JUST THINKING

"You and I are not what we eat; we are what we think."

~ Walter Anderson ~

We have a fearful thought and suddenly 

We are gripped by fear of the possibility of it,

And our gripping grows it.

Additional thoughts stack on top of the original one.

Until we become tense and stressed out.

Time passes and the fearful happening doesn't happen,

But we have moved on to new thoughts that grip us,

And remain tense.

I detach from my thoughts and relax, observing how they come and go.

AND ON IT GOES

"I used to trouble about what life was for- now being alive seems sufficient reason."

~ Joanna Field ~

Life is a continuum.

Every ending is a new beginning.

And every morning turns to dusk.

I am flowing like a river.

THE WAY IT WANTS TO GO

"First things first."

~ Bill Wilson ~

Sometimes in an effort to simplify a process,

We end up complicating it instead.

Our interest in speed works against us,

And we become stuck insisting on our shortcut,

And frustrated the longer it delays us.

Inevitably, we end up back at square one,

Beginning again,

And having to take it the way it wanted to go in the first place-

One step at a time.

I stop trying to speed through life, and make the decision to live it instead. 

THE POWER AT WORK

 "God is the answer.

What's the question?"

~ Charlie Matheson ~

The scope of the power at work in our lives is 

beyond comprehension.

We set our goals and make our plans

And feel frustrated when things don't play out as we'd anticipated.

And meanwhile, the earth and sky are moving and shifting

Just for us.

I am part and parcel of the tremendous whole. 

THE THING ABOUT PRAYER

"Freedom begins between the ears."

~ Edward Abbey ~

If I pray for freedom, that must mean I'm not currently free,

Which means that actually I am praying to be bound

So that I can experience becoming free. 

We have to be careful.

Prayer is tricky that way.

I am already free. 

STEADY AND NOT

"I am vast. I contain multitudes."

~ Walt Whitman ~

I am not afraid, and also,

I am afraid.

I am calm and secure, and also,

I am anxious.

I am strong and fragile,

Awkward and highly capable,

Joyful and sad.

The humanity in me shrinks and expands.

The divinity

Quietly 

Abides.

I am not one thing or the other.

I am both and. 

THE SLOW FIZZ

"And lo, the Hospital, gray, quiet, old,

Where life and death like friendly chafferers meet."

~William Ernest Henley ~

Time in hospitals stretches like long afternoon shadows.

Medical machines hum hypnotically in the background.

In non-emergency situations,

the environment is entirely non-dynamic.

It's murmuring instead, and numbing and dragging,

And soothing somehow, 

by being utterly, and almost painfully

Dull.

Healing happens over time. 

TOO MUCH

"When it rains, it pours."

~ The Morton Salt Company ~

When we have what feels like more than we can handle,

It seems almost inevitable,

That something else comes along...

Why, I wonder.

To toughen us up?

To push us past the point of breaking into surrender?

To show us we are stronger than we think?

More resilient?

More capable?

None of the above?

All of the above?

Or maybe "Why?" is the wrong question.

Maybe the better question...

Maybe the only question really is 

"Why not?"

Life makes a mockery of my plans.

EMBRACING INSTABILITY

"Vulnerability is the foundation of courage because it requires the ability to navigate uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure."

~ Brene Brown ~

It's hard to be sure.

How can we be, ever?

And is that even the point?

Perhaps, like squats on a BOSU Ball,

The answer lies not in trying to make things be still,

But in becoming entirely comfortable with their lack of stillness,

The constant movement,

The inflexibility,

The ride. 

I'm ok with not being ok. 

SWEETS FOR THE JOURNEY

"Oh, Earth! You're too wonderful for anybody to realize you."

~ Thornton Wilder ~

Color.

Order.

Nature.

Grace.

A list of gifts

for

The Human Race. 

I thank God. 

IN THIS TOGETHER

"You're not the only one."

~ Third World ~

We all have so much on our proverbial plates

that it's easy to become self-absorbed to the extent 

that we actually lose the ability to appreciate

The plight of others.

And yet, understanding what some of our sisters and brethren

Are going through, and managing, and surviving

Might be just the thing to 

Save us

From our own internal angst.  

I appreciate that we all have our challenges as well as our joys.

TOO CLOSE TO SEE

"We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet."

~ Bob Ross ~

Recently, I have witnessed a process of detailed inspection 

That effectively misses the big picture entirely.

And don't we all do this?

Become so interested in and attached to our little plans and fears

That we are blind to the blessings,

And the grace,

And the absolute bounty

That sits right

Before us. 

Every so often I remember to step back and take a broader view. 

ONCE UPON A TIME

"Life is difficult."

~ Scott Peck ~

We all have our dragons,

And we all have our fairy Godmothers.

The journey each of us takes, 

in so many ways, 

is more like a fairytale

Than we realize. 

I am threatened and conqueror both. 

FLASHING SUNLIGHT

"A morning glory at my window pleases me more than the metaphysics of books."

~ Walt Whitman ~

Something I have discovered about myself that

I am newly clear on is this: 

I take great pleasure in small things.

Big views, big ventures, big crowds, big money, big responsibilities-

These all have a certain allure, but the truth for me is that

They're not what I want.

I want tender, elegant noticing of sunlight as it flashes across

Fabric or 

A face.

I want tiny flowers blooming in unlikely places.

I want subtlety and courtesy and gentleness

And a cozy room.

Big things have their place.

Big things have their moment, for sure.

But small things satisfy on a deeper level.

Small things soothe the soul.

I appreciate little noticings of great beauty. 

BIG JOBS

"First things first."

~ AA Slogan ~

Anything overwhelming can be

Broken down into

Manageable steps,

And taken

One step at a time.

That way, it's not so overwhelming,

And can get

Done.

Instead of taking it all on at once, I focus on the next right thing.

FOLLOWING THE TIDE

"The tides are in our veins."

~ Robinson Jeffers ~

When there are hoops to jump through

Jumping through them brings

Relief.

When there's a mountain to climb,

Climbing it brings a 

Sense of satisfaction.

And when  there's nothing to do,

Doing nothing brings

Peace.

I do what wants to be done and leave the rest alone. 

WHAT'S ENOUGH?

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."

~ Leonardo Da Vinci ~

Is too much of a good thing still a good thing?

What constitutes enough?

Simplicity satisfies me. 

NOT TRAPPED

"One love. One heart."

~ Bob Marley ~

Perhaps the truth is not that

We are somehow trapped within our bodies,

But that our bodies

Are contained

Within the immensity

Of us.

I am here before my body.

IN FRONT OR BEYOND

"Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?"

~ Rumi ~

There is a watcher in me that watches all of the

Risings and 

Fallings of my

Emotions and thoughts:

A witness.

And then behind that witness,

Or in front of it,

Or beyond,

There is a humming,

A brightness,

An energy,

A

Source.

I am deeper than emotion and vaster than thought.