THE DOMAIN OF GOD

"Healing from grief is allowing the courage and purpose within you and the love someone else left you, to merge and create a new sense of being."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

As individual as it may seem, grief is universal. 

We all know it. 

We all feel it. 

It's part of being human and impermanence. 

We are born to die and love to lose what we love. 

And heart-wrenching as this may be, it's not all bad. 

It is our deep grief that grows compassion in us, 

and compassion 

is the domain of God 

and Grace 

and the root of all 

that is most beautiful in life. 

My grief is as universal as it is personal.

I am not alone. 

HALLOWEEN AGAIN

"There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch."

~ Robert Brault ~

It's Halloween again.

Another year of bats and witches and costumes and Trick or Treat.

The tradition of it is glorious, and

The cuteness of little kids supreme. 

I celebrate this day!

THE PRICE OF FREEDOM

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it."

~ Thomas Paine ~

We carry around energy from the past without even realizing we are carrying it, and then wonder why we feel so weighted down. All the ways we've repressed emotions, the silences we've kept when we would have done better to speak up, having pretended to be ok with things when we weren't really ok with them- this is the build up- like plaque on our teeth- and every so often we need to get at it and break it up so we can live free. 

I am willing to see what I might prefer not to see. 

SPIRIT IN THE ROOM

"It is as well for cheerfulness as for warmth and dryness."

~ HD Thoreau ~

A fire in a fireplace is pure deliciousness.

It satisfies the senses,

Evokes well-being,

Feels cozy

And brings spirit into the room.

A crackling hearth fire soothes my soul.

BURIAL

"A human life is a story told by God."

~ Hans Christian Anderson ~

My Cousin Nat was buried last Friday, and he went out in high style.

A Dixieland Jazz band playing slow, soulful music led a horse drawn cart with his coffin up the long farm driveway to the front porch.

A mix of prayers and psalms and songs, all chosen by him in his lifetime, were his final farewell.

And then the band led the cart and my Cousin Nat down the driveway for the last time, 

to the family graveyard three miles distant, 

where a bagpiper on a hillside called him home.

Back at the farm, on the front porch, the band continued to play late into the night, 

and it was hard to walk away. 

I started to leave, and then sat in my car with the windows down just listening to the music- 

listening with my whole body and my whole heart- 

feeling nostalgic, feeling grateful, and feeling that sweet sadness I have come to know- 

for the ending of something that we have once held dear, 

and the sorrow of that loss. 

I take nothing for granted. 

A FEW MINUTES NO MORE

"Well done is better than well said."

~ Ben Franklin ~

I am always on time when it really matters, but I have gotten a bit sloppy when my appointments don't feel so obviously critical, and I'm tired of being a few minutes (5...10?) late. It lacks respect and integrity and affects the way I feel about myself as well. So let this be my testimony and intention: no more. Barring an act of God, I will arrange my schedule in such a way as to be consistently prompt.

I make it a priority to be on time. 

SOCIAL MEDIA

"I have an almost religious zeal- not for technology per se, but for the Internet which is for me the nervous system of mother earth, which I see as a living creature, linking up."

~ Dan Millman ~

Some people like to gripe about Facebook like they gripe about the weather, and it seems pretty normal to feel a certain condescension for posts of dinner plates full of food. And yet, if we have a broad spectrum of friends, Facebook is also a source for amazing photographs of people and places, inspiring videos, enlightening information, and updates on growing children and grandchildren and weddings and deaths and points of true interest. So let's remember to express some appreciation for Facebook as well; for all the wonderful ways it expands and enriches our lives.

I quit complaining and appreciate Facebook. 

FAR AND NEAR

"A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye."

~ Samuel Grafton ~

The awe inspiring effect of fall leaves is best captured from a distance. As we approach a brilliantly bright tree and stand beneath it, we observe that the leaves up close don't feel at all the same. They are duller somehow. And maybe our life and other people's lives are like that also- glittering and luminescent - but only from afar.

I understand that a shift in perspective can change the whole picture. 

TAKING A BREATH

"You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by."

~ JM Barrie ~

Life is busy. Let us deeply enjoy and appreciate the mornings, the afternoons, and the days, if we have any, that are free from deadlines and appointments.

I savor my unscheduled time. 

TOO MUCH CONCERN

"Give to every human being every right that you claim for yourself."

~ Robert Ingersoll ~

Small children, old people, the infirm- 

we must afford them their dignity and not spill our concern all over them like a drowning pool; 

for not one of us wants to be molly-coddled, 

or treated like we are helpless or pitiable, 

even though we may in fact be. 

I grant special needs individuals the dignity and respect they deserve.

FICKLE WEATHER

"Autumn is the season of change."

~ Taoist Proverb ~

Adjusting our body temperatures this time of year can be tricky. 

It's cold, then warm, then cold again. 

The sun and the wind battle for power and each has their winning moment. 

We heat up. 

We cool down. 

We feel freezing, and then realize it's not so cold as we think.

Fresh air through the windows is glorious,

And yet, we might need to turn on the heat.

We might want to light a fire.

And then we feel too hot.

It's a time of transition.

Everything is in flux.

And so, there's nothing to do but go with it 

And flow with it,

And wear layers,

And enjoy the ride.

I love the fall!

CONFESSION

"It's emotion and love, passion and compassion. 
Heart, heart, heart, heart, it's the center of everything."

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger ~

Open hearted, courageous conversation will clear whatever is clogged in a relationship. 

It clears blame and sorrow and hurt feelings and victimization and anger and misunderstanding.

It clears made up stories.

It clears fear of the future and leftover emotion from the past.

It clears us for compassion.

It clears us for connection.

And it clears the path back to love.

I am willing to share my inner self with another to free us both.

SERIOUS BUSINESS

"I have looked through the list of illnesses, and did not find cares or sad thoughts mentioned among them. That is a mistake, surely."

~ Georg Christoph Lichtenberg ~

We do ourselves a great dis-service by taking ourselves and our life circumstances too seriously. To lose our sense of humor and the lightness of our being is cumbersome and weighty, and our interactions with others become unforgiving and intense.
     Let's keep things easy and breezy instead, and drop the burden of whatever it is we've picked up as soon as we realize we have it in our grip.

I let go of mental and emotional heaviness and enjoy my life.

HIGHS AND LOWS

"Only in quiet waters things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world."

~ Hans Margolius ~

Any kind of heightened emotional expenditure, whether for pleasure or challenge, takes its toll. We rally through with genuine laughter or nervous tension and at the end are wiped out and need recovery time.
     There may be a sense that anything enjoyable should rejuvenate us, and perhaps it does, but the immediate aftermath does seem to require rest and retreat, just like emotional ordeals do. It's a process to integrate whatever has happened and all the ways it may have rocked us, or lifted us, or swung us around.

Life requires that we take time to integrate emotionally energetic experiences. 

THE SUBTLETY OF THE SEASON

"I am struck by the simplicity of light..."

~ HD Thoreau ~

We look for fall color to be dramatic and impress us strongly with its glory and brilliance; and yet, so much of autumn beauty is subtle. Yellow and rusty colored grasses, gently falling leaves and leaves on the ground already fallen, the shorter days, the feel of the wind; wood smoke, honking geese, red weed stalks, bits of colored dripping vines, crisp mornings and cool evenings, the angle of the light-all these subtleties and others like them are as satisfying in their own way as the trees that shiver us with their glorious, showstopping luminescence.

I pay attention to experience the fall. 

GRUFF

"Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that."

~ Micheal Leunig ~

Gruff's Birthday is this Sunday, and it's an honor and a privilege to celebrate with him! He's a fierce-hearted man with a gentle nature, equally suited to wield a chainsaw and nurture a baby chick. He's the best of friends, the master of problem solving, and a true Renaissance man.
     His humor, his integrity, his talent, and his great capacity for love make him a partner extraordinaire, and I am blessed and grateful to share life with him, and conversation, and laughter, and challenge, and adventure, and vision, and silliness, and whatever the day serves up!

I pause to celebrate the one I love.  

THE SLOW PROCESS

"Trust is the mother of deceit."

~ English Proverb ~

Sometimes trust is instantaneous and feels immediately secure, and other times it builds slowly over time by degree. And perhaps, the second kind is more reliable in the end, for how often have our spontaneous trusting instincts been mistaken?

I learn to trust one little bit at a time. 

RELIEF

"The quality of mercy is not strained; it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath."

~ William Shakespeare ~

Rain, after a long period of drought, is a deep and sacred blessing for the earth and all who live upon it; and rain that is steady and gentle and soaking is a delicious gift beyond measure.

I welcome the nurturing rain!

THE GREAT TRANSPORTER

"Life is the game that must be played."

~ Edwin Arlington Robinson ~

What matters most changes as we evolve, at least, it does for me.

I used to run from things I now seek.

I used to struggle with things that I have now mastered.

I used to think family was a bit inconvenient at best, and now it feeds my soul.

Change is the rule, so if you don't like where you are, stick around.

Life is the great transporter

And carries us from here to somewhere else.

I recognize and appreciate my changing taste. 

1,2,3 GO!

"Courage is a love affair with the unknown."

~ Osho ~

Sometimes we just have to say yes- to do it- in spite of our resistance, our fear, and all the different ways our desire to not do it might manifest. We can trust that once we have committed, then the activity itself will support our next move, and our next one, and break us out of inertia and into flow and rhythm, and the unexpected joy of taking on something we weren't going to do at all.

I am willing to take a risk to experience something new. 

BONUS BLOG: LIFE SKILLS CURRICULUM IDEA

"An educational system isn't worth a great deal if it teaches young people how to make a living, but doesn't teach them how to make a life."

~ Author Unknown ~

I deeply believe in the need for and value of life skills education in the classroom. Learning how to set boundaries, manage difficult emotions, be present, form good habits- these are arguably as important as math and history, and possibly even more so. In an effort to further this idea and move it into the realm of reality, I agreed to participate in an interview series with Laura Durance, founder of The Up Inc, a nonprofit organization committed to changing education in this way.

     The series is not just for students, however. It's for all of us! 

If you're curious to know more, want to do your part to further life skills education in the classroom, and/or want to participate/listen to one or all of the interviews, click HERE.

Let's teach our kids to live well!

I can make a difference in the world. 

LIFE

"Life is good."

 

Life is unpredictable:

Sometimes chaotic,

Sometimes electric,

and sometimes serene.

But whatever life may be

in any given moment

the underlying current is

grounded, and centered,

and rooted,

and good.

I may not always feel grounded, but I am.

My roots run deep.

THE ERROR OF ASSUMPTION

"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment."

~ Rumi ~

It's the obvious thing to do to assume that others, especially others that we know and respect, are just like us in terms of what they need, what's healing, what feels good, what hurts, and what helps. We assume that our experience of the world is also their experience, that our indignation is also their indignation, and that our joy is their joy.
     And yet, that's simply not the way it is. When we sincerely listen to others for understanding in conversion, we discover a broader view, their true perspective, and the exciting terrain of uncommon ground.

I don't pretend to know what others like and don't like and want and don't want. I let them show me and tell me and trust them when they do. 

NO NEED FOR GUILT

"I stifle my heart, and awaken in the night to hear it moaning."

~ Muriel Strode ~

We don't have to feel guilty. 

That's something we take on, or don't. 

It's our choice. 

Life can be so much more straightforward than we let it be. 

If we screw up, we can make it right. 

We don't have to trail around a lot of unfinished business. 

We can finish it, and move on.

I keep my relationships clear of emotional debris.