APPROACHING CHRISTMAS

     I used to hate Christmas. There were always things about it that I enjoyed, but they were trumped by the incredible pressure I felt over so much to do. I have twins that were born December 28th, so when they were young I felt the need to do Gala Birthday parties in addition to Christmas, and to send cards to practically everyone I'd ever known, and bake cookies and decorate them meticulously, and hand-make presents, and orchestrate enormous and complicated surprises for everyone on my list. By the time I got to New Years I was a shell of myself- pushed beyond every reasonable limit- fat, exhausted, and utterly sick of celebrating. I used to gripe about the commercialism and the crowds, the music and decorations coming too entirely early, and I felt irritated by all kinds of things to do with Christmas. I took on a kind of poor-me martyr role over all of my self-imposed have-tos.
     I always wanted to simplify things, but I never knew how. I didn't want to disappoint anyone so I overdid on every front. But as my children have grown, and I have grown up a bit myself, I am learning to welcome the soft beauty of Christmas, and feel the festivity of the music, and lights, and decorations, without any of the old pressure.
     If I slow down enough to feel and appreciate it, this is a magical time of year. And what we are celebrating after all is the birth of love and forgiveness in our world. What joy in that! And I truly enjoy all of the Christmas songs and age-old hymns, the lights, the pretty wrappings and ribbons, the colors of Christmas and the good food and traditions. It's a sensational feast every day of the month. Christmas is not just a day, it's a season. Let's be joyful and playful and patient and appreciative for the whole thing! Let's not miss any of it with pressure or angst. Let's go with the flow and enjoy every bit of the ride.

I feel the spirit of Christmas within me, and carry it there every day of the season. I am filled up with love!