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Friday, October 28, 2011

THE NEED FOR FRESH STARTS

     We can see a thing partially and believe we are seeing it whole and absolute. We can make decisions based on our limited vision and feel good about them, and wise. But when the truth reveals itself to us, when elements of the situation that we have not seen become seen, there is no way to un-see them and return to our innocence and naivete.
     In this way, our thoughts and opinions about things can swing wildly from one side to the other. What seemed like a solution is suddenly a problem. What was right is now wrong. The promise of positive evolution turns out to be stagnant and corrupt. And things can move in the opposite direction as well, from negative to positive, but it's less likely. Mostly we see things as better than they really are, and more ideal, because that is the way we want them to be. Our wishful thinking blinds us to reality.
     But once we have clear sight, it's important to be honest. It's ok to admit that we've made a mistake, and to turn in a fresh direction. We are human. We are supposed to make mistakes. Inordinate amounts of suffering in life occur because we refuse to admit our errors, and stubbornly insist that even if something isn't exactly what we hoped it would be, we can still live with it. We convince ourselves that we can make it work... even if it's fairly obvious that we cannot.
     I believe our evolution in life is largely demonstrated by our ability to recognize when we have misjudged a situation, and gotten ourselves into something that is not good for us. And then, once recognized, the speed with which we are able to cut our losses and walk away seems to measure our maturity. We waste so much time and effort resolutely trying to force things to be ok and to make things work that clearly aren't and can't and won't.

It is appropriate and ok that I make errors in judgment and mis-steps and big mistakes. As a human being that is what I am supposed to do. That's how I learn.