IN-BETWEEN TIME

"For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's winds await another voice." 

~TS Eliot ~

It always feels like a bit of a feat to have made it through Christmas intact. There is so much hope and build-up, so many possibilities for drama and hurt feelings, so much rich food, flowing alcohol, and need for appreciation. And yet, like waves in the ocean, the energy of it all rises up, and then recedes. And often, it is in the passing of it, that it feels most sweet. There is an aftermath feeling of relaxation that is unequaled any other time of the year- a lingering, lounging, almost languishing kind of stretched-out feeling that lasts until New Year's Eve.
     So let's enjoy this week for the down-time it offers. Let's reflect on what's past and think about our forthcoming journey. Let's pause and consider and be thoughtful and extra-aware. This is sacred time between the old and the new.

I relish this week between Christmas and New Years!

GROWING UP

"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around- and why his parents will always wave back. "

~William D. Tammeus ~

December 28th is an important and magical day in our family, and this year, particularly so. Sienna and Nick, who are twins, turn 21 this year. Legal, official, and fully adult, and yet still so young, and forever my babies. I remember them each at every age- learning to walk, year by year through elementary school, middle school, high school, college... And now they stand before me in all of their stature and glory; driven in the directions they are called- beautiful souls- inspired, bright, creative, and capable beyond their own knowing.
     My role now is more as a witness and less as a guide. Sienna is Fire, and Nick is Earth. They are power and wisdom and potential unleashed. May they be blessed as they travel forth, and may all of our children be blessed. May they follow their hearts and live from their guts. May they be authentic, loving, wise, and true.

     It is my distinct privilege as a parent to love my children without conditions, and to believe in them as they evolve.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts." 

~ JLW Broks ~

Food. Presents. Personalities coming together and mingling with loving intention in spite of clashing points-of-view. The desire to be honest, but not to stir the pot. Wanting everyone to be happy and get along. Music in the background. Soft and beautiful Christmas Tree. Bursting emotions held mostly in check. Gratitude. Unexpected happiness and laughter. Love and more love all tangled up with misunderstanding.

     The possibilities for this day are endless. Let's not pre-judge it, or tether ourselves to hope or sour grapes. Let's just experience the day, however it comes, and welcome it as blessing no matter what happens or how anyone else may behave or react.

I accept this day with joy!

CHRISTMAS EVE

"A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;

It makes no noise at all,

But softly gives itself away."

~ Eva Logue ~

And so it begins. Here we are, having come around to Christmas Eve yet again. All of our Christmas memories pile upon us like ghosts freed from hiding, and they are wrapped up with songs and traditions and expectations and fear.
     Compassion is the word of the day- compassion for ourselves and for all those we encounter. There is magic in the air, but also emotional disturbance, amped up energy, and heightened tension. So let's go easy today. Let's watch and smile and be curious. Let's not push. Let's not force our agendas. Let's just be, and be open, and let come to us whatever comes, and be an instrument of peace and grounding, and deep patient love.

I am calm, curious, and compassionate. I welcome Christmas with all of its possibility.

SOCIAL SINCERITY

"Like other parties of the kind, it was first silent, then talky, then argumentative, then disputations, then unintelligible, then altogether, then inarticulate, and then drunk. When we had reached the last step of this glorious ladder, it was difficult to get down again without stumbling." 

~Lord Byron ~

Even with all of the socializing and gift giving and receiving that happens this time of year, we can still be authentically ourselves. We needn't posture and pretend and wear fake smiles and speak insincerely. We can be gracious. We can be comfortable in our own skins. We don't have to over indulge in alcohol or special holiday attire, or douse ourselves with too much perfume or cologne. We can just be who we are and show up however we are feeling.
     It's a refreshing gift to all those around us to be natural and unapologetic, to be ok with our imperfections and to express whatever it is that we're feeling. If our hearts are open, even our struggles and messy emotions will be understood and appreciated as pure love.

No matter the time of year or social event, I can always be exactly who I am. I don't have to drink or put on airs for anyone.

SEASONAL SADNESS

"The Christmas bells from hill to hill

Answer each other in the mist." 

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson ~

Mixed in with all of the holiday cheer, a sense of low lying sadness lingers. I am aware of it, and feel it in my bones. Our losses are more acute in times of celebration and our hearts more open to the subtleties of pain.

I patiently allow for sadness inside me, and observe how it mixes itself up with joy and anticipation. 

CAN'T PLEASE THEM ALL

"To each his own." 

~ Cicero ~

It's a challenge in life to focus on the positive effect that we have on the world, and not on all of those who do not "get" us or our message. I tend to absorb the discounting of who I am and what I'm all about by those who simply can't be bothered. Not to take it personally- that's the thing to work toward.
     We live in a world that is busy with distraction and an overabundance of guidance and information. I have to trust that I will touch those who I am meant to touch, and be touched by others in the same way. Life is a learning journey, and much of our learning comes from the way that we relate- or don't- to those around us.

Some will share my path, and some will be on a different path entirely, and either way, it's ok.