SELF-IMPOSED PRESSURE

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." 

~ Bertrand Russell ~

We create urgencies in our heads. We create tension in our bodies. Things are not going as smoothly or as quickly as we want them to, or others are not reacting as we feel they should. We try to manufacture reality as it pleases us, but with little success.
     One of my least favorite expressions from many years ago is that time takes time. I like it better now- and understand the wisdom in it... and yet, there are still days where I want to exert my will and demand things of the hours I have. But no amount of exertion will do the trick. Time really does take time, and each thing fills the space it fills and requires the care it requires, and no amount of rushing or insistence changes that.
     Settling in for the duration, committing to enjoy the process, taking breaks when necessary to refresh our perspectives- all of these help. And so does self-care, and so does a good night's sleep.

I accept the process of developing ideas and budding creativity and know that they cannot be forced.

   

EATING CLEAN

"Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live." 

~ Jim Rohn ~

Eating clean seems so obvious. It’s how we feel best. And yet, we don’t do it. We convince ourselves that we can eat whatever we want whenever we want, and we can, but we fool ourselves into thinking there won’t be consequences, and, of course, there are.

     So let’s choose the consequence of feeling great, and do whatever we need to do to make that happen.

I take good care of my body.

TAKING A STAND

“There is more to life than getting things done.” 

~ Jon Kabat-Zinn ~

It’s so easy to get caught up in being busy. We pride ourselves on how busy we are. We compare and compete- who’s busiest as if that gives us some kind of measurable merit. But it doesn’t. Not really.

     Our value is in being, in appreciating what’s around us, connecting with others at a heart level, being authentic, and honoring our truth. And yet, these things seem less culturally acceptable than being busy.

     Let’s change this. It’s within our power to do so. Let’s take a stand for our humanity. Let’s take a stand for the state of our souls.

I value the humanity in myself and others.

WHAT MATTERS

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." 

~ Flora Whittemore ~

Everything matters. Attending to each detail of our lives with care and integrity makes for a life that feels valuable and appreciated.

     And also- nothing matters. We could die in our sleep and have that be the end of it.

     And also- certain things, people, and principles matter more than others. Our partner matters more to us than a stranger on the other side of the world.

     Arguments can be made for and against every possible position on every possible front. So where that leaves us is wherever we choose to take a stand.

I am clear on what’s important to me.

WHEN WE WANT SOMETHING

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." 

~ Shakespeare ~

When we want something, we cannot see it clearly. All we see, and all we experience, is the wanting. And then, when we get it, it’s never quite as we imagined. It’s better in some ways, usually, and worse in others. It’s yin and yang and this and that and whatever it is- a mix. But when we were wanting it, all we could conceive of was the good, so it’s always a bit of a shock when reality sets in.

     Nothing is all good or all bad, and remembering that, we can take comfort in things, and people, exactly as they are- as more of a discovery than a knowing, and more of a curiosity than a fact.

I keep my mind open to all possibilities.

THE CHANGING NATURE OF FEELINGS

"It came to pass..." 

~ The Bible ~

When we are all twisted up inside, sometimes we can work it out on our own, sometimes we need a friend to point it out to us, sometimes the passage of time corrects it, sometimes something happens to snap us into a fresh perspective, and sometimes the cure comes through conversation.

     However it happens, the point is that it does, and what a blessing in that! We are not doomed to experience any feelings permanently. They come, they work through us on some level, and then they go. And hopefully, we learn something along the way.

I trust in the coming and going of my feelings.

WHERE WE ROOT OURSELVES

"I will get my feet down to the earth." 

~ HD Thoreau ~

Life is such an up and down affair. We’re hot, we’re cold; we’re thrilled, we’re bored; we’re unstoppably confident and we’re filled with doubt. We flip-flop endlessly all around the map and are as changeable as the weather- our thoughts and moods as much as our bodies

     So where is center? Where is groundedness? Where is stability? The only possible place must be in the truth of each present moment- of what is so. Beyond that, it’s nothing but a mind game; nothing but speculation and posturing, fantasy, and fear.

I ground myself in the present moment.

QUIETING THE MIND

"Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak." 

~ Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati ~

A busy mind is often a sign of fear or fret, sometimes a gift of rushing insight, but more often than not, just noise. And to quiet it, we need to breathe, to observe our thoughts rather than engage them, and to compassionately allow ourselves to be- free from thinking, free from planning, and free from distress.

I breathe deeply and surrender anew in each moment.

BEING WHERE WE ARE

"Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life." 

~ Eckhart Tolle ~

Sometimes I am so excited for what's to come that I want it to come sooner, and I can hardly wait for it. I am restless, and can't sleep. And yet, everything comes in its own time and goes in its own time and forcing it it to be or do anything other than that is futile and leaves us agitated. Peace can only be experienced in acceptance of what is happening now.

I let go of the future and fully experience what's happening now. 

BEING EXCITED

"I giggle happy thoughts." 

~ Terri Guillemets ~

Being excited about new possibilities awakens something primal in us. Energy rushes to the ready- ready to begin, to create, to establish, to build. A sense of aliveness courses through the mind and body like high-voltage electricity. We are filled with ideas and the power, inspiration, vision, audacity, and faith to back them.
     Excitement at this level makes it hard to sleep. Like a horse at the gate we are amped up and ready to run. And yet, sleep we must. The creative journey is more than a few laps around the track, and requires our ongoing stamina, and sustained momentum over time.

My creative excitement is a slow burning fire.

SHARING OUR HUMANITY

"There is comfort where we overlap." 

~ Ani Difranko ~

When we are lonely, the best thing we can do is engage someone we don't know in a conversation and find out about them. Such sharing takes us out of ourselves and awakens us to the energy of shared humanity, which is a beautiful and powerful thing. We discover ourselves in the other, and that brings us both into the light.

I ask people about themselves and listen from the heart.

FILL THE DARK

"Let soul and world meet." 
~ Rumi ~

Fresh. Deep. Clean. Neat.

Warrior. Savior. Captor. Thief.

Friend. Foe. Above. Below.

Hollowed out like a cave in the snow.

Emergent. Convergent. Stupendous and Bright.

Be rich and warm like the dark filled with light.

I am a candle that never burns out.

THE VALUE DRIVEN LIFE

"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?" 

~ Matthew:16-26 ~

Sometimes when we set a goal, we become so focused on it that we blind ourselves to all other possibilities along the way, and become inadvertently rigid and inflexible. And yet, we get benefit from so many other things that come to us along the way. Our lessons come from everything that happens, and, if we're honest, lessons are really the ultimate goal, so while it may be good strategy to aim for a specific outcome, and even necessary to a fulfilled life to do so, the truth is that having goals may not be nearly as important as having guiding principles to live by- principles that direct our path and inform our decisions and root us in something steady, and solid, and secure.

I live by my values even more than my goals.

THE POWER OF BEING ONE

"I am a part of all that I have met." 

~ Alfred Lord Tennyson ~

Everything that matters is connected. As soon as I start to separate and quantify things like productivity, personal growth, compassion, love, integrity, and wholeness, I realize that they are all inextricably inner related, and that one cannot exist without the other, just as we, as individuals cannot, and do not, exist without each other. We are related at a core level to our fellow man.

     And this is good news. It means that we are stronger, wiser, and bolder than we thought; that we have resources beyond our imagining, and that we are vast beyond measure. What a comfort in this- to know that being kind is also being productive, that sharing through conversation is also creating possibilities in life, that living clean is also growing in spirit, and that opening our hearts is also serving the world.

All is connected, and all is one. I begin anywhere and affect everything.

GUILT FREE LIVING

"Guilt is always hungry. Don't let it consume you."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

It's so easy to think that we should be doing other than we are, be eating other than we ate, and be functionally better in every way; and the self-doubt and second-guessing that comes along with this frame of mind is emotionally crippling. It keeps us from being able to relax. We are always looking away from where we are to anywhere else and telling ourselves we should this, that, and the other thing. We should be networking. We should be busy cleaning our house. We should be losing weight, getting fit, feeling differently than we do about our lives, our families and ourselves.
     Let's get off the "should" bandwagon, and allow ourselves simply to be. It feels indulgent. It feels like we're letting ourselves off the hook, and maybe we are. But don't we deserve that? Don't we deserve to be less than perfect, less than totally maximized and actualized at every moment, and less than the run-ragged pace of modern, incessantly busy, chaotic life?

I get off the guilt bandwagon and let myself be. 

LEARNING TO HOLD SPACE

"Having too many things about us is a certain confusion to the intellect." 

~ Oscar C. McCullouch ~

Creativity isn't born from busy-ness. When we are pushing ahead full steam and keeping up with all the obligations of our lives, there's no room for inspiration to visit us. We are completely full-up squirreling around on the wheel of urgency. So we have to learn how to hold space, and how to consecrate it.
     Doing everything we can to control our environment, other people, outcomes, incomes, and the world at large, we become jammed and crammed and brimming over, so we have to let go a bit, and then let go some more, and make creating space a priority. When we do that, we invite inspiration, and when we invite inspiration, something in us empties and clears out, and we remember what matters, and who matters, and why we are here.

I create space and invite inspiration.

THE POWER OF TREES

"You can live for years next door to a big pine tree, honored to have so venerable a neighbor, even when it sheds needles all over your flowers or wakes you, dropping big cones onto your deck at still of night." 

~ Denise Levertov ~

There is solace in trees, and the bigger they are, the more earthed and solid energy they provide. Just to be in their company is soothing to the spirit- the smell of them, and their bark and leaves and roots and trunk. Trees are good company, good grounding, and good inspiration, and just the right tree in just the right place makes the soul light up, the heart lift, and the nerves settle and ease.

I love and appreciate the trees of the world! 

THE FREEDOM OF NEUTRALITY

"Whosoever knoweth the power of the dance, dwelleth in God." 

~ Rumi ~

Attachment and aversion both hitch us up emotionally. Wanting something too badly, we tighten with the fear of not getting it, and being repulsed closes us to legitimate options.
     Moving forward in trust and neutrality, we can see and experience our lives free from fear and judgment; free from angst, upset, fury, and fret.

I trust things to fall into place, to know what I need to know when I need to know it, and to open to unseen and unconsidered possibilities that will make perfect sense as soon as they show up.

SELF-DOUBT AND ARROGANCE

 "The time and place are mine when I am equal to the time and place." 

~ Muriel Strode ~

Self-doubt and arrogance are blood brothers. They shut down options- one turned in on itself, and the other by disrespect from others as we gallivant about pretending we're better than we are. Being right-sized is the answer- honest about our strengths and honest about where we fall short; about what we want, what we need, what limits us, what we're afraid of, and what we are willing to risk.
     In the clear air of truth we have power and can take action. Stuck in self-doubt, or over-puffed with arrogance, we shut door after door of opportunity on our own precious selves.

I am honest about what I am, what I have to offer, and what I do not.

   

THE BENEFITS OF OCCASIONAL AIMLESSNESS

"Every man who possibly can should force himself to a holiday of a full month in a year, whether he feels like taking it or not."

~ William James ~

Living in a meandering way is excruciating at first when we are accustomed to a driven life. And then, somewhere along the way, a kind of easy humor sets in, an acceptance of the lack of intensity, and the experience of a renewed pleasure in the company of the people we love.
     It's refreshing to be aimless, to have dog walks and laundry be the big events of the day, especially knowing that the aimlessness won't last, and that the intensity will return, and probably times ten.

I enjoy meandering a bit when circumstances allow.

EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." 

~ Viktor Frankl ~

I like to make plans- to have a purpose, and be on track for a goal. And sometimes, it works out just right. And other times, my plans crumble into laughable pieces right in front of my eyes. I am all prepared for one thing, and then it's something else entirely. I adjust to the adjustment, and get myself squared away, and then something else comes along.
     Life is like that. It requires our humor, our flexibility, our ongoing willingness, and, ultimately, everything we've got.

I am adaptable, and roll with the punches.