"Everyone thinks about changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
It's so hard to know that someone we love is suffering in some way and to equally know that there is nothing we can do to help them- not unless they share their suffering with us. We are all so good at suffering alone. We pretend to be fine. We tell people what we think they want to hear. And sometimes we even convince ourselves that all is well.. even when we know somewhere within us... that it's not.
And the last thing we are willing to do is admit we're in over our heads and ask for help. We make ourselves handle it. We operate on nerves and fumes and push beyond all reasonable limits. And we go farther and farther until we can go no more. And sometimes, then, we will reach out our hand for assistance, and sometimes, even then, we will not. There's nothing anyone can do for us until we are ready and willing to do something for ourselves.
I can't help anyone else unless they want my help, and ask for it, but I can always help myself. And that is my main job.