Friday, March 4, 2011


     It's an easy thing in life to get completely caught up in the pressure of so much to do and getting it all done. If I am filling each moment of my day with productivity, if the time when I am not working is equally full of projects and errands, I burn out. Vitality and spark are stripped from me. The tyranny of the urgent consumes everything. Instead of nearing completion and approaching rest, the more productive I am, the more productive I seem to need to be.
     I stopped everything yesterday afternoon and sat in the sun. I just sat, feeling the heat and the light. The futility of assigning such importance to all of my projects occurred to me. What do any of them really matter in the big picture?  Am I seeking approval, recognition, reward, love? Am I trying to achieve something specific, and if so, to what end? A few minutes in the early March sun fed me more than weeks of effort.
     Maybe the whole purpose of my life is to simply enjoy it. If there's no joy in my days because of the pressures and expectations I put on myself trying to achieve goals and complete tasks, perhaps I am missing the point. Productivity is satisfying, as is creative fufillment, but I must bring awareness to the energy I bring to what I am doing. Am I strung out, exhausted, and full of "have-to" feelings? If so, it's time for me to stop.
     The sun waits for me. A seat somewhere waits for me. I can pause for a few minutes and observe my surroundings. I can listen, and watch, and become quiet internally, with no "have-to," no "must," just the quiet and my senses. I am restored through awareness, and return to the activities of life refreshed. Projects, and my energy, have been returned to their right size.

I will pause today, and remember to enjoy my life.