GRATITUDE

     It's so easy- too easy almost- to take things for granted; exceptional things like our good health and our best friends, our spouses and children, our siblings and parents, our income. We are flippant and cavalier, as if there are assurances, as if we have some kind of guarantee.
     And sadly, it often takes a loss of some kind to wake us up and make us appreciative. Anything and everything can be stripped from us in a split second. What we bank on is tenuous as a spider's web. The only answer for the fragility of our lives is gratitude, gratitude here and now and every moment of every day.

I take nothing for granted. I appreciate what I have.

ACCEPTING THE WHOLE SELF

     I have been resisting myself- my feelings and my physical limitations, my have-to mentality, my need to keep moving, and my moods. It's a bewildering thing to realize- that I am at war with myself; that I have been angry with my body for its aches and pains, for having a cold, for headaches and cramps and whatever the day might serve up. It's ridiculous. It makes me all out of whack.
     I need to come into integrity with myself, to accept all of me as me. I am not only lofty thoughts and high spiritual experiences. I am base and human, in need of sleep and tenderness. I require healing and hot showers, and an occasional medical solution. I cannot push on without stopping and expect my body to rally at a break-neck pace forever. I need rest and recovery and a whole lot of appreciation for the totality of who I am. We all do.
     Let's accept our whole selves, and be kind and loving with our ailments.

I am grateful for my physical discomforts. They remind me that I am body as much as spirit, and in need of ongoing physical care.

THE MOTIONS

     Some days are better than others. Some days we are on top of our game and some days we would do better to crawl under a rock. We feel the need to retreat from the world and spend a day in our pajamas and lick our wounds... but our responsibilities call us to action, and we have to keep on, and keep on, and keep on. And though we may resist it, the truth is, that taking care of all that we have to take care of, and going through the motions that we have to go through, is ultimately the very thing that keeps us afloat.

I am grateful for the motions of my life. They keep me going against all odds.

    

LIFE'S SAVING GRACE

     The one certainty of life is that it goes on, no matter what, and carries us with us. Some days we are willing to go with the flow and enjoy the ride, and some days we dig in our heels with angst and dismay. But life carries us anyway. It doesn't care that we resist. It carries us through difficulties and past hardship and across time. Life always seems to find a way to bless us in the end.

I trust in the far side of sickness and emotional storms. I recover eventually, and feel grateful to be alive and well.

RESISTING THE NEW

     Why do we resist what's new? Even if the old is worn out and not working? Maybe because we are comfortable with the old and we know what to expect. We know how to play our angle and we can speculate accurately about reactions and outcomes. We are settled in and comfortable. We have made our peace.
    With new people and new situations we are off balance and unsure. But rather than admit our fears and uncertainties we prefer to spew hostility. We pre-judge. We condemn in advance. But we needn't. Let's look for the best in all that comes our way, and keep an open mind. Let's allow for opportunity and growth and evolution. Everything comes to teach us a lesson.

I feel resistance when facing something new in my life and let it go. I open with curiosity to whatever is there.

ADMITTING LIMITATIONS

     It's hard for me to admit that I have limitations. I believe in all possibility and I have a sense of spiritual greatness within, but I have physical, human realities that hold me back, and keep me in check. I get tired. I get sore. I am susceptible to changing hormones and colds and less than a good night of sleep. I feel fear and doubt. I have unhealthy patterns of belief.
     And yet, I have moments where I can glimpse what's beyond the realm of what I can see, and it's beautiful and unlimited and I want it all the time. But I have to work within the parameters of daily living, and time constraints, and physical stopping points, and most of the time, that's ok. There's beauty in all of that too.
     Where I get in trouble is when the endless possibilities and the short term realities clash like titans inside of me, and I become torn and conflicted emotionally, not understanding how the two can share the same space. I think it has to be one or the other. But it doesn't, and it isn't. It's both and all. It's side by side and everything matters, and there's a time and a place and a reason for all of it, even if I don't always understand.

I trust that everything I feel can coexist peacefully within me, and all of it together makes me who I am.

CONTROL FREAK

     I make myself sick trying to control things. I resist what I don't want and what I don't like as if my sheer resistance will change the facts. But my resistance only makes me edgy and irritable and rigid all over. It is a fine art to know when to surrender and when to exert my will. And the truth is, even when it's the right thing to stand up and make an effort and make a change, I cannot do it with force and angst. Grace must be the underlying principle, if I want to be calm on the inside. I get too attached to outcomes and way too intense.
     If something is meant to be, I believe it will happen, whether I come at it like a dog at the bone or a bubbling creek; and if something is not meant to be, no amount of my urging and pushing and forcing and stressing will make it happen any sooner or any way at all. So I can let go and ease up. I can trust the path and keep following my inclinations, and do a little bit stress-free, and then a little bit more.

I am tired of holding on to everything so tightly. I am willing to loosen my grip.