THE WILDFIRE OF SELF-DESTRUCTION

     The people we love don't always make the best choices for their own health, or ours. To watch the path of self-destruction run its course like a wildfire in someone we love is excruciating and painful. We want to fix them, to re-direct their path, to make them see! But they don't see, and maybe they can't. We have no power to change their direction. Only they can do that.
     We can only love them and be honest with them about the way we feel. We can be present, and helpful, but we cannot allow ourselves to be used as fodder for their fire. We are worth more than that.
     It's a hard thing to realize that the best we can do when others are in reckless resentment and self-abuse mode is to take care of ourselves. It always feels a little bit as if we should fall apart with them. But that's not the answer- not for them, or us, or anyone. It's live and let live that's required, with our hearts open, and our self-care boundaries intact.

I take care of myself first and foremost because that's my main job. I am loving towards others, but do not throw myself under their train out of a sense of impetuous co-dependence.