BEING MOM

"She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along."

~ Margaret Culkin Banning ~

Once a mother, always a mother-

The instinct for protecting our young is inbred,

No matter how old our young ones may be. 

And so, we must learn to check ourselves,

and leave them to it,

And trust in their journey,

and let them live free. 

I observe and appreciate the desire I have to protect my children, and am also honest about the fact that as they mature, they become readily able to protect themselves. 

JUST ONE MORE THING

"The waste of life occasioned by trying to do too many things at once is appalling."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

Rushing happens when we try to fit more activity in than time will comfortably allow. We push boundaries. We create an inward tension to sneak the extra bit in when we know on some level that we would do better to leave it for another time. 

Why do we do this to ourselves? 

And what makes it so hard to stop?

I spare myself the tension of overdoing.

WATCHING PEOPLE

"Who is wise? He that learns from everyone."

~ Ben Franklin ~

Watching people is good meditation and good medicine- 

not with judgment, 

but with simple open curiosity- 

just looking to see- 

what's there? 

How do they move?

With ease? With pain? With a hitch?

Are they rushing?

Do they seem happy, preoccupied, distressed?

We can see it all when we're looking.

Because however they are

And wherever they're rushing to,

Chances are,

We've been there.

So in this way,

Watching people

Reminds us of our connection

to the whole human race.

I am one of many, and in so many ways, we are all as one.

VISITING

"Relationship is an art."

~ Don Miguel Ruiz ~

It's a supreme delight to be sitting in a relaxed way talking with someone, finding out things about their lives that we didn't previously know, and sharing tidbits from our own history. It's affirming, connecting, and enjoyable. We are so busy, and so self-absorbed, that we seldom visit with people just to visit. Country folks know about this. And the rest of us miss out for not knowing. 

I take the time to take an interest in the people I encounter. 

A SEEMING RIDDLE

"A secret freedom opens through a crevice you can barely see."

~ Rumi ~

I am the space in which all sights and sounds and experiences rise up and fall away.

I witness the comings and goings and do not attach to them. 

I am pure awareness and supreme stillness; a portal; divine.

I am limitless.

I am timeless.

I am largely unknown but I am not unknowable.

Who am I?

I am. 

BOUND BY BRANCHES

"It was the straw that broke the camel's back."

~ Proverb ~

I have been using a chainsaw for five days to cut up trees, 

and generally speaking, 

it's not the massive trunks that bind the saw. 

They are difficult to manage, 

to be sure, 

but fairly straightforward and predictable nonetheless. 

It's the smaller branches, 

and the shoots.

They hook me up every time.

I expect them to tighten up one way and they 

tighten up in the opposite direction instead.

And isn't life like that as well?

We get through the big stuff

and get stuck

and fall apart

when faced with the seemingly innocuous thing. 

I take nothing for granted.

THE RIGHT TOOL

"The task without illumination... eats at life (and) leaves one insensate, save to weariness."

~ Muriel Strode ~

Ever tried to hammer with a rock, or tape something that needs gluing, or spread butter with a spoon?

For lack of availability or effort, we ineffectively wrestle with the task at hand. 

Having the right tool makes all the difference. 

I take the time to gather what I need for the job ahead. 

ACCEPTANCE

"In letting go, we surrender the weight of our burdens and find the lightness of being."

~ Daphne Rose Kingma ~

Responding to life however it shows up often serves us better than plans do. 

Our plans are so often detoured and derailed,

and because we are invested in them, 

we feel disappointed when they don't play out.

But being curious and alive to whatever comes

and whatever goes

is rather restful really,

and somehow soothes

the surrendered soul.

I am ok with the day however it unfolds. 

NEW LIFE

"up with joy!"

ee cummings

Watching a baby calf can't help but make you smile. One day old and already they leap a bit on their new legs, happily, just for the joy and delight of it. The Moms are big and solid and steady and the little calves just bounce around them. We can feel their joy viscerally as our own experience. It transfers directly to our hearts.

I experience the joy of others as my own. 

METAPHOR

"To labor is to pray."

~ Motto of the Benedictines ~

The tree project for this week is not about planting little trees but about clearing big ones to make a pasture for cattle. Gruff (my husband) is on the excavator pulling them out whole- stumps included, our friend Eulugio is running the tractor with a grapple on it to move the downed trees into piles for fence posts, sawmill timber, and the burn pile, and I'm on the ground with a chainsaw.
     Every feature of the job is incredible, truly, and I am pleased and awed by the power of our partnership and the ability we have harnessed to be able to change the landscape with such relative ease.

What do you want to move, and who and what can help you do it? 

VALENTINE'S DAY

"Who, being loved, is poor?"

~ Oscar Wilde

Hearts, candy, flowers, cards, gifts, romance-

Little doileys and classroom delivery systems...

(Remember sending Valentine's to each other when we were kids?)

A day of acknowledgement

(I see you!)

And thank you-

For being there,

So I can love you.

I recognize the people I love today and every day!

LIFE IS GOOD

"Dare to be honest and fear no labor."

~ Robert Burns ~

To be inspired is to be set on fire

in a warming,

ember glowing kind of way:

Alive from the inside

And ready to go.

Excitement makes my blood tingle like bubbles in a glass of champagne. 

FALSE CERTAINTY

"Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. 

We give it orders which make no sense."

~ Henry Miller ~

It's easy to think we have control over our health, and that others do as well, and to some limited extent, that's true, but less, perhaps, than we might like to think. Even as I write this, energy within me strongly resists the idea. 

I WANT to have control, because that gives me power, 

and the ultimate conceptual ability to defy death in some way, 

but that, 

of course, 

is the biggest sham of all. 

     I believe in the body mind connection, and I believe in metaphysical causes for physical ailments, and I believe in holistic healing, 

until these things don't work, 

which does happen sometimes. 

Sometimes, sickness and imbalance and injury just come...

     I want to place blame and find solutions, and so do we all it seems, as everyone out there is 

ready and able to tell us what we need 

to do 

or take 

or find 

and what will absolutely work.... 

what has worked for them.

But really?

Who makes our heart beat?

Who heals our cuts?

And who manages the five hundred plus functions of our liver?

Is that us?

Or some force beyond the beyond

That has gifted us our body in the first place?

I surrender to my body's knowing.

INEFFECTIVE MARKETING

"As advertising blather becomes the nation's normal idiom, language becomes printed noise."

~ George Will ~

Surveys seem to be the new thing in marketing, and yet, I'm skeptical. Do companies really care how we respond, or are they just looking to entrap us into future advertising categories with whatever preferences we state? It feels invasive, not every time, but many times, to want our feedback, and almost every organization we interact with these days follows up with these annoying "How did we do?" questions. And if we ignore them, they ask again, and again, almost demandingly, as if we somehow owe them our time. But we don't. That's something that must be earned through trust. 

I am cautious around over-eager and invasive surveys.

PATHWAY FOR DEPARTURE

"I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes."

~ Sarah Teasdale ~

Runoff rain water has to have a pathway or it will take out whatever it encounters in a gushing rush. 

And perhaps the things we let go of also have to have a pathway, 

Or they will destroy the landscape,

or puddle up around us like a shower without a drain. 

So what's the pathway?

I guess that's up to us.

I envision what I let go of evaporating entirely, or dissolving in smoke and flames. 

EBB AND FLOW

"The tides are in our veins."

~ Robinson Jeffers ~

When we're in the right head space, we can find pleasure and comfort in any experience. 

I calmly cruise the river of life. 

TREE PROJECT: PART 2

"Anything simple always interests me."

~ David Hockney ~

My trees have attracted attention, comments, suggestions, and concerns: lot's of "Do I realize?" and "Am I aware?" kinds of inquiries- that they will need water in the summer, that there may have been a better way to plant them, that they are too close to the road, and that they will grow! And yes, and yes again. As mentioned in my last blog on the topic, this is a project and a partnership that will be ongoing and require care and adjustment. What's curious is how much people seem invested in giving them meaning and import and the power to shame. They're just a bunch of little trees.

Opinions are a dime a dozen and cloud the simplicity of truth. 

POLLUTANTS

"Always remember lost, so that you don't take for grated found."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

We can pick up negative energy such that it pollutes us, 

and it's no small work to break back into clarity and freedom, both hard won. 

So we would do best to be vigilant, 

discriminating, 

careful, 

and wise 

when we step, 

when we choose, 

when we navigate the internet, 

and when we move about in the world.

I conscientiously protect my inner state of grace.

STRUGGLE-FREE

"The powerful play goes on."

~ Walt Whitman ~

I have believed, in this lifetime, that anything worth having must be earned, and that the intensity of the struggle I go through somehow justifies the resulting prize, so I have struggled with a sense of nobility and import.
     And now, I see that I don't have to struggle at all. It's something I have imposed upon myself with my mind, and not the way things really are. Without any extreme effort on my part, the blessings in my life and the gifts I receive are beyond- far beyond- my most enthusiastic intentions and well exceed my wildest dreams.

Everything I want I have already.

WHO WE REALLY ARE

"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it."

~ George Moore ~

We are born as unconditioned possibility and pure consciousness- a field of awareness and sensation. 

And then we are given a name,

and exposed to the prejudices and opinions of the people around us.

Layers of likes and dislikes and 

self-defining features

are added to us.

The original empty awareness becomes clouded by them,

and we learn to identify so strongly with all that has been added that

we forget who we are at core.

If we can remember,

If we can discover the one who has been added to,

then we will find our

Untouchable state of peace.

I uncover my true self under layers and layers of opinions and attachment.