SELF-FULFILLMENT

     I have learned that I cannot look to my partner to fulfill me. In a total life kind of way, I must come to him already fulfilled, whole, complete, and secure. I must know somewhere deep inside me that I can live without him, that being with him is a choice, and not a need. Two incomplete people coming together do not make for one complete person, let alone two, and need fosters feelings of suffocation and lockdown.
     I cannot be saved by another, or fixed, or even healed. I can be led there by example and support, but I must actively participate in my own journey, and claim for myself my own happiness. I can feel temporarily better in the company of someone who is self-fulfilled, but the work of becoming that way myself is mine alone. I must learn who I am. What feeds my spirit? What hampers my growth? What are my triggers, and how do I follow my bliss?
     I cannot communicate with others if I do not know what I feel. I must learn to honor myself, not some of the time, not by sneaking indulgences, but everyday. I don't have to apologize for the things I love. I don't have to apologize for the things I fear. I am enough. I am equal to whatever I am given to face. And if I know that, if I own that, if I allow myself to be, and travel with compassionate curiosity on the path of self-discovery, then healthy relationships are possible for me, and I can experience the real exchange of real love. It begins with me.

Today, I have the courage to be who I am without apology.