HONORING THE TRUTH

     I create a lot of un-necessary hardship in my life by trying to convince myself that I can be ok with something I am fundamentally not ok with, and that I can alter the way I think about something by a sheer force of my will. If only I were a more evolved person, surely I could find a way to be ok with almost anything; if I were more spiritually fit, if I were more relaxed. But try as I might, the result is not what I hope for. My body acts out what my mind will not acknowledge, and I experience aches and pains. I clench my jaw. And ultimately, I get sick.
     If something does not sit comfortably within me, I may not be able to change it. I may be uncomfortable with it for a very good reason that I cannot pretend away. If I want to experience peace within and peace without, I have to be honest about the discomfort I feel. I need to speak about it. I need to own it. I need to stand up and honor my truth. I cannot run away from it. I cannot turn a blind eye. I cannot act as if it is not my truth because it's scary to face. If I do, it will squeeze itself out sideways one way or another, and ultimately manifest in some kind of suffering.
     It is not my job or responsibility to be a martyr. I don't have to suffer so that others can enjoy. There is room to accommodate all feelings on all sides. There is a place for each position to be heard and acknowledged, worked with, and considered. If I don't want the suffering, I have to find the courage to be honest, with myself, and with everyone else. It's the only answer in the end. It's the only dignified way to live. I have to listen to the voices of my soul. They are there for a reason.

I honor my gut feelings and the whisperings of my soul. I do not ignore them in hopes that they will go away. I have the courage to feel what I feel and to speak honestly from the heart.