VIRTUAL REALITY

"Don't think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. It's quiet, but the roots are down there riotous."

~ Rumi ~

Virtual reality has its limits. Interacting with people online is better than not interacting at all, for sure, but nonetheless, misses all the beautiful subtleties of expression and body language, and the smooth flow of conversation. Zoom calls can be choppy and jarring.

     And so, while I'm grateful for online meetings, and classes, and the opportunity to connect, I miss being together live.

I gracefully accept that this is a time of limited access.

COVID-19

"How strange is this combination of proximity and separation. 

That ground- seconds away- thousands of miles away."

~ Charles A. Lindbergh ~

Due to a new state order prohibiting public gatherings until June 10th, 

We have no choice but to postpone my daughter's wedding- 

The one we have been planning for over a year. 

What a strange new world we are living in.

I stay conscious, and remain flexible.

IN THE FACE OF OUR PLANS

"Linger not in your sorrows. You do not belong there."

~ Dodinsky ~

Quite a few of the small trees I transplanted have died and needed to be pulled up, and after carefully and thoroughly spreading grass seed and straw over the weekend, wind came and lustily blew the straw out of order so it was a race to get it wet and held in place before the next sweeping gust came. Both of these are examples of life happening in the face of my best plans, and neither particularly easy to take, and yet, there they are and what can be done?

     Learning to travel with the cosmic flow is good medicine for all of life's little road blocks and re- directions. 

THE INSISTENCE OF THOUGHT

"'Tis the great art of life to manage well the restless mind."

~ John Armstrong ~

The nature of mind is fickle, and fearful.

It worries and frets.

It gnaws at us obsessively.

is noisy and nosey,

arrogant,

vengeful,

egotistical,

and 

sharp.

Its favorite activity is to dangle juicy thoughts in front of us

in the hope that it will 

hook us like bait. 

I watch the play of my mind with detached amusement.

TOO MUCH

"If you must be in a hurry, then let it be according to the old adage, and hasten slowly."

~ Saint Vincent de Paul ~

We need just the right amount of stimulation to satisfy our sense of curiosity.

More than that stresses us out. 

"More" is generally not the answer. 

I slow down and appreciate the details of the moment. 

THE WHOLE RANGE

"My little dog- a heartbeat at my feet."

~ Edith Wharron ~

There is an unquestionable up and down and around pattern to the life of our new puppy. He's busy and playful and curious, and then he sleeps hard. And then he wakes slowly, and ventures out a little and then a little further, and then he's playful and curious again- at times reckless, at times uncertain and drawing back for love and comfort, at times hungry, thirsty, bold, lazy... He cycles through the whole range.
     And we do too, really, though perhaps we may be less authentic about it than Tank. We pretend to be steady and stable and immovable and sure, while inside we are as fickle as he is, and as needing of occasional reassurance, adventure, and grounded love.

I allow myself to be puppy-like, and experience the joys and curiosities of each day

BEYOND FEAR

"You will purchase the map,

Only to find you are already Here."

~ Mooji ~

In this unsettling time

With so much uncertainty

And fear,

It's easy to get trapped in 

Mentally punishing stories and scenarios,

That are unlikely to ever play out as we imagine them.

Let's get in touch instead

With that which doesn't change,

Is never unsettled,

And cannot get sick, or die. 

There is that in us.

It's there.

It's here.

Let's use this pandemic 

To find it,

And wake up to who we really are. 

There is that in me which witnesses what's happening and is quiet and at peace. 

SHIFTED PERSPECTIVE

"Set out from any point. They are all alike. They all lead to a point of departure."

~ Antonio Porchia ~

Whenever things get tipped on their head, the way our whole world has recently, the result is a shift in perspective. We see things we couldn't see before, and opportunities that didn't exist, suddenly do. Even as we're hunkered down at home, creative online horizons expand before us, and opportunities for connecting with others in new ways arise.

I am curious about new developments among us, even as we're challenged, and unsure. 

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

"Be empty of worrying.... step outside the tangle of fear thinking."

~ Rumi ~

There is uncertainty on both sides when a relationship of any kind begins- 

a desire to trust, and a concern that perhaps, 

trust may not be advisable. 

Something could happen.

Something could go wrong.

And we want to protect our hearts.

And be savvy, 

And be able to say we have done our due diligence,

And considered every side.

And yet, if the relationship is destined to be a good one, 

At some point, 

we must stop caring about protecting ourselves,

and stop worrying about what could happen,

and step into the love fully,

Exactly as it is in the moment,

Right here, and

Right now.

I commit my love and trust to what's happening now. 

NEW PUP

"We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us."

~ Bill Wilson ~

Our new pup is coming home and we are open to the adventure of loving him.

And we can live life that way also-

Trusting that it will be delicious

in its own challenging and sometimes difficult

Kind of way... 

I open my heart to the living experience. 

LEARNING TO STAND BACK

"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle."

~ Ben Franklin ~

When my ego wants to act out, I find myself at its mercy. 

It whips me about mentally and emotionally like I'm a fish on a line, 

and I don't like it. 

I resist and try to force it away with angst and willpower. 

But meeting power with power this way results in a tug of war. 

Relief comes only when I am able to stand back and detach.

I watch with curiosity as my ego seeks to tie me up in knots. 

SPREADING FEAR

"Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others."

~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~

In the current environment, fear is as contagious as the virus itself.

And we have some control there,

As to whether we spread it or not.

I breathe and trust and smile and breathe again. 

CAUTIONARY TALE

"Faith is the bird that sings to the dawn while it is still dark."

~ R. Tagore ~

It saddens me that the Corona Virus self-protection impetus is making us weary of others, 

stand-offish, 

and afraid to shake hands, 

or gather,

or hug. 

We need each other. 

Even if we choose not to touch physically, 

Let's still find ways to connect.

I care about people, and show up for them no matter what. 

BLOOMING LIKE A PLANT

"Open up and turn toward the light."

~ Jim Carrey ~

The sun is delicious, especially on a chilly day.

I feel like a plant, soaking it up.

It warms my roots, and makes me bloom.

I allow the sun to feed me. 

CHANGEABILITY

"Life turns on a dime."

~ Stephen King ~

The weather is beautifully and endlessly changeable, and sometimes many ways in one day. It can go from rain to sun to wind. Temperatures can drop swiftly, rise sharply; fog can settle in. The dynamic nature of clouds and light and everything that comes and goes is a refreshing reminder about life itself: that nothing is here to stay- no circumstance, or mood, or injury, or hardship. Emotions and physical sensations rise and fall like the tides, and we watch them and bear witness. The only thing that remains the same is the place we are watching from.

Everything changes except the truth of who I am. 

RIDUCULOUSNESS

"If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that indicate something about your size?"

~ Sydney J. Harris ~

Resentments are a story from the past that we drag around with us like a ball and chain

While the person we're resentful towards is usually oblivious,

And free. 

I drop my grudges like a hot pan. 

FAITH

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it."

~ American Saying ~

Living in alignment with our true selves, 

No matter what seeming obstacles or difficulties may come our way,

A path will open,

And we will be shown the way through. 

I trust in life's unfolding journey. 

TANK

"In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing."

~ Robert Ingersoll ~

The emotional pain of the loss of our German Shepherd, Boss, in December, has largely eased into the background as a kind of soft glowing memory... until we committed to a puppy the other day. Excitement over the pup has newly awakened the pang of our great friend's going, and disturbed us with tickling feelings of betrayal.
     To be clear, we are not replacing Boss- he is completely irreplaceable. We are simply stepping forward into a new relationship inspired by time and need, with a lively little ball of fluff we have named Tank.

There is no stopping the living drive. I embrace it, and move on. 

POSSIBILITY

"Pull another hand into the light."

~ Norman B. Rice ~

We are all out to make a difference and save the world, but maybe the world doesn't need saving in the way we think it does. 

Maybe what it really needs is discovery, anew.

Perhaps earth is actually heaven, and heaven, earth.

SHIFTING THE URGE

"I exist as I am, that is enough."

~ Walt Whitman ~

The messages of modern culture encourage action and speed and intensity- 

"Do more! Be more! Get to work! Lose weight! Have fun! Exercise! Multi-task!
Be your best self!"
These urges come from all sides, 

even from inside ourselves, 

and the core message is that 

as we are, 

we are not enough. 

And this message breeds suffering in the world.

Let's shift the urge.

Let's slow down,

Look around, 

Discover our true nature, 

Stop exhausting ourselves trying to be somebody, 

And experience life 

exactly as we are.

I am complete and whole.

GRACE

"Earth's tribulations diminish in proportion to the elevation of our souls."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

There is a way through even the most challenging and seemingly horrific situations. 

It is sprinkled with Grace 

and the most unlikely of angels.

I stay tuned and the path unfolds.

BEING QUIET

"Silence is as deep as eternity; speech, shallow as time."

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

Much as I am a wordsmith, 

I do understand and appreciate 

that words can sometimes cheapen an experience. 

In such cases, 

our eyes speak, 

and the silence.

There are times when nothing need be said.

THE MARGIN OF ERROR

"Truth only reveals itself when one gives up all preconceived ideas."

~ Shoseki ~

We can be 100% certain about something and 100% wrong at the same time. 

Think of the implication of this! 

All of us running around acting on false beliefs, 

insisting on facts that aren't accurate, 

certain other people don't know what they might actually know... 

It's not exactly a recipe for healthy relating. 

We might do better to 

remain open to alternate possibilities,

and acknowledge the fact

that our vision may be limited

and short. 

Even though I feel sure, I may still be wrong.