RESTORATION

     I have been derailed a bit of late. I became so overwhelmed with fear about possible future scenarios and all the ways things might turn out badly, that I forgot about all the gifts that are present and active every day in my life. It's easy to become blind to them, too easy; too easy to get lost in judgments and criticisms and worrying and projection, in the rush and busyness of errands and timed appointments and all that has to get done, in doubt and old stuff bubbling up, in mindgames and fantasy resentments.
     And yet, all the while, in spite of my veering recklessly to the right and left of serenity, good things have happened, and good people have appeared to spread their love, and I have heard messages that I need, and I have been given time to recover the path... once I was ready to recover it. It took a certain amount of distance down the darkly twisted road before I remembered the other way, the way that feeds my spirit with open space and expansive views of curving mountains, the way that inspires me to higher thoughts and creative possibility.
     I am grateful to be back on that path just now, and aware again of all the positives of living, the small awakenings, delicious tastes, and touching exchanges. I am grateful for weekends, and date night, and good reading material, and just the right song at just the right moment. I am grateful for heartfelt communication and intellectual pursuit, for hot tea and Jay Leno. I am grateful for humor and flexibility and hillsides blooming with purple phlocks. I am grateful to be here and grateful to be me. It's a far distance from the space I was in a few days ago and all last week. There's nothing like a bit of journaling and meditation to bring me back to peace.

I will remember to be grateful today.