Many times in my life- many more than I can remember- I have done something with the specific intent that it be a "treat." I have booked weekends at the beach, had massages, taken a day off of work, and a myriad of things along these lines, and mostly because of my expectations I suppose, they have turned out to be less than I hoped for... by far. And because of their being expensive, their letting me down has been especially disconcerting. Because I felt that it
should have been one thing, and it turned out to be another, I felt upset, angry, and betrayed.
I don't think the lesson is to stop doing these things, but to stop banking so much certainty in their happening the way I think they should, and let them happen as they happen. If there is something I'm grasping for, I'm bound to find it impossible to attain, but if I simply approach things with an open mind and an open heart, then I am allowing for surprises instead of demanding specific results.
If things don't turn out just the way I want them to, I can forgive myself my expectations, let it go, and move on.
