THE WEEDS OF DOUBT

     Doubt has an oozing and pervasive quality to it. I find that once the energy of it is engaged in me, it spreads to all things. I doubt myself. I doubt the motivations of others. I doubt goodness and security. I doubt the path I am traveling and my instincts and decisions. It is a place of suspicion and fear. It is darkness, and blind; a betrayal of my deepest loyalties, and absolute lack of trust. It is a space I prefer not to occupy, but find difficult to break out of.
     Faith is doubt's balancing point, and somehow fills in all the cracks. Faith makes it unimportant to understand every detail. It calms and soothes. It assures and promises. It is the surety that all is happening according to some greater plan. It nudges me gently and restores my unrest. But it is not immune and not untouchable. It can be suffocated by choking vines of doubt. Doubt must be weeded out regularly or it will overgrow everything.
     When in doubt, my instinct is to grab for control and combust into a million splinters of fear and catastrophic thinking, but that is not my only choice. I can open to guidance. I can get still and breathe deeply. I can return to center and trust that which understands all, trust the process of my life, and the lessons of my life experiences. I can trust that I will understand when I am meant to understand, and learn what I am meant to learn. I can experience peace and travel the road without fear.

I choose faith today, and have the courage to lay down my doubts.