NO BULLIES ALLOWED

     Growing up I learned to avoid confrontation. Raised voices and angry people scared me. I preferred to take the blame even if it was not mine to take than to stand up and risk any kind of battle. I apolgized and slumped my shoulders before those who abused me. I took whatever was doled out and then slunk away after the storm to lick my wounds in private.
     I understand now that if I allow others to overpower me with their growling anger they become bigger and bigger. Apologies and ownership of blame do not diffuse the situation. They make bullies more aggressive. I must balance energy with energy. If someone comes at me strong and nasty, I must balance the strength with my "no." If someone rises up at me and I shrink, she rises up bigger, but if I rise up to meet her, she recedes. It's a kind of natural law, and I'm grateful to understand it, even if I'm not great at rising up.
     I need not get mad. I need not get quiet. I need only speak my truth with a firm voice, and indicate that my boundaries are steadfast and that I am ready and able to protect myself. It's empowering and important work. Being assertive is a gift to myself.

I will not shrink before aggression. I am equal to any bully.