And valuing that,
I have come up against single-mindedness,
And individual process,
And lack of interest in the collective whole,
Which makes me sad,
And also teaches me new levels of compassion,
And appreciation,
For everybody being exactly where they are.

I understand that we're not all there yet. 

Monday, November 9, 2020

FARE THEE WELL

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning."
~ Ivy Baker Priest ~

Goodbyes are cleansing and necessary.
They open up space for the next hello.

I am easy with the comings and goings of life. 


Sunday, November 8, 2020

NOT KNOWING

"We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties."
~ Oswald Chambers ~

If we ask for something from the depths of our heart, 
Our next job is to let go of the outcome,
And to trust that 
Though we may not know how,
Or who, 
Or what,
Our prayers can still be answered.

I surrender and trust. 

Thursday, November 5, 2020

2020

"Let it be."
~ The Beatles~ 

From where I sit,
If 2020 had a theme,
It would be something along the lines of
Resistance and disbelief.
Over and over again this year I have found myself
Seriously questioning what appears to be happening,
On both the personal and the global scale,
And feeling like it can't really be happening that way,
And yet, 
It is.
So, what's to be done?
A sigh?
A shrug?
A bit of radical acceptance?
It's the final quarter of the year now,
And perhaps the theme will continue into 2021,
And perhaps it won't,
But for now,
And for always really,
Oh, well, and there it is.

Whatever is happening is happening, and maybe it has deep and broad implications and significance, and maybe it doesn't. 





Wednesday, November 4, 2020

STRANGE

"The music beat on among youthful leaves, into the darkness, beneath the gold and mute cacophony of stars..."
~ William Faulkner ~

It's incredible how easily we can take things for granted,
And make assumptions about how it's going to be,
When the truth is-
The TRUE truth...
Is that we just never know. 

I keep an open mind and remain curious. 

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

CLEAN AND CRISP

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
~ Leonardo Da Vinci ~

Complicated situations weigh us down like chains.
They are heavy with human concerns and fears.

Simplicity, on the other hand, feels light and breezy,
Clean, and
Crisp, and
Supremely divine. 

I deeply appreciate what is simple, direct, and to the point. 


Monday, November 2, 2020

SURPRISE

"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."
~ Ambrose Bierce ~

Our knowing about things seems to come naturally-
We "have a feeling"
And that makes us certain that we're right.
And yet, our certainty does not guarantee our correctness.
As my friend Matt likes to point out,
We can be 100% certain about something and 100% wrong about it at the same time.
So where does that leave us?
Not knowing, 
More than we'd like to admit.
And that's where faith comes in,
And curiosity,
And the delight of
Surprise.

I know less than I think I do. 



Sunday, November 1, 2020

WHATEVER IS NEEDED

"Music is to the soul what a water bath is to the body."
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes ~

Music is a good friend.
It keeps us company,
Inspires us,
Distracts us,
Entertains us,
Calms us,
Moves us-
Whatever is needed. 
Music is a good friend.

I appreciate rhythm and lyrics and instruments and song!

Thursday, October 29, 2020

EASY DOES IT BUT DO IT

"He who hesitates is lost." 
~ Joseph Addison ~

If we drag our feet indecisively for too long
Trying to save ourselves from every potential pitfall in advance,
Then it's likely someone else may come along
And take what we've been after
In a flash-
Leaving us "holding the bag" so to speak:
Full of all our thoughts and worries and visions...
With nowhere now 
to spend them.

I deliberate briefly, and then take action. 


Wednesday, October 28, 2020

THE RIGHT CHOICE

"Instinct selects the best method first."
~ James Lendall Basford ~

Often, we know our choice intuitively right away,
But then we second guess ourselves, and check,
And re-check,
Until we have tried out all the possible options,
And thoroughly convinced ourselves,
That the first choice 
remains
the right one. 

I trust my spontaneous intuitive knowing. 

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

OVER WHEN IT'S OVER

"The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too."
~ Teresa of Avila ~

Sometimes we're ready to be done with a project,
But it's not ready to be done with us. 
There's a process that has to play out,
Steps to be taken,
Emotions felt.
It's not for us always
To say when we're ready 
Or complete.
It's over when it's over,
And not 
a second 
before. 

Whether I like it or not, I'm a part of the process. 

Monday, October 26, 2020

GRUFF'S BACK

"Duck! Here comes another day!"
~ Charles Schulz ~

Four years ago at this time, we were anticipating my husband's total spinal reconstruction surgery.
His Doctor called me personally and spoke to me for 20 minutes to be sure I understood
That this was a big deal-
A 12 hour surgery, with multiple blood transfusions and an uncertain result.
The recovery would be long.
The physical limitations permanent.
We needed to prepare ourselves.
And then we got through it with more grace than seemed possible...
And then we moved to Montana,
And then we moved to New Mexico,
And then we moved back to Virginia and took on the recovery and renovation
Of this unbelievably beautiful farm,
And then we discovered it was too much,
So now it's for sale,
And here we are-
Carried somehow all the way through this grand adventure,
And nonetheless lacking in trust 
For whatever may lie ahead.

I have faith in life's surprising blessings. 

Sunday, October 25, 2020

HOW MUCH DO WE OWE?

"Dare to be honest."
~ Robert Burns 

It pays to be fresh and authentic.
And it costs dearly to piggy back on someone else's dream.

I follow my own True North. 

Thursday, October 22, 2020

MEANING MAKING MACHINES

"If we refuse to pray until we can elucidate the mystery of prayer, we are as foolish as a man would be who would shut off the rain from his garden until he understands the balancing of clouds."
~ Will Rogers ~

Why is it that we seem driven to make sense of things?
We want to know, "Why?"
And, "Why not?"
And, "What happened?"
And, "What does it mean?"
We are meaning making machines,
Expending endless effort trying to "figure things out"
When no amount of figuring will solve the problem
Because fundamentally, there is no problem-
Only mystery,
And experience,
And an inability to trust what we cannot understand. 

I am rich with the mysteries of ongoing daily experience.

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

BUGS IN NUMBERS

 "We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics."
~ Bill Vaughn ~

Around here, tis the season of Stinkbugs and Ladybugs-
"Stinky Bugs" as my friend called them earlier today...
And much as they are an annoyance,
They also command a certain respect,
For their tenacity,
And resilience,
And toughness,
And strategy,
And strength in numbers approach to life.

Nature teaches me great things and small things too, so I've learned to pay attention. 


Monday, October 19, 2020

BURNOUT

 "Slow and steady wins the race."
~ Hans Christian Anderson ~

The other day, someone described me as being "hyper-productive"
And I am not that all the time
but I have been on a roll lately.
What happens to me when I'm in that mode is that I burn out,
And lose patience
For everyone else 
Who is pleasantly productive.
I want to ramp them up to speed.

The point is,
This hyper productive mode is actually a trick.
It seems effective.
I get a lot done and feel proud,
But I'm isolated in it,
Seeking recognition for my accomplishments as if they define my worth,
And quick to irritation with all the things I can't control...
Which is almost everything.

It would be ok, and preferable even, to savor the experience I'm about 
Instead of choking it down in violent gulps.

I stop before I've gone too far. 


Sunday, October 18, 2020

BIG AND LITTLE

"That's the way that it goes."
~ Gillian Welch ~

Small things have an easier time turning than big things.
Think of the difference between a Mini Cooper and an 18 wheeler,
Or a kayak and a cruise ship.
There's labor and procedure and care required for big things to turn.
It takes planning
 and preparedness.
Little things, on the other hand,
Can turn on a dime,
Instantaneously,
Quick as a flash.

So which is better?

There's no better,
Just acknowledgement,
And appreciation,
That conditions are what they are. 

I accept the intrinsic characteristics of whatever I am trying to turn. 

Thursday, October 15, 2020

MEETING PEOPLE

 "What is a human being but a private soul hiding behind a public mask, asking for a little understanding."
~ Robert Brault ~

"What do you do?" seems rather a weak question.
And it's not much fun to answer either.
Surely we can think of something better to ask when we meet people for the first time.

I am curious about who you are more than what occupies your time. 

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

SOMETIMES

"A new broom sweeps clean but the old broom knows the corners."
~ Irish Saying ~

Sometimes life requires that we tidy up after other people,
And sometimes it requires that we tidy up after ourselves.  
And neat alone is not enough. 
It needs to be clean as well. 
Without that,
Things in the environment go to chaos pretty quickly,
And feel rather a mess.

I keep things neat and clean. 

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

NEW CHAPTERS

"To decide is to walk facing forward with nary a crick in your neck from looking back at the crossroads."
~ Betsy Garmon ~

When we choose something, we don't have to explain our choice,
or justify it to ourselves or others,
Or feel guilt.
Choice is simple:
We choose what we choose because
That's what we choose. 
And others may understand and approve,
Or they may not. 

I live by my choices, and experience what I choose.


Monday, October 12, 2020

HANDKERCHIEFS

"Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says inspires one or the other."
~ Joseph Joubert ~

My Dad never really seemed to approve of me,
And some of my choices made him angry
And withdraw.
Over and over we missed each other, basically,
But even as a girl, I felt a kind of intimacy with him when I explored his
Drawer of handkerchiefs and cufflinks,
And when he died,
They became mine.

The handkerchiefs are soft and white, and have his initials embroidered on them,
And through this pandemic,
their soft cotton has soothed me,
serving as my mask. 

The exchange of love we experience is both subtle and profound. 


Thursday, October 8, 2020

SACRED SPACE

"The Salvation Army always stands ready to relieve us of superfluous effects."
~ Emily Tolman ~

What is sacred space?
It's space that's internal as well as external,
Space that's honored,
And revered,
With no junk,

I stay mindful of the beautiful nature of who I am. 


Wednesday, October 7, 2020

IT IS WHAT IT IS

"It's ok to be who you are."
~ Ann Kite ~

Sometimes all we can do is show up.

Our best effort on any given day is good enough. 

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

THE DIVINE DESIGN

"Fate laughs at probabilities."
~  Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton ~

Ever had a plan that didn't play out?
That's what's supposed to happen.
And it will happen again.
We are carried through life far more than we realize,
Moved by inspiration more than intention,
Always knowing what we need to know exactly when we need to know it.
And being re-directed and shifted as divinely designed.

I trust the universal flow.


Monday, October 5, 2020

PLENTY TO DO

"To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart."
~ Thomas Watson Sr ~

There's plenty to do in life.
Maintenance. Maintenance. Maintenance.
And creativity, and work, and exercise, and relaxation, and meals, and fun.
And whenever we are at a loss,
And not sure what to do,
As my friend's grandmother used to tell her,
We can always 
Clean up our room. 

I enjoy the never ending action of living life.

Sunday, October 4, 2020

THE TENDENCY TO OVER-FILL

"Freedom is hiding under the clutter."
~ Terri Guillemets ~

It's likely that we under-value spaciousness in our lives.
We cram things into drawers and closets.
We over-fill our bellies, and 
We stuff our minds with information
And fearful thoughts.

In spaciousness is ease,
And relief,
And breathing room.
Whether in our homes or in our bodies,
Let's make an effort
To clear out some space!

I appreciate the benefits of spaciousness.

Thursday, October 1, 2020

THIS AND THAT

"Life's messy. Clean it up"
~ Bissell Inc Trademark ~

I like things in order- 
Clear,
Delineated,
This,
or
That.
But so often- maybe even most of the time,
It's this and that,
Everything all mixed up together,
And the only way out
Is through.

I accept chaos when it comes.

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

ALL AT ONCE

"Be ye therefore 'eloquent listeners.'" 
~ James Lendall Basford ~

If we can interact with others without an agenda,
And just be curious,
Genuinely curious,
About what it's like to be them, 
Then our connection exists at the level of authenticity,
And is vibrant and fresh
And relaxing
And solid
And loving
All at once. 

I listen, and in so doing, am somehow heard. 

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

MANAGING THE BEAST

"All sorrows are less with bread."
~ Miguel de Cervantes ~

When life requires an extra amount of effort,
Whether emotionally or physically,
Time careens us forward 
And we can inadvertently 
Go too long without eating,
And suddenly find ourselves a bit desperate,
And anxious,
And mis-emotional.
Food will fix it, but
It's so much better to not let it get that far.

I take care to eat at regular intervals, no matter what. 

Monday, September 28, 2020

THE ULTIMATE GIFT

"There is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers."
~ Seneca ~

Though we might not always see and experience it this way,
The truth is that freedom, above all, is a gift. 
It's not something we can earn,
Or achieve.
It's something we are given, often without even realizing it,
Something we have to open
To receive.

I am grateful. 

Sunday, September 27, 2020

PITCH DARKNESS

"When you possess light within, you see it externally."
~ Anais Nin ~

Sometimes life feels like we're standing
In a cave in the pitch dark
And can't see anything at all-
Not even our hand in front of us-
And we have to take a step.
It requires blind (literally) 
Trust.
And we may have to grope and stumble for a bit,
But eventually....
Eventually,
We will see some kind of light somewhere
And be able 
to move 
in its direction.

I trust the light. 

Thursday, September 24, 2020

STICKING SEEDS

"People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them." 
~ George Bernard Shaw~ 

I bought some lovely ornamental grass for the garden today, and when I loaded it into the car, I noticed that it shed its fluffy ends some. And when I unloaded it, I realized that the seeds were all over. They were stuck to a towel, and the floor rug, and the seat, and there was no blowing or shaking them out. They were lodged fast. I considered if that's what it did in my car, it would likely do that in the earth, so if these seeds were fertile, I may have just bought myself an invasive nightmare. 

I googled it to confirm, and yes indeed. There, online, were folks like me who had brought it home and planted it and now it was everywhere and impossible to control.

So-

I won't be planting this grass.

And I will remember the lesson, and notice all the ways it applies to life.

I watch for unwanted spreading of all kinds, and take care to stop it fast.


Wednesday, September 23, 2020

POSSIBILITY MEETS THE MIRACULOUS

"Things are only impossible until they're not."
~ Jean-Luc Picard ~

There are things we know,
And things that we know we don't know.
And then there is a whole other realm of 
Things that we don't know we don't know.
And that's where possibility meets the miraculous,
And synchronicity happens,
And all the dreams we didn't even know we had
Come true.

I stop thinking I have all the answers, and open to divine mystery. 

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

THE BEST WE CAN DO IS GOOD ENOUGH

"I used to worry about what other people think of me until I realized, they don't."
~ Colloquial Saying ~

I have to be vigilant at night when I'm tired
That my thoughts don't turn on me
And make me second guess every decision I've made during the day.

I seem to have this built in anxiety around 
What other people think,
Or might think,
About what I've said or done,

The world does not turn according to my plans and decisions. 
I am both smaller and larger than I think. 

Monday, September 21, 2020

OVER AND OVER AGAIN

"Little fears love to walk on stilts."
~ Henry Stanley Haskins ~

Every time we're faced with a new uncertainty,
The same old fears tend to come up-
That it won't work out,
That we are doomed,
Or whatever our favorite fears may be... 

And the truth is that
Maybe it won't work out in the way that we hope,
But life has shown us 
Over and over and over again,
That whatever it is, we get through it,
And it always works out somehow
And no matter what,
We're ok. 

I stop feeding my fears and live free. 



Sunday, September 20, 2020

WELL-BEING AT THE DEEPEST LEVEL

"God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose. Take which you please- you can never have both."
~ RW Emerson ~

To be truly honest with ourselves and others takes courage
And trust.
It seems easier most of the time to pretend,
Or deny,
But in the long run,
And at the level of our 
Soul's well-being,
It's not. 

I have the courage to speak my truth.

Thursday, September 17, 2020

MENTAL TRICKERY

"Watch it unfold live."
~Evan I. Schwartz ~

It goes both ways:
Sometimes we sweeten things in our minds in anticipation,
And when they actually happen, 
we feel jolted, 
and let down;
Or,
We expect the worst,
And end up delighted instead.
So what's the message?

Be the observer of it all.

I am the unassociated witness of life happening. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

WIPED OUT

"The vision must be followed by the venture."
~ Vance Havner ~

In some ways, mental activity can be more draining than physical activity,
And it doesn't feel as honest somehow,
Or as clean.

I balance figuring things out with moving my body. Otherwise, I go stale. 

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

HELP COMES

"We are all benefactors and beneficiaries, dependent upon each other."
~ James Lendall Basford ~

Help comes-
Not in the way we hope for,
Or expect,
But nonetheless.

We are stuck,
And can't see our way forward.
Someone shines a light
In the opposite direction
From where we were looking
And shows us that actually,
We're not stuck at all.

What freedom 
In knowing
That helps comes.

When we need it,
It comes. 

I breathe and relax and know that all is well. 


Monday, September 14, 2020

THE JOURNEY OF MOODS

"I will wear my heart upon my sleeve."
~ William Shakespeare ~

Sadness.
Anger.
Worry.
Trust.
Peace. 

Emotions rise and fall in me like the tides. 

Sunday, September 13, 2020

NO MATTER WHAT

"We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.'
~ Marianne Williamson ~

No matter what we may have survived, 
or witnessed, 
or been ashamed of, 
We are not some tragic, cautionary tale.
We don't need to shrink and be afraid. 

We are pure, divine power experiencing manifest life, 
and we would do well to remember that 
as we go about our daily business.

I stand in my power. 

Thursday, September 10, 2020

BEING AWARE

"Love. The indigenous nature of the soul."
~ Morris Hyman ~

Even after something has been created,
If it has been created with love,
The love lingers.
It can be felt.

Love leaves footsteps and fingerprints wherever it goes.

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

WALKING THE ROAD

"Life is the game that must be played."
~ Edwin Arlington Robinson ~

When facing complexities and seeming impossibilities
in the world
and in our lives,
There's nothing for it but to 
move forward
one little bit at a time;
to pause if we need to,
to stop if we must,
but to pick up the road again
when we're rested,
and take a small step,
and then another...
And that's the way it goes.
forever and ever,
Amen. 

I keep on keeping on.

Monday, September 7, 2020

BEAUTY FROM THE SOURCE

"A morning glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books."
~ Walt Whitman ~

I love candles 
and flowers.
Each so simple,
and so profound.
They change a space and make it sacred
And beautiful
And bright
And alive. 

I fill my environment with color and light.

Sunday, September 6, 2020

DECISION BY INSTINCT

"Instinct is untaught ability."
~ Alexander Bain ~

More often than not, 
when a decision has to be made, 
we actually know what our choice is going to be intuitively before we choose it.
Sometimes, however, 
in spite of our knowing, 
we talk ourselves in to an alternative option for logic's sake, 
or some other mental reasoning.
And inevitably, 
when we go that route, 
we pay for it.

I trust my intuitive knowing.

Thursday, September 3, 2020

THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

"My back is broken by the conflict of my thoughts."
~ Rumi ~

I imagine most of us have had the experience of 
waking up in the middle of the night 
with a "figure it all out right now" kind of mindset. 
I've had a few of those lately... 
and the other night, 
in particular, 
I felt overwhelmed with the thought that, "There's so much happening!" 
Which was followed immediately by the thought that's there's actually nothing happening.
I'm just lying here in my bed in the middle of the night
With the ceiling fan flapping away overhead.

I stay in the moment and breathe. 

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

THE RECIPE

"You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces- just good from fresh ingredients."
~ Julia Child ~

Life is cumulative.
We start raw and experience tenderizes us,
And the input of our community
Marinates us,
And clarity emerging out of chaos
Slow cooks us until
We become a delicacy.

And then begin raw 
yet again. 

I become deliciously sweet and savory through the slow process of life in small bits.

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

THE SHIFTING EXPERIENCE

"The fact that life is a grind is what sharpens many a man's wits."
~ Boston Transcript ~

As children, we like puzzles and riddles and things we can't figure out.
They're FUN!
So why, when we become adults,
Do we shift,
And experience puzzles as problems,
And grind our teeth over them,
And sweat nervously,
And fret?

I look at problems as challenges, and enjoy the process of seeking solutions. 

Monday, August 31, 2020

KEEPING QUIET

"If I had to do it again, I'd ask more questions and interrupt fewer answers."
~ Robert Brault ~

Opinions are endless, prejudiced, eagerly offered, and generally
Not very helpful.
They reflect a personal,
Limited perspective. 
Sharing personal experience,
On the other hand,
Tends to land more gently,
but even then... 
It's not always appreciated.
Perhaps we might learn to
Keep quiet,
To watch,
To be aware of our inner desire
To know it all,
And fix it,
And puff out our chests and be 
Important....
And simply 
Listen instead. 

Sometimes silence is the most generous offering of all. 

Sunday, August 30, 2020

CARE TAKING

"The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play."
~ Arnold Toynbee ~

One of the things that I love about gardens is that they evolve with age-
They mature.
Houses and fences and foundations and paint,
On the other hand,
Deteriorate.
Both, however, suffer over time 
without regular maintenance.
Gardens choke with overgrowth
And structures collapse.

Maintenance is the key to longevity. 

Thursday, August 27, 2020

THE MONKEY TRAP

"Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped."
~ African Proverb ~


There's a story about a monkey trap.
The trap is a hollow coconut with a rope tied to one end,

A hole at the other end,
And a banana inside.
The monkey sees the banana and reaches in for it.
His hand slips easily through the hole.
But when he grabs the banana and wants to pull it out,
His fist won't fit,
And he's trapped...
Unless he's smart enough to let go.

I relax my grip on things. 

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

EMPATHY

"There is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all of one's life- reciprocity."
~ Confucius ~

Empathy is a skill lacking some in most of us.
We tend to be so consumed with our own sense of righteous indignation
That we are incapable of considering what it might be like for someone else,
And this is a sadness,
Because it makes us miss the exchange journey of the human heart.

I catch myself being consumed with my personal perspective and flip the script. 

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

LIFTED LIKE A FEATHER

"The truth is simple."
~ Mooji ~

When we stop anxiously trying to control outcomes and give ourselves over to the process at hand, we will be carried- by people, by serendipitous happenings, and by the calling of our own inner knowing. It's uncanny how it works. The minute we let go and relax, rather than crashing in a pile on the ground, we are lifted like a feather into the beautiful journey of the unknown.

I surrender. 

Monday, August 24, 2020

LIFE CHANGES

"My head is bursting with the joy of the unknown."
~ Rumi ~

Life changes.
And life changes us.

I'm living the journey.