I have accumulated shame over the years in the fact that I need my time and space alone, and have surreptitiously snuck it in bits and pieces, sure that my universe would never support me in my "selfish" desire. But I feel differently about it these days. It really is something I need for my health and well-being. Solitude restores me and replenishes me. I am not a loner, or an isolationist. I am, in fact, a people person. I love people! I love their company and humor and perspective on life that is different from my own. I need people too, and I know that. I need people and I need time alone. I need both. It's a balance.
I used to grab for solitude, make plans for it and protect it secretly and aggressively because I was afraid to simply assert my need for it. I was sure that others would not approve. How indulgent of me to need space. But I'm realizing that it's ok. It's ok to be who I am and to feel restored in the way I feel restored. No apologies, no guilt, and no shame. I am tired of all that. It's been long enough. Those emotions have run my life for years, and right here, right now, I stand willing to take my life back.
Needing time and space alone is ok. I can ask for it without guilt.