Thursday, April 2, 2020


"Time is like the wind, it lifts the light and leaves the heavy."
~ Domenico Cieri Estrada ~

The day starts fresh and bright,
and like the morning,
I feel new, ready for anything.
The afternoon is sweet
and stretching.
And then, evening comes,
And my energy drains with the light.

I cycle through the hours, then gratefully, rest. 

Wednesday, April 1, 2020


"The mind of man is often like a house of which he is the landlord; 
bad tenants are more easily admitted than removed."
~ James Lendall Basford ~

If we can quiet our minds, 
at the very least, 
stop identifying with the stories that our thoughts create, 
then we have a chance at peace.
And if we cannot,
at their mercy.

I let thoughts pass across the screen of my mind like clouds in the sky. 

Tuesday, March 31, 2020


"Don't think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. It's quiet, but the roots are down there riotous."
~ Rumi ~

Virtual reality has its limits. Interacting with people online is better than not interacting at all, for sure, but nonetheless, misses all the beautiful subtleties of expression and body language, and the smooth flow of conversation. Zoom calls can be choppy and jarring.
     And so, while I'm grateful for online meetings, and classes, and the opportunity to connect, I miss being together live.

I gracefully accept that this is a time of limited access.

Monday, March 30, 2020


"How strange is this combination of proximity and separation. 
That ground- seconds away- thousands of miles away."
~ Charles A. Lindbergh ~

Due to a new state order prohibiting public gatherings until June 10th, 
We have no choice but to postpone my daughter's wedding- 
The one we have been planning for over a year. 
What a strange new world we are living in.

I stay conscious, and remain flexible.

Sunday, March 29, 2020


"Linger not in your sorrows. You do not belong there."
~ Dodinsky ~

Quite a few of the small trees I transplanted have died and needed to be pulled up, and after carefully and thoroughly spreading grass seed and straw over the weekend, wind came and lustily blew the straw out of order so it was a race to get it wet and held in place before the next sweeping gust came. Both of these are examples of life happening in the face of my best plans, and neither particularly easy to take, and yet, there they are and what can be done?

     Learning to travel with the cosmic flow is good medicine for all of life's little road blocks and re- directions. 

Thursday, March 26, 2020


"'Tis the great art of life to manage well the restless mind."
~ John Armstrong ~

The nature of mind is fickle, and fearful.
It worries and frets.
It gnaws at us obsessively.
is noisy and nosey,
Its favorite activity is to dangle juicy thoughts in front of us
in the hope that it will 
hook us like bait. 

I watch the play of my mind with detached amusement.

Wednesday, March 25, 2020


"If you must be in a hurry, then let it be according to the old adage, and hasten slowly."
~ Saint Vincent de Paul ~

We need just the right amount of stimulation to satisfy our sense of curiosity.
More than that stresses us out. 

"More" is generally not the answer. 
I slow down and appreciate the details of the moment. 

Tuesday, March 24, 2020


"My little dog- a heartbeat at my feet."
~ Edith Wharron ~

There is an unquestionable up and down and around pattern to the life of our new puppy. He's busy and playful and curious, and then he sleeps hard. And then he wakes slowly, and ventures out a little and then a little further, and then he's playful and curious again- at times reckless, at times uncertain and drawing back for love and comfort, at times hungry, thirsty, bold, lazy... He cycles through the whole range.
     And we do too, really, though perhaps we may be less authentic about it than Tank. We pretend to be steady and stable and immovable and sure, while inside we are as fickle as he is, and as needing of occasional reassurance, adventure, and grounded love.

I allow myself to be puppy-like, and experience the joys and curiosities of each day

Monday, March 23, 2020


"You will purchase the map,
Only to find you are already Here."
~ Mooji ~

In this unsettling time
With so much uncertainty
And fear,
It's easy to get trapped in 
Mentally punishing stories and scenarios,
That are unlikely to ever play out as we imagine them.

Let's get in touch instead
With that which doesn't change,
Is never unsettled,
And cannot get sick, or die. 
There is that in us.
It's there.
It's here.

Let's use this pandemic 
To find it,
And wake up to who we really are. 

There is that in me which witnesses what's happening and is quiet and at peace. 

Sunday, March 22, 2020


"Set out from any point. They are all alike. They all lead to a point of departure."
~ Antonio Porchia ~

Whenever things get tipped on their head, the way our whole world has recently, the result is a shift in perspective. We see things we couldn't see before, and opportunities that didn't exist, suddenly do. Even as we're hunkered down at home, creative online horizons expand before us, and opportunities for connecting with others in new ways arise.

I am curious about new developments among us, even as we're challenged, and unsure. 

Thursday, March 19, 2020


"Be empty of worrying.... step outside the tangle of fear thinking."
~ Rumi ~

There is uncertainty on both sides when a relationship of any kind begins- 
a desire to trust, and a concern that perhaps, 
trust may not be advisable. 
Something could happen.
Something could go wrong.
And we want to protect our hearts.
And be savvy, 
And be able to say we have done our due diligence,
And considered every side.
And yet, if the relationship is destined to be a good one, 
At some point, 
we must stop caring about protecting ourselves,
and stop worrying about what could happen,
and step into the love fully,
Exactly as it is in the moment,
Right here, and
Right now.

I commit my love and trust to what's happening now. 

Wednesday, March 18, 2020


"We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us."
~ Bill Wilson ~

Our new pup is coming home and we are open to the adventure of loving him.
And we can live life that way also-
Trusting that it will be delicious
in its own challenging and sometimes difficult
Kind of way... 

I open my heart to the living experience. 

Tuesday, March 17, 2020


"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle."
~ Ben Franklin ~

When my ego wants to act out, I find myself at its mercy. 
It whips me about mentally and emotionally like I'm a fish on a line, 
and I don't like it. 
I resist and try to force it away with angst and willpower. 
But meeting power with power this way results in a tug of war. 

Relief comes only when I am able to stand back and detach.

I watch with curiosity as my ego seeks to tie me up in knots. 

Monday, March 16, 2020


"Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others."
~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~

In the current environment, fear is as contagious as the virus itself.
And we have some control there,
As to whether we spread it or not.

I breathe and trust and smile and breathe again. 

Sunday, March 15, 2020


"Faith is the bird that sings to the dawn while it is still dark."
~ R. Tagore ~

It saddens me that the Corona Virus self-protection impetus is making us weary of others, 
and afraid to shake hands, 
or gather,
or hug. 
We need each other. 
Even if we choose not to touch physically, 
Let's still find ways to connect.

I care about people, and show up for them no matter what. 

Thursday, March 12, 2020


"Open up and turn toward the light."
~ Jim Carrey ~

The sun is delicious, especially on a chilly day.
I feel like a plant, soaking it up.
It warms my roots, and makes me bloom.

I allow the sun to feed me. 

Wednesday, March 11, 2020


"Life turns on a dime."
~ Stephen King ~

The weather is beautifully and endlessly changeable, and sometimes many ways in one day. It can go from rain to sun to wind. Temperatures can drop swiftly, rise sharply; fog can settle in. The dynamic nature of clouds and light and everything that comes and goes is a refreshing reminder about life itself: that nothing is here to stay- no circumstance, or mood, or injury, or hardship. Emotions and physical sensations rise and fall like the tides, and we watch them and bear witness. The only thing that remains the same is the place we are watching from.

Everything changes except the truth of who I am. 

Tuesday, March 10, 2020


"If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that indicate something about your size?"
~ Sydney J. Harris ~

Resentments are a story from the past that we drag around with us like a ball and chain
While the person we're resentful towards is usually oblivious,
And free. 

I drop my grudges like a hot pan. 

Monday, March 9, 2020


"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it."
~ American Saying ~

Living in alignment with our true selves, 
No matter what seeming obstacles or difficulties may come our way,
A path will open,
And we will be shown the way through. 

I trust in life's unfolding journey. 

Sunday, March 8, 2020


"In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing."
~ Robert Ingersoll ~

The emotional pain of the loss of our German Shepherd, Boss, in December, has largely eased into the background as a kind of soft glowing memory... until we committed to a puppy the other day. Excitement over the pup has newly awakened the pang of our great friend's going, and disturbed us with tickling feelings of betrayal.
     To be clear, we are not replacing Boss- he is completely irreplaceable. We are simply stepping forward into a new relationship inspired by time and need, with a lively little ball of fluff we have named Tank.

There is no stopping the living drive. I embrace it, and move on. 

Thursday, March 5, 2020


"Pull another hand into the light."
~ Norman B. Rice ~

We are all out to make a difference and save the world, but maybe the world doesn't need saving in the way we think it does. 
Maybe what it really needs is discovery, anew.

Perhaps earth is actually heaven, and heaven, earth.

Wednesday, March 4, 2020


"I exist as I am, that is enough."
~ Walt Whitman ~

The messages of modern culture encourage action and speed and intensity- 
"Do more! Be more! Get to work! Lose weight! Have fun! Exercise! Multi-task!
Be your best self!"
These urges come from all sides, 
even from inside ourselves, 
and the core message is that 
as we are, 
we are not enough. 
And this message breeds suffering in the world.

Let's shift the urge.

Let's slow down,
Look around, 
Discover our true nature, 
Stop exhausting ourselves trying to be somebody, 
And experience life 
exactly as we are.

I am complete and whole.

Tuesday, March 3, 2020


"Earth's tribulations diminish in proportion to the elevation of our souls."
~ James Lendall Basford ~

There is a way through even the most challenging and seemingly horrific situations. 
It is sprinkled with Grace 
and the most unlikely of angels.

I stay tuned and the path unfolds.

Monday, March 2, 2020


"Silence is as deep as eternity; speech, shallow as time."
~ Thomas Carlyle ~

Much as I am a wordsmith, 
I do understand and appreciate 
that words can sometimes cheapen an experience. 
In such cases, 
our eyes speak, 
and the silence.

There are times when nothing need be said.

Sunday, March 1, 2020


"Truth only reveals itself when one gives up all preconceived ideas."
~ Shoseki ~

We can be 100% certain about something and 100% wrong at the same time. 
Think of the implication of this! 
All of us running around acting on false beliefs, 
insisting on facts that aren't accurate, 
certain other people don't know what they might actually know... 
It's not exactly a recipe for healthy relating. 
We might do better to 
remain open to alternate possibilities,
and acknowledge the fact
that our vision may be limited
and short. 

Even though I feel sure, I may still be wrong. 

Thursday, February 27, 2020


"She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along."
~ Margaret Culkin Banning ~

Once a mother, always a mother-
The instinct for protecting our young is inbred,
No matter how old our young ones may be. 
And so, we must learn to check ourselves,
and leave them to it,
And trust in their journey,
and let them live free. 

I observe and appreciate the desire I have to protect my children, and am also honest about the fact that as they mature, they become readily able to protect themselves. 

Wednesday, February 26, 2020


"The waste of life occasioned by trying to do too many things at once is appalling."
~ Terri Guillemets ~

Rushing happens when we try to fit more activity in than time will comfortably allow. We push boundaries. We create an inward tension to sneak the extra bit in when we know on some level that we would do better to leave it for another time. 
Why do we do this to ourselves? 
And what makes it so hard to stop?

I spare myself the tension of overdoing.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020


"Who is wise? He that learns from everyone."
~ Ben Franklin ~

Watching people is good meditation and good medicine- 
not with judgment, 
but with simple open curiosity- 
just looking to see- 
what's there? 
How do they move?
With ease? With pain? With a hitch?
Are they rushing?
Do they seem happy, preoccupied, distressed?
We can see it all when we're looking.
Because however they are
And wherever they're rushing to,
Chances are,
We've been there.
So in this way,
Watching people
Reminds us of our connection
to the whole human race.

I am one of many, and in so many ways, we are all as one.

Monday, February 24, 2020


"Relationship is an art."
~ Don Miguel Ruiz ~

It's a supreme delight to be sitting in a relaxed way talking with someone, finding out things about their lives that we didn't previously know, and sharing tidbits from our own history. It's affirming, connecting, and enjoyable. We are so busy, and so self-absorbed, that we seldom visit with people just to visit. Country folks know about this. And the rest of us miss out for not knowing. 

I take the time to take an interest in the people I encounter. 

Sunday, February 23, 2020


"A secret freedom opens through a crevice you can barely see."
~ Rumi ~

I am the space in which all sights and sounds and experiences rise up and fall away.
I witness the comings and goings and do not attach to them. 
I am pure awareness and supreme stillness; a portal; divine.
I am limitless.
I am timeless.
I am largely unknown but I am not unknowable.
Who am I?

I am. 

Thursday, February 20, 2020


"It was the straw that broke the camel's back."
~ Proverb ~

I have been using a chainsaw for five days to cut up trees, 
and generally speaking, 
it's not the massive trunks that bind the saw. 
They are difficult to manage, 
to be sure, 
but fairly straightforward and predictable nonetheless. 
It's the smaller branches, 
and the shoots.
They hook me up every time.
I expect them to tighten up one way and they 
tighten up in the opposite direction instead.
And isn't life like that as well?
We get through the big stuff
and get stuck
and fall apart
when faced with the seemingly innocuous thing. 

I take nothing for granted.

Wednesday, February 19, 2020


"The task without illumination... eats at life (and) leaves one insensate, save to weariness."
~ Muriel Strode ~

Ever tried to hammer with a rock, or tape something that needs gluing, or spread butter with a spoon?
For lack of availability or effort, we ineffectively wrestle with the task at hand. 
Having the right tool makes all the difference. 

I take the time to gather what I need for the job ahead. 

Tuesday, February 18, 2020


"In letting go, we surrender the weight of our burdens and find the lightness of being."
~ Daphne Rose Kingma ~

Responding to life however it shows up often serves us better than plans do. 
Our plans are so often detoured and derailed,
and because we are invested in them, 
we feel disappointed when they don't play out.
But being curious and alive to whatever comes
and whatever goes
is rather restful really,
and somehow soothes
the surrendered soul.

I am ok with the day however it unfolds. 

Monday, February 17, 2020


"up with joy!"
ee cummings

Watching a baby calf can't help but make you smile. One day old and already they leap a bit on their new legs, happily, just for the joy and delight of it. The Moms are big and solid and steady and the little calves just bounce around them. We can feel their joy viscerally as our own experience. It transfers directly to our hearts.

I experience the joy of others as my own. 

Sunday, February 16, 2020


"To labor is to pray."
~ Motto of the Benedictines ~

The tree project for this week is not about planting little trees but about clearing big ones to make a pasture for cattle. Gruff (my husband) is on the excavator pulling them out whole- stumps included, our friend Eulugio is running the tractor with a grapple on it to move the downed trees into piles for fence posts, sawmill timber, and the burn pile, and I'm on the ground with a chainsaw.
     Every feature of the job is incredible, truly, and I am pleased and awed by the power of our partnership and the ability we have harnessed to be able to change the landscape with such relative ease.

What do you want to move, and who and what can help you do it? 

Thursday, February 13, 2020


"Who, being loved, is poor?"
~ Oscar Wilde

Hearts, candy, flowers, cards, gifts, romance-
Little doileys and classroom delivery systems...
(Remember sending Valentine's to each other when we were kids?)
A day of acknowledgement
(I see you!)
And thank you-
For being there,
So I can love you.

I recognize the people I love today and every day!

Wednesday, February 12, 2020


"Dare to be honest and fear no labor."
~ Robert Burns ~

To be inspired is to be set on fire
in a warming,
ember glowing kind of way:
Alive from the inside
And ready to go.

Excitement makes my blood tingle like bubbles in a glass of champagne. 

Tuesday, February 11, 2020


"Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. 
We give it orders which make no sense."
~ Henry Miller ~

It's easy to think we have control over our health, and that others do as well, and to some limited extent, that's true, but less, perhaps, than we might like to think. Even as I write this, energy within me strongly resists the idea. 
I WANT to have control, because that gives me power, 
and the ultimate conceptual ability to defy death in some way, 
but that, 
of course, 
is the biggest sham of all. 
     I believe in the body mind connection, and I believe in metaphysical causes for physical ailments, and I believe in holistic healing, 
until these things don't work, 
which does happen sometimes. 
Sometimes, sickness and imbalance and injury just come...
     I want to place blame and find solutions, and so do we all it seems, as everyone out there is 
ready and able to tell us what we need 
to do 
or take 
or find 
and what will absolutely work.... 
what has worked for them.
But really?
Who makes our heart beat?
Who heals our cuts?
And who manages the five hundred plus functions of our liver?
Is that us?
Or some force beyond the beyond
That has gifted us our body in the first place?

I surrender to my body's knowing.

Monday, February 10, 2020


"As advertising blather becomes the nation's normal idiom, language becomes printed noise."
~ George Will ~

Surveys seem to be the new thing in marketing, and yet, I'm skeptical. Do companies really care how we respond, or are they just looking to entrap us into future advertising categories with whatever preferences we state? It feels invasive, not every time, but many times, to want our feedback, and almost every organization we interact with these days follows up with these annoying "How did we do?" questions. And if we ignore them, they ask again, and again, almost demandingly, as if we somehow owe them our time. But we don't. That's something that must be earned through trust. 

I am cautious around over-eager and invasive surveys.

Sunday, February 9, 2020


"I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes."
~ Sarah Teasdale ~

Runoff rain water has to have a pathway or it will take out whatever it encounters in a gushing rush. 
And perhaps the things we let go of also have to have a pathway, 
Or they will destroy the landscape,
or puddle up around us like a shower without a drain. 
So what's the pathway?
I guess that's up to us.

I envision what I let go of evaporating entirely, or dissolving in smoke and flames. 

Thursday, February 6, 2020


"The tides are in our veins."
~ Robinson Jeffers ~

When we're in the right head space, we can find pleasure and comfort in any experience. 

I calmly cruise the river of life. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2020


"Anything simple always interests me."
~ David Hockney ~

My trees have attracted attention, comments, suggestions, and concerns: lot's of "Do I realize?" and "Am I aware?" kinds of inquiries- that they will need water in the summer, that there may have been a better way to plant them, that they are too close to the road, and that they will grow! And yes, and yes again. As mentioned in my last blog on the topic, this is a project and a partnership that will be ongoing and require care and adjustment. What's curious is how much people seem invested in giving them meaning and import and the power to shame. They're just a bunch of little trees.

Opinions are a dime a dozen and cloud the simplicity of truth. 

Tuesday, February 4, 2020


"Always remember lost, so that you don't take for grated found."
~ Terri Guillemets ~

We can pick up negative energy such that it pollutes us, 
and it's no small work to break back into clarity and freedom, both hard won. 
So we would do best to be vigilant, 
and wise 
when we step, 
when we choose, 
when we navigate the internet, 
and when we move about in the world.

I conscientiously protect my inner state of grace.

Monday, February 3, 2020


"The powerful play goes on."
~ Walt Whitman ~

I have believed, in this lifetime, that anything worth having must be earned, and that the intensity of the struggle I go through somehow justifies the resulting prize, so I have struggled with a sense of nobility and import.
     And now, I see that I don't have to struggle at all. It's something I have imposed upon myself with my mind, and not the way things really are. Without any extreme effort on my part, the blessings in my life and the gifts I receive are beyond- far beyond- my most enthusiastic intentions and well exceed my wildest dreams.

Everything I want I have already.

Sunday, February 2, 2020


"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it."
~ George Moore ~

We are born as unconditioned possibility and pure consciousness- a field of awareness and sensation. 
And then we are given a name,
and exposed to the prejudices and opinions of the people around us.
Layers of likes and dislikes and 
self-defining features
are added to us.
The original empty awareness becomes clouded by them,
and we learn to identify so strongly with all that has been added that
we forget who we are at core.

If we can remember,
If we can discover the one who has been added to,
then we will find our
Untouchable state of peace.

I uncover my true self under layers and layers of opinions and attachment. 

Thursday, January 30, 2020


"Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes along."
~ Samuel Butler ~

The echo of a traumatic experience reverberates through our soul and our cells like a vibrating drum. 
It rattles and pounds.
The song of it moves through us, 
And we do better to let it move, 
And sway, 
And create rhythm,
Than to resist it and
want it to hush. 

I allow experience to make its trail through me. 

Wednesday, January 29, 2020


"You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit."
~ Mia ~ 

There's no real way to gear up for something coming- physically maybe- but not emotionally, not psychically, not spiritually. We can't know, in advance, how an event might open or close something within us; how it might test us, or reward us, or elevate us, or sink us, so anticipation has its limits. The best we can do is show up and commit to being awake and aware as we go through the experience. 

I surrender to the journey, wherever it may lead. 

Tuesday, January 28, 2020


"To the extent that we can discover our own unique balance, we are whole... and once whole, we can truly dance like the free spirits we are."
~ Garri Garripoli ~

My personality has many aspects: childlike, fearful, loving, creative, spiritual, leader-oriented, student-oriented, independent, natural, technological, courageous, cautious, insightful, and blind. And, though it might appear that all of these facets make me divided within, on the contrary, they make me whole.

All the elements of life itself exist inside my being.

Monday, January 27, 2020


"Having too many things about us is a certain confusion..."
~ Oscar C. McCullouch ~

We have a magnet on our refrigerator advertising a self-storage facility 
and it says, 
"A place for space." 
I have always liked that. 
It seems relevant, 
and like something each of us, 
in a slightly different context, 

I unclutter my inner being and allow for spaciousness within. 

Sunday, January 26, 2020


"Treat the patient."
~ James M. Hunter ~

My son, Nick, is having 
a surgical procedure when the day dawns-
a piece of his top right rib
Fairly straightforward
we are told,
And still we arrive unsure,
and ask for blessings.
And even in the best case scenario
there is still the hospital experience
or two.
And coming to after general anesthesia
and body pain
and shock.
No matter how you look at it,
Recovery comes at a cost.

I am willing to experience whatever there is to experience.

Thursday, January 23, 2020


"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."
~ Grandma Moses ~

Things happen in life and we give them significance, 
create an internal narrative, 
usually in such a way that our egos come out as heroes, 
or victims. 
And creating all this meaning around events is exhausting.

I remember when my twins were little and learned the word, 
Whatever they thought of or saw: 
"Why, Mommy?" 
And, being an industrious, eager new mother, 
I would answer their questions to the best of my ability, 
in response to which they would say, 
Today, the best response to "Why?" I know is that 
there is no why, 
there just is.

Creating meaning out of every little life happening is exhausting and unnecessary.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020


"Do not grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form."
~ Rumi ~

To be brought to our knees is not necessarily a bad thing. 
Learning surrender may be the most powerful learning there is.

I relax, trust, and let go. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2020


"Gazing into the lamp of emotional attachment, we are burnt, like moths in a flame."
~ Sri Guru Granth Sahib ~

Fear is an apparition, and maybe so is desire. 
They are not unlike each other. 
The one pushes us away and 
the other pulls us to it, 
but both effects are future driven 
involve us in a tug-of-war.

I need not be jolted about by attachments. 
I choose to live free. 

Monday, January 20, 2020


"Practice compassion."
~ Dalai Lama ~

Balance is compassion in a way. It's understanding and appreciating two seemingly opposed influences, and bringing them to a space where unity is possible. We tend to prefer skewed thinking- all one way or the other. But to maintain balance is far more interesting, and better pleasing to the senses. Think of a seesaw: to keep both ends suspended is a flowing ride of give and take, and to lose the opposition is to thud uncomfortably to the ground.

I maintain equilibrium by owning the opposites that exist in me and in the world. 

Sunday, January 19, 2020


"There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth."
~ Rumi ~

When we are able to be present enough, we can easily see all the ways we are fortunate and graced by beauty and goodness. 
And even if we can't see it, it's nonetheless true.

I look around and see. 

Thursday, January 16, 2020


"Nine men out of ten obsequiously follow the tenth man."
~ James Lendall Basford ~

There will always be voices in the world that will tell us our ideas won't work, that they are, in fact, bad ideas, or faulty ones. And less prevalent, but also available, are those who get excited with us, and tell us we have surely hit pay dirt.
     None of these external opinions, however, have access to our inner voice, which is the one that drives the idea, so the relevant question, in terms of our life satisfaction, is, which voice do we listen to, and which do we ignore?

Opinions of all kinds are cheap and spread like a virus. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2020


"There's no expiration date on the process."
~ Ildy Modrovich ~

I have transplanted 216 small dormant trees from the woods on our property to the roadside so that come spring, when they start to grow again, they might evolve into a lovely kind of privacy screen.  It's not been an easy job, nor a particularly enjoyable one, and I have been eager to get it done so I can move on to other projects. Today though, as I was nearing planting and staking completion, I understood clearly that the effort would not suddenly be over, and that what I have created is actually an ongoing partnership. Pruning, watering, re-staking- all of these will be required in the year to come, and maintenance and care for the trees' lifetimes, or my own.
     We like our check-off lists and no loose ends, but so much of what we engage in is a continuous process. It goes on, as we go on, and shifts, as we do, with the seasons and the day.

I stop aiming for things to be over and just let them be.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020


"Take a step in some direction."
~ Robert Brault ~

The massive cultural concept we all sell ourselves is that a point of arrival is not only possible, but desirable, and the self help industry gives us the steps to get there.
5 steps to happiness,
3 steps to financial freedom,
7 steps to success.
It's made to be simple- a guaranteed process: follow the plan and get the result.
But for all of us who have set out to achieve something and achieved it (in other words, all of us) we know that the achievement itself is just another step to somewhere else we're going entirely...
And more often than not, we don't even know where that is.
We're just on the steps.
So here's a concept for consideration: that much as we long for security and stability, we actually want things to change and to keep changing, because that's the direction and the urgent, uncomplicated business of life itself.
We keep pushing to get to some point where there's no stress and we have no problems and all is light and bubbles and happiness, but that's not life! That's death.
So as long as we're alive, we better get the point of it, and embrace the dynamic, rhythmic, changing, daily, nature of our feelings and our circumstances and our energy and our guts.

I embrace the changing nature of my life experience. 

Monday, January 13, 2020


"I contain multitudes."
~ Walt Whitman ~

Music, silence,
Morning, midnight, 
Sweet, savory, 
Hot, cold,

Sometimes I am tired and I can't sleep.
And sometimes I am happy and I weep.

Life is full of opposites and paradox. 

Sunday, January 12, 2020


"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher."
~ Thomas Henry Huxley ~

Plans help us get started, but they don't generally take us all the way home.
Energy moves in unexpected directions and if we're smart we'll ride the currents where they go.
I used to get upset when I had to deviate from my mission,
And feel like there was something wrong,
But now I understand about the unknown.
It claims it's place in every project,
And creates possibilities that otherwise
Couldn't exist.

I make plans and stay curious. I never know what may or may not play out.  

Thursday, January 9, 2020


"It's humbling to start fresh. It takes a lot of courage."
~ Jennifer Ritchie Payette ~

When we change something in a room- move a piece of furniture, hang a new picture on the wall- it changes the way everything else exists in relation to each other as well. There's a total environment shift. And isn't it the same when we make changes personally? Nothing is unaffected by the new dynamic, and nothing goes untouched.

I acknowledge that every action I take has a ripple effect. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2020


"The great business of life is to be, to do, to do without, and to depart."
~ John Viscount Morley ~

As it turns out, life is not about achievement.
And it's not about a smooth ride,
or pleasure,
or ease.
Life is about living, and that means 
All of it.
The ups, the downs,
The roundabouts,
And curly cues,
The deep dives,
the shallow shores,
the mist,
and the 

I live to experience life. 

Tuesday, January 7, 2020


"I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma."
~ Eartha Kitt ~

I believe we have a tendency to over-rate security, or, at the very least, to misunderstand it.
We aim for stability in finances, in relationships and in the things we own.
And yet, all of these are fluid, and as potentially changeable as the sky.
Our real security is where we cannot even properly perceive it-
It's in our ability to learn,
to adapt,
to heal,
and to forgive and start over as many times as we need to, 
And then again.

I trust my staying power. 

Monday, January 6, 2020


"Wellness is the art of healing before you're sick."
~ Terri Guillemets ~

When I am cold, usually in the evenings, I love heat- the heat of fireplaces and down covers; and when I am hot, usually in the mornings, I love cold. I sit outside and have breakfast wrapped in a blanket when it's 30 degrees outside.
     And almost anytime, I love the sun. It's more than warm. It's life giving energy, and grows me like a plant.

I seek the things that soothe me, and avoid the things that don't. 

Sunday, January 5, 2020


"Take interest in the things that are and are to be, and not in the things that were and are past."
~ Henry Ward Beecher ~

Into the New Year we plunge.
Will we be reckless?
Will we slow down? 
Speed up?
How will we characterize this time?
These days?
This winter and the coming spring?
Will we do what we've always done
Or make subtle changes
And wear life easier
And looser
Feel free?

I am curious about 2020. 

Thursday, January 2, 2020


"It is meat for the hungry, drink for the thirsty, heat for the cold, and cold for the hot.. It is the current coin that purchases all the pleasures of the world..."
~ Miguel de Cervantes ~

Sometimes life requires extra sleep. 

I honor my body's need to recover from experience. 

Wednesday, January 1, 2020


"Time marches on."
~ American Saying ~

Now we are past New Years, what's next?
Today, tomorrow, and then the next day.
And again.
And again.
We keep on getting up and doing our thing,
And the richness of life is not in Holidays,
but in all the little details
of each day,
and each moment of our lives.

I appreciate the little things.