CONTROL FREAK

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

~Theodore Roosevelt ~

When I try to control everything and punish myself for not knowing what I can't know, I exhaust myself. My lack of faith and compassion are a serious liability. Recognizing this, I commit to do the best I can, where I can, and let go of all the rest.

I stop trying to control what I can't control.

REMEMBERING THE BIG PICTURE

"Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong."

~ Peter T. McIntyre ~

When my body is tense and constricted, I am often not even aware of the thing that has me all locked up. It's more of a vague and general kind of insecurity than something specific- a lack of confidence- and a sense of life being too much to handle.
     I am afraid to screw up, to make the wrong choice, to create some kind of irredeemable error with the gifts I have been given, and it's all out of proportion, because whatever I choose and decide, it doesn't matter much in the big picture, and what I do or don't do is not a measure of who I am.
   

I make the best choices I can with the information I have.

THE PLEASURE OF LIFE

"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."

~ Mark Twain ~

Our life experience is endlessly entertaining if we allow ourselves to be light, and keep our sense of humor. So many ridiculous things happen in the course of a day. Mostly, we tend to react with frustration and irritation, but there's another way- the not taking ourselves too seriously way- that allows us to travel with ease, pleasure, and a sense of rich enjoyment. And why shouldn't this be the way we choose? It's so much more satisfying than being stressed.

I wear life like a loose fitting garment.

FLOWER PETALS

"The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks."

~Tennessee Williams ~

Plans unfold like flower petals, and can't be forced open, or the flower is destroyed.

I am patient.

NOT KNOWING

"Our dream dashes itself against the great mystery like a wasp against a window pane..."

~Jules Renard ~

Not knowing is to be expected, and yet, we insist upon knowing anyway. We insist upon goal-setting and clear vision. We insist upon our path forward and the next step. But sometimes, life is nothing but murky and we have to make peace with being fogged in, even if we don't like it, and even if that's not the way we want it to be.

When I don't know what to do, I simply don't know what to do, and that's all there is to it.

When the time is right, I will know.

INNER RESTLESSNESS

"In every walk with Nature, one receives far more than s/he seeks."

~ John Muir ~

Inner restlessness arrives unbidden and leaves in its own sweet time. Our job is to recognize it, welcome it as a teacher, and take it out for a walk.

I exercise to release tension.

FANTASY LIVING

"People don't like the true and simple; they like fairy tales and humbug."

~ Edmond de Goncourt ~

We create ideal situations in our minds that don't, or can't, work out in reality, and there's generally a let down feeling- a loss- when we realize that our imagination has us hoodwinked.
     Dealing in reality is our highest level of productivity. Action in the moment, each moment, far outweighs figuring out solutions in our heads, and yet, that's what we do. We figure and plan. We think, and think, and think some more.
     Perhaps, going forward, when we're faced with a problem, we would do better to leave our thinking minds at home and step out into the world to discover what's really there.

I stay in the moment and remind myself regularly that fantasizing about the future is a let-down, guaranteed.