Tuesday, January 31, 2012


     When it comes to my dreams, I tend to be a bit of a magical thinker. I have always believed that if I want something badly enough, and pray for it, then surely it will turn up in my life. And occasionally, that's exactly what happens. But more often, I find myself waiting for the opportunities I long for to find me. I have some distorted and magical expectation that from out of the mist will appear some individual, or group of individuals, who will make my dreams happen for me. I am not out creating opportunities for myself, but waiting in the wings for them to come to me, and feeling discouraged and disappointed when they do not come.
     I'm only just now willing to admit to my innermost self that things don't really work the way I've always thought they did. There is not some dream fulfillment angel going to come and grant me my wish. I have to be my own advocate. I have to put myself out there in the path of my hopes and say here I am and this is what I have to offer. Who will be lucky enough to participate in my adventure?
     I didn't used to think it was up to me. I thought I was supposed to stand back humbly and wait to be discovered; leaving it up to the outside world to choose me, or not, and then to determine and establish my worth,. But it's actually the opposite. I'm starting to get it. It's for me to market myself and to create my own value. It's for me to choose who's right to help me fulfill my creative vision and not the other way around.
     In many ways, I am absolutely powerless, but in other ways, I have far more power than I have ever acknowledged. I need to step up if I want to follow my dreams. We all do. We need to emerge from the illusive safety of our shadows of fear and give ourselves a real chance. Let's be willing to make mistakes and face potential rejection and criticism and misunderstanding, but keep the faith, and stay the course, and trust in the journey. Surely, we have the dreams and inclinations that we have for a good reason. But they serve no purpose at all unless we have the courage and the perseverance to move steadily towards them.

I take some small action each day in the direction of my dreams. I understand that it is up to me to create opportunities for success in my life. I'm done waiting around to be magically discovered.