BOTH SIDES OF LIFE HAVE THEIR PURPOSE AND THEIR PLACE

     When my mind and spirit are clear and my body feels good, everything seems so simple and beautiful. I am free from doubt and worry. I feel expansive and generous. But when my mind is busy and I feel out of sorts physically, it's a different story entirely. I feel as if the world is closing in on me. I am wracked with terrors and suspicions and all or nothing thinking. And there is a certain desperation within me because I'm not sure that I will ever again be restored to the light.
     It's unrealistic to think I can find a way to be always happy. It's the natural ebbing and flowing way of life that I should shift back and forth from clarity to blindness, from love to fear. And yet, I seem unable to take them both in equal stride. I welcome the bright side and resist the dark with all I have.
     But, if I'm honest, some of my greatest spiritual evolution has come to me by way of the muck and the murk. There is great value in the muddy puddles and swampy bogs of life. I suppose it's unlikely to believe that I could ever actually embrace the difficult passages of life, but maybe I can learn to stop fighting them. And instead of being irritated with feeling less than perfect, perhaps I can learn to say, "Ah- here I am again. I know this place, and know it will pass, and until it does, I will let it be here and trust the lessons that it has to teach me."

I have compassion for myself and my shifting moods and energies. I can fully enjoy feeling good and be open to the experience of feeling less than good. I trust the process, and trust in the timing of God.