WILLING TO CHANGE

     There are few things more uncomfortable or stressful than knowing that something in our lives or in ourselves isn't working and we need to change, but not being willing to change... yet. The wrestling status- the deal making, denial, pretend measures, and the self-deceipt are excruciating. We are successful convincing ourselves for a time that all is well, but there comes a point where we can no longer justify ourselves to ourselves no matter what spin we put on it.
     Living in this state of discomfort, knowing that change is called for but resisiting it with all that we have, we function on a short fuse. We are irritable and self-pitying. We want to be free of our pain and our angst, but we just want it to go away. We don't want to have to do anything. Anger lurks in us. On some level, we know what's required, but we are unwilling. When pushed, we lash out with a fierce, and raging defense.
     And yet, for all our battle and struggle, the moment we stop kidding ourselves and agree to do whatever it is that we need to do, our relief is extraordinary. We are relieved of the burden of dishonesty and resistance, and the path before us shines clear. We step forth free of all that has been loading us down and holding us back. In the end, there's nothing for it but to let go, to embrace the tough decision and accept the journey forth. There's nothing for it but to surrender to the truth of what  is.
    

I am honest about what's not working in my life. I stop fighting and resisiting and trying to make the wrong direction right by my sheer stubborn-ness. I am willing to change.