I don't really know what anything means. That's the real truth. If I bring awareness to my insides, I can make a conscious decision to remain open minded and wait for more information before I crash and burn with "bad news." It feels scary to think that way. I have a lifetime of historical reactive behavior. I am utterly swept up by implied drama, by feelings of "Oh, my God! This is horrible! This is the worst possible thing." or else it's "Incredible! Awesome! I'm the luckiest person alive!"
I want to learn to live my life with equanimity and grace, to not get swept up in self-created tides of drama, to accept what comes and trust that it will serve it's purpose in my life, whatever that may be. I might need to learn a lesson in patience, or be ready for a new creative challenge, or have an opportunity to confront and disperse something difficult from my past that is holding me back. I believe that life is designed for growing, and that everthing happens for a reason, and that when I don't learn my lessons, they come at me harder and repeat themselves over and over until I accept them. I want to relax enough and trust enough that I can learn to accept them without struggle or angst. I want to accept them ever better as they come.
I will reserve my judgment today about everything that happens and who I meet. I will be neutral. I am willing to wait and see.
