I want to remember to slow down today. I have a tendency to rush through things in an effort to be efficient. Efficiency certainly has it's place, but it is not life's purpose, not by a long shot. Learning to linger is a form of art, learning to savor what is before me. If I move too fast, I miss the small satisfying sensations of life's details: the sound of eggs cooking in a pan, the gentle bubble of water boiling, or the image of steam rising from the tea kettle; the feel of fresh wind across my face and moving my hair.
Maybe I think if I keep a certain pace I will not only get more done, but also get more pleasure. It's an old philosophy of mine that if a little bit of anything feels good then more of it will surely feel even better. But it seems to be true more often than not that less is actually more. A few bites of ice cream rolled about my mouth and thoroughly enjoyed, noticing the creamy texture and the sweetness and the soothing comfort as it travels down my throat, is far more satisfying than a massive hot fudge sundae with brownies and cookie dough and whipped cream on top. It's almost a chore to get through such a dessert. I am more likely to eat compulsively and indulgently, to get through it, knowing it is too much, but hoping that if I slip it by myself fast enough, there will be no repurcussions, no guilty feeling, and no sudden thickness across my hips.
Webster's definition of "rush" interests me: a violent forward motion, a sudden insitent demand; to urge to an unnatural or extreme speed; to run toward or against in attack; to push or impell on or forward with speed, impetuosity, or violence; and the first rapid excitation produced by a narcotic drug. The last definition may be what I somehow hope to attain through rushing- a sense of rapid excitation, a kind of narcotic "high"... but it always seems to degrade into urgency and impetuosity and a frenetic fear that there is not enough time to get done everything that I have to get done.
Savoring, on the other hand, is to have the experience of; to taste or smell with pleasure: to relish: to delight in and enjoy. That's what I want today. I want to savor the sunshine and the taste of my dinner and the exchange of laughter and conversation with the people I encounter. It's doable. I need only become mindful and aware. I can direct my attention to each present moment and relish in the sensation of each experience.
