STRAIGHT UP

"Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and ye shall find."

~Matthew 7:7~

 

No matter how strong we feel on the inside, I think it's possible, and easy even, to be vague on the outside. We hope for things. We hint at them and make subtle suggestions. But we rarely have the courage to simply ask, in a straightforward manner, for exactly what we want.

     Maybe we pretend that we don't really want what we want, that whatever happens will be ok. And everything will be ok- that's a given- but it's still helpful to be clear with ourselves, with others, and with God. A sincere free-from-whining "please" is a much stronger position to come from than shuffling our feet around and pretending that we don't care... when we do.

I am clear about what I want and ask for it without apology.

GOOD BEHAVIOR

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it."

~David Star Jordan~

 

Getting drunk, over-indulging in food, shopping to excess, sleeping around- all of these things may seem like solutions to the problems of our lives, but they are not, and they never will be. It's not possible to feel good in life unless we behave well. One leads to the other. The law of cause and effect is always in play.

     So not getting drunk, eating in moderation, saving our money, and choosing our intimate partners with care are the types of things that will actually solve our problems.

     Let's get honest about this. We are so easily, and so willingly misled.

 

I have integrity. I respect myself and behave in ways that make me feel good.

BUILDING INFRASTRUCTURE

"Stubbornly persist, and you will find that the limits of your stubbornness go well beyond the stubbornness of your limits."

~Robert Brault~

 

Life is less about achievement than it is about the next step. We reach goals by degree and evolve in layers, not leaps. Everything is a building process. We have to establish firm footing first, and then slowly rise upwards. A finished product without the benefit of a strong infrastructure and slow growth is vulnerable to wreckage and dissolution.

     To build something that will last is to not take any shortcuts. It's to stay on course and keep our faith for however long it takes and against all odds. Chances are that the strength of our structure will be equal to the time and effort we have put in, so we needn't be impatient and pushy. All we need to do is to take the next step, and then the next one as they come.

Life is a process and I don't ever arrive anywhere worthwhile all at once. I arrive by degrees with the completion of each successive step.

A WORLD OF UNCERTAINTY

"To teach how to live with uncertainty, yet without being paralyzed by hesitation, is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy can do."

~Bertrand Russell~

Waiting for an answer regarding something we care about deeply is a test of patience and faith. It might go the way we want it to or it might not. Living with the possibility of either outcome is an emotional balancing act of the highest order. Whatever is decided will steer us in our next direction, but coming to terms with not knowing is a psychological endeavor. We talk ourselves from one side of the coin to the other and back again. But we can't know until we know.

    

I long for definitive answers insofar as I can have them, but life teaches me over and over that nothing is ever as certain as I think.

RUN-AWAY EXPECTATIONS

"Oft, expectation fails, and most oft where it most promises..."

 ~William Shakespeare~

What people will agree to "in theory;" what they will agree to do, to say, to bequeath, to remove, they are not necessarily willing to do. When a real decision is presented to them, a real opportunity to follow through on their talk, their idea, or their verbal commitment, we can watch with fascination as they make excuses and start to pedal backwards. Sometimes they are polite about it, and sometimes not.
     I have spent more time in my life than I care to admit counting on what can't really be counted on, and believing people at their literal word. I take casual, theoretical conversation as fact, and then feel disappointed when reality doesn't pan out as I've anticipated. I can save myself a lot of angst if, going forward, I catch my expectations before they run away with me instead of after the fact.

I stop myself from banking on what is only a done deal in theory. Nothing is done until it's done.

THE JOY OF WEEKENDS

"Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath." 

~Lynden B. Johnson~

I am so grateful for weekends, for the freedom of time off and not having to travel up and down the road. Every time Friday cycles around again and accomplishment and exhaustion mix with the suspension of my daily grind, my whole body feels the relief.
     I don't mind working hard. I enjoy it. But I sure do appreciate a couple of days off.

I am thankful for the cyclical relief of weekends every time they come around.

SADNESS

"Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light."

~Jean Giraudoux~

Sometimes I'm just sad, and that's ok. It's a free-floating kind of sadness- for exhaustion, for pain, for effort expended and opportunities missed. I feel sad for all of the suffering of humanity, and for the travails of our beautiful trash-wracked earth.
     But something sweet always come along to restore my hope- something rich and fertile and natural and sublime- something full of life, and full of beauty, and full of loving vibration.

     At moments such as these, life is sad and beautiful at the same time.

 

I accept sadness when it bubbles up. It balances the sweetness and enriches my life.