2021

"The old year cracks under the burdensome weight of twelve heavy months, and the next year emerges fresh and anew from its shell."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

And so it begins.

What will we make of it?

In some ways I am powerless, and in other ways, my life is entirely up to me.

NEW YEAR'S EVE

"I have a fine lot of hopes here in my basket."

~ Nathanial Hawthorne ~

It's time to shake things up a bit!

Try new arrangements.

Try new mindsets.

Re-set tired programs.

Refresh what's raggedy.

Rejuvenate what's sagging.

Be alive again,

And bright!

Because

We are. 

I re-new myself today, and again tomorrow, and again the day after that. 

WONDERING

"The most decisive actions of our life... are most often unconsidered."

~ Andre Gide ~

I am afraid

And not afraid

Alone 

And not alone

Fired up

And exhausted to the core.

I am free

And bound

Water

And sound.

At the end-

The beginning-

And

Rooted in the ground.

The New Year is coming. What will it bring?

TODAY'S PARTICULAR KNOWING

"It is strange and wonderful what changes may be wrought by a few fleeting months."

~ Elizabeth J. Eames ~

We think we know,

And we live in the reality of that particular knowing.

And then a deeper truth is revealed

And our reality changes,

Again and

Again and

Again.

Life rolls me over.

THE AFTREMATH PRELUDE

"There is an order to all things, a pressure of progression... there is no halt, no turning back. Tomorrow rises in the east.."

~ Hal Borland ~

Here we are

Winding down one year

and

Winding up the next.

In this, 

the pause between holidays,

We find 

the quiet,

languid,

restful,

exhausted,

anticipatory

Hope.

I am here for the duration. 

SWEET SADNESS

"Remember

This December

That love weighs more than gold!"

~ Josephine D.D. Bacon ~

Christmas has come again.

Always the same.

Always different.

Hope and joy and beauty and lights.

Indulgence and expense and family dynamics.

Sweet.

Sad. 

Busy.

Lonely.

Chaotic.

Lively.

Festive.

Still.

I experience the many moods of Christmas.

BEGGING THE QUESTION

"I have grown old from being serious. "

~ Kamand Kojouri ~

Who wants to feel uncomfortable, unsure, or in pain?

Who wants to suffer emotionally?

None of us, 

which is why 

We are always seeking answers, solutions, and

Quick fixes.

And yet, we DO feel uncomfortable, 

we are unsure,

And pain comes.

So that begs the question,

How well do our solutions work?

Not very, seems to me...

Which begs the question,

Who's in charge here?

And the answer

Eludes us...

And on we go.

I surrender to the way that grace plays. 

LESS THAN WE THINK

"Relax a little bit. Give life a chance to flow its own way, unassisted by your mind and effort."

~Mooji ~

Whatever shows up,

We don't have to fix it.

We don't have to fear it.

We don't have to steer it.

It's just what shows up.

The truth is simple.

PRESENCE

"Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be."

~ Eckhart Tolle ~

The sweetness of life comes through when we are fully present,

Engaged in the moment,

With a quiet mind,

And all sensations

Fully awake. 

It's always there, but mostly, we miss it. 

FEELING ANXIOUS

"It came to pass."

(Appears 727 times in the King James Version of the Bible)

Anxiety is newly alive in my physiology,

Beating my heart,

Gulping my throat,

Tensing my muscles.

And much as I'd like it to depart,

It seems to have a will of its own,

So the best I can seem to do these days is to

Let it be there

And stop hating it, fighting it, fearing it, fueling it...

It's just a feeling-

A reeling feeling that comes

And comes

And comes,

And then, 

quietly,

goes...

Until it comes again. 

I take the dips and flips in stride.

THE JOURNEY

"People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day."

~ Winnie the Pooh ~

The journey feels long,

And hard.

But maybe it's not.

Maybe the place we are aiming for

is actually the

Place

We are aiming

From. 

I am open to the possibility that things may not be exactly how they seem. 

THE THINGS WE SHARE

"No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head."

~ Terry Josephson ~

We have disempowering stories that we tell ourselves,

And share with others. 

We enroll them in our sad tale.

It strengthens our case.

We feel empowered to be disempowered,

And it makes life a trudge.

But we're the one initiating the story!

And we can flip the script

Any time

We choose. 

I have the power to inspire or depress my experience. 

It all depends on what I say.

POWER

"Your arm's too short to box with God."

~ James Weldon Johnson ~

Our power lies not in our ability to 

manipulate people and situations in the manifest world, 

but within,

Where truth is,

And God,

And the Light.

Power isn't something that comes TO us.

It's the 

SOURCE

Out of which

All things 

Arise. 

I breathe, and breathe, and breathe again. 

THE PEACE WE SEEK

"I am that."

~ Nisargadatta Marahaj ~

Many things in the universe are out of our control,

Yet we think we can control them anyway-

People, circumstances, flooding rains, the future...

When we STOP trying to control the things we can't control anyway,

We experience relief,

And peace. 

And it's the same with enlightenment.

Beyond the surface noise of our egoic identity,

We are ALREADY enlightened,

But we don't know it.

We think it's something we have to work for,

Meditate to earn,

Achieve by struggle, 

Or grace. 

But enlightened being is WHO WE ARE.

Not knowing it doesn't change the fact.

When we realize this truth that is already true,

Just by seeing it...

We realize that

We ARE the peace we have been seeking.

The search is over.

We have been there all along. 

I am. 

THE PLAY OF GRACE

"All are but parts of one stupendous whole, whose body Nature is, and God the soul."

~ Alexander Pope ~

Some things in life happen as the result of great effort,

And others come easy, like a breeze on a hot day,

But in both situations, 

Grace has its play,

And we are guided and re-directed,

And stopped,

And stalled,

And released,

And rewarded,

And renewed,

Like trees through the seasons, and when they first bloom

in the spring.

We belong to the journey and the journey belongs to us. 

THE SPACE AROUND US

"Everything is restless until it comes home."

~ John Bate ~

Creating a nurturing environment in which to live serves us greatly.

Keeping the space clean and clear of clutter,

Decorated with things that delight us,

Lighting candles,

Having fresh flowers-

These things make us feel wrapped in love,

And we need that,

Perhaps now more than ever.

I surround myself with beauty. 

NOTICINGS

"I'm wholly devoted to while we're here."

~ Erika Harris ~

Our suffering humbles us.

Simple things keep us grounded.

Conversation heals hurt,

And fresh Christmas Trees seem to get prettier and prettier

The closer to Christmas 

they get.

Observing life enriches the daily experience. 

PERMISSION

"I am the sunlight to the soil of my own soul."

~ Muriel Strode ~

I like the idea of scented candles.

To have some delicious fragrance wafting through the breezes of the house

Sounds heavenly.

And whenever I encounter some kind of gourmet candle, I smell it, and, if it smells good,

Take out my wallet and envision the delight.

I have done this countless times,

Only to get home, light it up, and within minutes, blow it out and pack it away,

because it feels too strong, or too sweet, or too something.

This is not to say scented candles aren't wonderful-

They well may be... for others,

Just not for me.

It's ok to be who I am. 

WINDCHIMES

"The line of life is a snarl of loops and ends."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

I heard a song once about windchimes.

In verse one, the singer was celebrating the tinkling,

And by verse three the tinkling was driving her mad.

Life experience is constantly changing. I appreciate where I am. 

SPIRITUAL GIRTH

"For such loss, I would believe, abundant recompense."

~ William Wordsworth ~

The things we survive give us spiritual girth.

On the way to the church for my sister's memorial service-

She killed herself 

and I was to read Lines Written Above Tintern Abby 

for her 

at the podium-

I remember having this inner knowing.

If I could bury my only sister,

Then, 

surely,

I could do anything. 

I am strengthened by hardship. 

CLAMORING STORIES

"'Tis the great art of life to manage well

The restless mind."

~ John Armstrong ~

We build cases against people and hardship for ourselves 

in our minds.

And then we clash in the world with our clamoring stories.

The noise is deafening,

And makes it difficult for

The truth

To be

Seen.

I carefully chaperone the thoughts in my mind. 

RIDDLE

"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment."

~Rumi ~

Who would we be if we didn't know who we are?

Not knowing may be less of a problem than we think.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse."

~ Kimberly Johnson ~

When someone shares with us that something we have done has

Hurt their feelings, 

or

Created some other kind of hardship,

Or suffering,

Or inconvenience,

Generally, 

We are

Quick

To defend ourselves

And make excuses,

And explain away our behavior,

When what they really want

(And what's most needed)

Is an acknowledgement of the truth for them of what they've shared,

And a simple and sincere 

Apology

From

Us.

I own my part in the unfolding drama of life. 

BEYOND THE BEYOND

"Don't worry about anything at all.

You are not here by accident."

~ Mooji ~

We are simultaneously

the ground behind our experiencing,

The experience itself with all of its

Emotions and physicality,

And the witness of both.

I am more than my conditioning.

RICH APPRECIATION

"Too often too late comes too soon."

~ Dr SunWolf ~

One year ago today, our beloved German Shepherd, Boss, was still alive,

And so was my cousin's son, Max,

And so were all those like them who have died unexpectedly.

We want to know, but the only thing certain is our not knowing.

Living in rich appreciation of what each day brings seems an advisable strategy,

As does kindness,

And compassion,

And love. 

I stop insisting on the future and wake up to the day I'm in. 

GRATEFUL AND LONGING

"On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence."

~William Jennings Bryan ~

Thanksgiving again.

Another turkey and stuffing, 

Sweet potatoes,

Pumpkin pie.

But a bit of a different world this year,

And so, 

As always,

the mix-

Of old and new,

Familiar and strange,

Together and apart,

Hungry and full,

Grateful and longing,

And all of the above

And none of the above.

It's the unpredictable mix and side by side opposites that keep us engaged in the journey of life.

AGING

"Go securely... a harbor opens where you feared a shipwreck."

~ Francesco Petrarca ~

I am grateful for the aging process 

And all the subtle

And not so subtle

Wisdom

That comes with it.

Life experience is a good thing. 

TRANSCENDENCE

"And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair."

~ Khalil Gibran ~

I am grateful when the sun shines

After dense clouds and rain.

I am grateful for hot showers and soap

After a long day of working in the dirt.

I am grateful for the joy of forgiveness

After a fight.

And I am grateful for energy moving

After energy that has 

sluggishly

stalled.

One thing comes through the other again and again and again. 

PRAISE FOR LIVING

"The struggle ends when gratitude begins."

~ Neale Donald Walsch ~

In spite of the Corona Virus and everything else going on in the broad world,

and in my world,

I am grateful.

I am grateful to be alive,

To feel fresh air on my face.

To smell wood smoke,

To be entertained by the uniqueness of people,

And to recognize our similarities;

To have friends,

To have children,

To have a lovely home.

I am grateful for Art,

For Nature,

For God,

And for the 5 rhythms of life.

I am grateful to know presence,

And the beauty of the heart.

From all around and up and down, 

I am blessed.

APPROACHING THANKSGIVING 2020

"Conversations will not be cancelled.

Relationships will not be cancelled.

Love will not be cancelled.

Songs will not be cancelled...

May we lean into the good stuff that remains."

~ Jamie Tworkowski ~

Our strange year continues-

Discouraged to gather for the annual gathering holiday

Banned from travel

Isolated from elders

Afraid to shake hands and hug.

It's a sadness,

And a journey of acceptance,

And great blind faith. 

I trust God.

CURIOUS CONVENIENCE

"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed."

~ Joan Rivers ~

Shopping online is both convenient and tricky.

The images we see on the screen create a vision in our mind,

And sometimes what arrives in the mail doesn't measure up-

Sometimes not at all.

And other times, we are pleasantly delighted by what we receive.

I enjoy life's surprises. 

OPEN HEARTED SHARING

"In the normal state of the soul, when life is oppressed, when the vastest issues break like angry oceans in the spirit- then thoughts seem bent on uttering themselves."

~ William A Quayle ~

The best cure I know 

for what ails us emotionally 

is to speak our hearts and minds out loud

in a calm and honest way,

And be heard by someone 

Who cares about us enough

To listen quietly

And not judge.

I am healed by communication. 

RIDUCULOUSNESS

"I ask you to ignore the buzzing and jigging and vibration of small interests and excitements that form the tissue of our ordinary consciousness, and instead turn your attention to the profounder bass-note of life."

~ William James ~

Let's skip the "petty" across the board, and get on to the broader view.

I stop nitpicking and open to the largesse of the living experience.

SUPER-SOFT

"May brooks and trees and singing hills join in the chorus too. 

And every gentle wind that blows send happiness to you.'

~ Irish Blessing ~

I went to the dentist the other day for a teeth cleaning, and was told that I brush too hard, so the hygienist gave me a tiny, super-soft brush to use with great care, and it's been interesting. My mind tells me that it's impossible to clean my teeth in such a gentle fashion, and yet there's something about it that feels right on, and even nurturing. 

     Through this process, I've realized that I tend to wash my face in a somewhat over the top aggressive manner as well, so the question that has arisen is why? And the answer seems to be linked to the more is better concept, and the generalized urge I seem to have to force and push and grab at life as if it needs my urgent help, which, of course, it does not.

     When I can loosen the reins in any fashion, my experience becomes soothing instead of exhausting, and the ride a pleasure instead of a chore. 

I trust what's easy and graceful, and understand that everything doesn't have to be hard.

WHEN?

"You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk."

~ Louise Smith ~

The time to take on challenges and new ventures is not when we're tired,

But when we're fresh.

I save the projects that need my mental brightness for the morning hours.

JOURNEY OF TIME

"The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder."

~ Ralph W. Sockman 

What energizes us?

And what exhausts us?

What fills us with faith?

And what makes us fearful?

When do we go to sleep?

And how do we wake up?

I ponder the patterns of life experience. 

COLLECTIVE UNITY

"To each his own."

 ~ Shakespeare ~

Recently, I have recognized in myself a desire for collective unity,

Which doesn't mean that everyone has to agree on everything,

Only that everyone be on the same page

That in the big picture,

We are in this together.

I understand the value of that kind of unity-

The cocoon that holds us all-

And valuing that,

I have come up against single-mindedness,

And individual process,

And lack of interest in the collective whole,

Which makes me sad,

And also teaches me new levels of compassion,

And appreciation,

For everybody being exactly where they are.

I understand that we're not all there yet. 

FARE THEE WELL

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning."

~ Ivy Baker Priest ~

Goodbyes are cleansing and necessary.

They open up space for the next hello.

I am easy with the comings and goings of life. 

NOT KNOWING

"We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties."

~ Oswald Chambers ~

If we ask for something from the depths of our heart, 

Our next job is to let go of the outcome,

And to trust that 

Though we may not know how,

Or who, 

Or what,

Our prayers can still be answered.

I surrender and trust. 

2020

"Let it be."

~ The Beatles~ 

From where I sit,

If 2020 had a theme,

It would be something along the lines of

Resistance and disbelief.

Over and over again this year I have found myself

Seriously questioning what appears to be happening,

On both the personal and the global scale,

And feeling like it can't really be happening that way,

And yet, 

It is.

So, what's to be done?

A sigh?

A shrug?

A bit of radical acceptance?

It's the final quarter of the year now,

And perhaps the theme will continue into 2021,

And perhaps it won't,

But for now,

And for always really,

Oh, well, and there it is.

Whatever is happening is happening, and maybe it has deep and broad implications and significance, and maybe it doesn't. 

STRANGE

"The music beat on among youthful leaves, into the darkness, beneath the gold and mute cacophony of stars..."

~ William Faulkner ~

It's incredible how easily we can take things for granted,

And make assumptions about how it's going to be,

When the truth is-

The TRUE truth...

Is that we just never know. 

I keep an open mind and remain curious. 

CLEAN AND CRISP

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."

~ Leonardo Da Vinci ~

Complicated situations weigh us down like chains.

They are heavy with human concerns and fears.

Simplicity, on the other hand, feels light and breezy,

Clean, and

Crisp, and

Supremely divine. 

I deeply appreciate what is simple, direct, and to the point. 

SURPRISE

"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."

~ Ambrose Bierce ~

Our knowing about things seems to come naturally-

We "have a feeling"

And that makes us certain that we're right.

And yet, our certainty does not guarantee our correctness.

As my friend Matt likes to point out,

We can be 100% certain about something and 100% wrong about it at the same time.

So where does that leave us?

Not knowing, 

More than we'd like to admit.

And that's where faith comes in,

And curiosity,

And the delight of

Surprise.

I know less than I think I do. 

WHATEVER IS NEEDED

"Music is to the soul what a water bath is to the body."

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes ~

Music is a good friend.

It keeps us company,

Inspires us,

Distracts us,

Entertains us,

Calms us,

Moves us-

Whatever is needed. 

Music is a good friend.

I appreciate rhythm and lyrics and instruments and song!

EASY DOES IT BUT DO IT

"He who hesitates is lost." 

~ Joseph Addison ~

If we drag our feet indecisively for too long

Trying to save ourselves from every potential pitfall in advance,

Then it's likely someone else may come along

And take what we've been after

In a flash-

Leaving us "holding the bag" so to speak:

Full of all our thoughts and worries and visions...

With nowhere now 

to spend them.

I deliberate briefly, and then take action. 

THE RIGHT CHOICE

"Instinct selects the best method first."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

Often, we know our choice intuitively right away,

But then we second guess ourselves, and check,

And re-check,

Until we have tried out all the possible options,

And thoroughly convinced ourselves,

That the first choice 

remains

the right one. 

I trust my spontaneous intuitive knowing. 

OVER WHEN IT'S OVER

"The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too."

~ Teresa of Avila ~

Sometimes we're ready to be done with a project,

But it's not ready to be done with us. 

There's a process that has to play out,

Steps to be taken,

Emotions felt.

It's not for us always

To say when we're ready 

Or complete.

It's over when it's over,

And not 

a second 

before. 

Whether I like it or not, I'm a part of the process. 

GRUFF'S BACK

"Duck! Here comes another day!"

~ Charles Schulz ~

Four years ago at this time, we were anticipating my husband's total spinal reconstruction surgery.

His Doctor called me personally and spoke to me for 20 minutes to be sure I understood

That this was a big deal-

A 12 hour surgery, with multiple blood transfusions and an uncertain result.

The recovery would be long.

The physical limitations permanent.

We needed to prepare ourselves.

And then we got through it with more grace than seemed possible...

And then we moved to Montana,

And then we moved to New Mexico,

And then we moved back to Virginia and took on the recovery and renovation

Of this unbelievably beautiful farm,

And then we discovered it was too much,

So now it's for sale,

And here we are-

Carried somehow all the way through this grand adventure,

And nonetheless lacking in trust 

For whatever may lie ahead.

I have faith in life's surprising blessings. 

HOW MUCH DO WE OWE?

"Dare to be honest."

~ Robert Burns 

It pays to be fresh and authentic.

And it costs dearly to piggy back on someone else's dream.

I follow my own True North. 

MEANING MAKING MACHINES

"If we refuse to pray until we can elucidate the mystery of prayer, we are as foolish as a man would be who would shut off the rain from his garden until he understands the balancing of clouds."

~ Will Rogers ~

Why is it that we seem driven to make sense of things?

We want to know, "Why?"

And, "Why not?"

And, "What happened?"

And, "What does it mean?"

We are meaning making machines,

Expending endless effort trying to "figure things out"

When no amount of figuring will solve the problem

Because fundamentally, there is no problem-

Only mystery,

And experience,

And an inability to trust what we cannot understand. 

I am rich with the mysteries of ongoing daily experience.

BUGS IN NUMBERS

 "We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics."

~ Bill Vaughn ~

Around here, tis the season of Stinkbugs and Ladybugs-

"Stinky Bugs" as my friend called them earlier today...

And much as they are an annoyance,

They also command a certain respect,

For their tenacity,

And resilience,

And toughness,

And strategy,

And strength in numbers approach to life.

Nature teaches me great things and small things too, so I've learned to pay attention. 

BURNOUT

 "Slow and steady wins the race."

~ Hans Christian Anderson ~

The other day, someone described me as being "hyper-productive"

And I am not that all the time

but I have been on a roll lately.

What happens to me when I'm in that mode is that I burn out,

And lose patience

For everyone else 

Who is pleasantly productive.

I want to ramp them up to speed.

The point is,

This hyper productive mode is actually a trick.

It seems effective.

I get a lot done and feel proud,

But I'm isolated in it,

Seeking recognition for my accomplishments as if they define my worth,

And quick to irritation with all the things I can't control...

Which is almost everything.

It would be ok, and preferable even, to savor the experience I'm about 

Instead of choking it down in violent gulps.

I stop before I've gone too far. 

BIG AND LITTLE

"That's the way that it goes."

~ Gillian Welch ~

Small things have an easier time turning than big things.

Think of the difference between a Mini Cooper and an 18 wheeler,

Or a kayak and a cruise ship.

There's labor and procedure and care required for big things to turn.

It takes planning

 and preparedness.

Little things, on the other hand,

Can turn on a dime,

Instantaneously,

Quick as a flash.

So which is better?

There's no better,

Just acknowledgement,

And appreciation,

That conditions are what they are. 

I accept the intrinsic characteristics of whatever I am trying to turn. 

MEETING PEOPLE

 "What is a human being but a private soul hiding behind a public mask, asking for a little understanding."

~ Robert Brault ~

"What do you do?" seems rather a weak question.

And it's not much fun to answer either.

Surely we can think of something better to ask when we meet people for the first time.

I am curious about who you are more than what occupies your time. 

SOMETIMES

"A new broom sweeps clean but the old broom knows the corners."

~ Irish Saying ~

Sometimes life requires that we tidy up after other people,

And sometimes it requires that we tidy up after ourselves.  

And neat alone is not enough. 

It needs to be clean as well. 

Without that,

Things in the environment go to chaos pretty quickly,

And feel rather a mess.

I keep things neat and clean. 

NEW CHAPTERS

"To decide is to walk facing forward with nary a crick in your neck from looking back at the crossroads."

~ Betsy Garmon ~

When we choose something, we don't have to explain our choice,

or justify it to ourselves or others,

Or feel guilt.

Choice is simple:

We choose what we choose because

That's what we choose. 

And others may understand and approve,

Or they may not. 

I live by my choices, and experience what I choose.

HANDKERCHIEFS

"Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says inspires one or the other."

~ Joseph Joubert ~

My Dad never really seemed to approve of me,

And some of my choices made him angry

And withdraw.

Over and over we missed each other, basically,

But even as a girl, I felt a kind of intimacy with him when I explored his

Drawer of handkerchiefs and cufflinks,

And when he died,

They became mine.

The handkerchiefs are soft and white, and have his initials embroidered on them,

And through this pandemic,

their soft cotton has soothed me,

serving as my mask. 

The exchange of love we experience is both subtle and profound. 

SACRED SPACE

"The Salvation Army always stands ready to relieve us of superfluous effects."

~ Emily Tolman ~

What is sacred space?

It's space that's internal as well as external,

Space that's honored,

And revered,

With no junk,

I stay mindful of the beautiful nature of who I am. 

IT IS WHAT IT IS

"It's ok to be who you are."

~ Ann Kite ~

Sometimes all we can do is show up.

Our best effort on any given day is good enough. 

THE DIVINE DESIGN

"Fate laughs at probabilities."

~  Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton ~

Ever had a plan that didn't play out?

That's what's supposed to happen.

And it will happen again.

We are carried through life far more than we realize,

Moved by inspiration more than intention,

Always knowing what we need to know exactly when we need to know it.

And being re-directed and shifted as divinely designed.

I trust the universal flow.

PLENTY TO DO

"To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart."

~ Thomas Watson Sr ~

There's plenty to do in life.

Maintenance. Maintenance. Maintenance.

And creativity, and work, and exercise, and relaxation, and meals, and fun.

And whenever we are at a loss,

And not sure what to do,

As my friend's grandmother used to tell her,

We can always 

Clean up our room. 

I enjoy the never ending action of living life.

THE TENDENCY TO OVER-FILL

"Freedom is hiding under the clutter."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

It's likely that we under-value spaciousness in our lives.

We cram things into drawers and closets.

We over-fill our bellies, and 

We stuff our minds with information

And fearful thoughts.

In spaciousness is ease,

And relief,

And breathing room.

Whether in our homes or in our bodies,

Let's make an effort

To clear out some space!

I appreciate the benefits of spaciousness.

THIS AND THAT

"Life's messy. Clean it up"

~ Bissell Inc Trademark ~

I like things in order- 

Clear,

Delineated,

This,

or

That.

But so often- maybe even most of the time,

It's this and that,

Everything all mixed up together,

And the only way out

Is through.

I accept chaos when it comes.

ALL AT ONCE

"Be ye therefore 'eloquent listeners.'" 

~ James Lendall Basford ~

If we can interact with others without an agenda,

And just be curious,

Genuinely curious,

About what it's like to be them, 

Then our connection exists at the level of authenticity,

And is vibrant and fresh

And relaxing

And solid

And loving

All at once. 

I listen, and in so doing, am somehow heard. 

MANAGING THE BEAST

"All sorrows are less with bread."

~ Miguel de Cervantes ~

When life requires an extra amount of effort,

Whether emotionally or physically,

Time careens us forward 

And we can inadvertently 

Go too long without eating,

And suddenly find ourselves a bit desperate,

And anxious,

And mis-emotional.

Food will fix it, but

It's so much better to not let it get that far.

I take care to eat at regular intervals, no matter what. 

THE ULTIMATE GIFT

"There is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers."

~ Seneca ~

Though we might not always see and experience it this way,

The truth is that freedom, above all, is a gift. 

It's not something we can earn,

Or achieve.

It's something we are given, often without even realizing it,

Something we have to open

To receive.

I am grateful. 

PITCH DARKNESS

"When you possess light within, you see it externally."

~ Anais Nin ~

Sometimes life feels like we're standing

In a cave in the pitch dark

And can't see anything at all-

Not even our hand in front of us-

And we have to take a step.

It requires blind (literally) 

Trust.

And we may have to grope and stumble for a bit,

But eventually....

Eventually,

We will see some kind of light somewhere

And be able 

to move 

in its direction.

I trust the light. 

STICKING SEEDS

"People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them." 

~ George Bernard Shaw~ 

I bought some lovely ornamental grass for the garden today, and when I loaded it into the car, I noticed that it shed its fluffy ends some. And when I unloaded it, I realized that the seeds were all over. They were stuck to a towel, and the floor rug, and the seat, and there was no blowing or shaking them out. They were lodged fast. I considered if that's what it did in my car, it would likely do that in the earth, so if these seeds were fertile, I may have just bought myself an invasive nightmare. 

I googled it to confirm, and yes indeed. There, online, were folks like me who had brought it home and planted it and now it was everywhere and impossible to control.

So-

I won't be planting this grass.

And I will remember the lesson, and notice all the ways it applies to life.

I watch for unwanted spreading of all kinds, and take care to stop it fast.

POSSIBILITY MEETS THE MIRACULOUS

"Things are only impossible until they're not."

~ Jean-Luc Picard ~

There are things we know,

And things that we know we don't know.

And then there is a whole other realm of 

Things that we don't know we don't know.

And that's where possibility meets the miraculous,

And synchronicity happens,

And all the dreams we didn't even know we had

Come true.

I stop thinking I have all the answers, and open to divine mystery. 

THE BEST WE CAN DO IS GOOD ENOUGH

"I used to worry about what other people think of me until I realized, they don't."

~ Colloquial Saying ~

I have to be vigilant at night when I'm tired

That my thoughts don't turn on me

And make me second guess every decision I've made during the day.

I seem to have this built in anxiety around 

What other people think,

Or might think,

About what I've said or done,

The world does not turn according to my plans and decisions. 

I am both smaller and larger than I think. 

OVER AND OVER AGAIN

"Little fears love to walk on stilts."

~ Henry Stanley Haskins ~

Every time we're faced with a new uncertainty,

The same old fears tend to come up-

That it won't work out,

That we are doomed,

Or whatever our favorite fears may be... 

And the truth is that

Maybe it won't work out in the way that we hope,

But life has shown us 

Over and over and over again,

That whatever it is, we get through it,

And it always works out somehow

And no matter what,

We're ok. 

I stop feeding my fears and live free. 

WELL-BEING AT THE DEEPEST LEVEL

"God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose. Take which you please- you can never have both."

~ RW Emerson ~

To be truly honest with ourselves and others takes courage

And trust.

It seems easier most of the time to pretend,

Or deny,

But in the long run,

And at the level of our 

Soul's well-being,

It's not. 

I have the courage to speak my truth.

MENTAL TRICKERY

"Watch it unfold live."

~Evan I. Schwartz ~

It goes both ways:

Sometimes we sweeten things in our minds in anticipation,

And when they actually happen, 

we feel jolted, 

and let down;

Or,

We expect the worst,

And end up delighted instead.

So what's the message?

Be the observer of it all.

I am the unassociated witness of life happening. 

WIPED OUT

"The vision must be followed by the venture."

~ Vance Havner ~

In some ways, mental activity can be more draining than physical activity,

And it doesn't feel as honest somehow,

Or as clean.

I balance figuring things out with moving my body. Otherwise, I go stale. 

HELP COMES

"We are all benefactors and beneficiaries, dependent upon each other."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

Help comes-

Not in the way we hope for,

Or expect,

But nonetheless.

We are stuck,

And can't see our way forward.

Someone shines a light

In the opposite direction

From where we were looking

And shows us that actually,

We're not stuck at all.

What freedom 

In knowing

That helps comes.

When we need it,

It comes. 

I breathe and relax and know that all is well. 

THE JOURNEY OF MOODS

"I will wear my heart upon my sleeve."

~ William Shakespeare ~

Sadness.

Anger.

Worry.

Trust.

Peace. 

Emotions rise and fall in me like the tides. 

NO MATTER WHAT

"We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.'

~ Marianne Williamson ~

No matter what we may have survived, 

or witnessed, 

or been ashamed of, 

We are not some tragic, cautionary tale.

We don't need to shrink and be afraid. 

We are pure, divine power experiencing manifest life, 

and we would do well to remember that 

as we go about our daily business.

I stand in my power. 

BEING AWARE

"Love. The indigenous nature of the soul."

~ Morris Hyman ~

Even after something has been created,

If it has been created with love,

The love lingers.

It can be felt.

Love leaves footsteps and fingerprints wherever it goes.

WALKING THE ROAD

"Life is the game that must be played."

~ Edwin Arlington Robinson ~

When facing complexities and seeming impossibilities

in the world

and in our lives,

There's nothing for it but to 

move forward

one little bit at a time;

to pause if we need to,

to stop if we must,

but to pick up the road again

when we're rested,

and take a small step,

and then another...

And that's the way it goes.

forever and ever,

Amen. 

I keep on keeping on.

BEAUTY FROM THE SOURCE

"A morning glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books."

~ Walt Whitman ~

I love candles 

and flowers.

Each so simple,

and so profound.

They change a space and make it sacred

And beautiful

And bright

And alive. 

I fill my environment with color and light.

DECISION BY INSTINCT

"Instinct is untaught ability."

~ Alexander Bain ~

More often than not, 

when a decision has to be made, 

we actually know what our choice is going to be intuitively before we choose it.

Sometimes, however, 

in spite of our knowing, 

we talk ourselves in to an alternative option for logic's sake, 

or some other mental reasoning.

And inevitably, 

when we go that route, 

we pay for it.

I trust my intuitive knowing.

THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

"My back is broken by the conflict of my thoughts."

~ Rumi ~

I imagine most of us have had the experience of 

waking up in the middle of the night 

with a "figure it all out right now" kind of mindset. 

I've had a few of those lately... 

and the other night, 

in particular, 

I felt overwhelmed with the thought that, "There's so much happening!" 

Which was followed immediately by the thought that's there's actually nothing happening.

I'm just lying here in my bed in the middle of the night

With the ceiling fan flapping away overhead.

I stay in the moment and breathe. 

THE RECIPE

"You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces- just good from fresh ingredients."

~ Julia Child ~

Life is cumulative.

We start raw and experience tenderizes us,

And the input of our community

Marinates us,

And clarity emerging out of chaos

Slow cooks us until

We become a delicacy.

And then begin raw 

yet again. 

I become deliciously sweet and savory through the slow process of life in small bits.

THE SHIFTING EXPERIENCE

"The fact that life is a grind is what sharpens many a man's wits."

~ Boston Transcript ~

As children, we like puzzles and riddles and things we can't figure out.

They're FUN!

So why, when we become adults,

Do we shift,

And experience puzzles as problems,

And grind our teeth over them,

And sweat nervously,

And fret?

I look at problems as challenges, and enjoy the process of seeking solutions. 

KEEPING QUIET

"If I had to do it again, I'd ask more questions and interrupt fewer answers."

~ Robert Brault ~

Opinions are endless, prejudiced, eagerly offered, and generally

Not very helpful.

They reflect a personal,

Limited perspective. 

Sharing personal experience,

On the other hand,

Tends to land more gently,

but even then... 

It's not always appreciated.

Perhaps we might learn to

Keep quiet,

To watch,

To be aware of our inner desire

To know it all,

And fix it,

And puff out our chests and be 

Important....

And simply 

Listen instead. 

Sometimes silence is the most generous offering of all. 

CARE TAKING

"The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play."

~ Arnold Toynbee ~

One of the things that I love about gardens is that they evolve with age-

They mature.

Houses and fences and foundations and paint,

On the other hand,

Deteriorate.

Both, however, suffer over time 

without regular maintenance.

Gardens choke with overgrowth

And structures collapse.

Maintenance is the key to longevity. 

THE MONKEY TRAP

"Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped."

~ African Proverb ~

There's a story about a monkey trap.

The trap is a hollow coconut with a rope tied to one end,

A hole at the other end,

And a banana inside.

The monkey sees the banana and reaches in for it.

His hand slips easily through the hole.

But when he grabs the banana and wants to pull it out,

His fist won't fit,

And he's trapped...

Unless he's smart enough to let go.

I relax my grip on things. 

EMPATHY

"There is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all of one's life- reciprocity."

~ Confucius ~

Empathy is a skill lacking some in most of us.

We tend to be so consumed with our own sense of righteous indignation

That we are incapable of considering what it might be like for someone else,

And this is a sadness,

Because it makes us miss the exchange journey of the human heart.

I catch myself being consumed with my personal perspective and flip the script. 

LIFTED LIKE A FEATHER

"The truth is simple."

~ Mooji ~

When we stop anxiously trying to control outcomes and give ourselves over to the process at hand, we will be carried- by people, by serendipitous happenings, and by the calling of our own inner knowing. It's uncanny how it works. The minute we let go and relax, rather than crashing in a pile on the ground, we are lifted like a feather into the beautiful journey of the unknown.

I surrender. 

LIFE CHANGES

"My head is bursting with the joy of the unknown."

~ Rumi ~

Life changes.

And life changes us.

I'm living the journey.