WALKING TALL

     The way we walk says more about us than we realize. It gives away our secrets. It shows the people who are watching us whether we have insecurities or anger issues, if we have been beaten down by life; if we like who we are and feel good, or if we are not at all sure about anything.
     Let's carry ourselves with the grace and nobility that we deserve. Let's stop shuffling around as if we are persecuted and don't think much of ourselves. Even if we have been persecuted; even if we have permanent limps, or humps in our backs, let's rise above it in our carriage and our stride. Walking as if we are confident will make us feel confident.
     We can stroll our way through life. We can float! We needn't gimp and hitch and get there however we get there. The way we move affects our state of being, so let's slow down and walk consciously, with good posture and good rhythm, and flow and nobility and grace- even if it doesn't come easily. Because we are noble, and walking is one of the important ways that we honor our beautiful selves.

I pay attention to the way I walk and stop shuffling and hitching. I slow down and stroll, with my chest up, my head lifted, and a heart full of grace.

PONDERING

     Are we more compassionate than resentful? More interested in being helpful than in getting our fill? Are we paralyzed by fear? Afraid of punishment? Do we live on the edge hoping we won't get caught? Do we think we can escape consequences, and feel victimized when we have to pay our rightful dues? Are we thoughtful? Frantic? Can we listen to others without interrupting their flow? Do we think about the impact of our energy on things and people? Are there changes we could make in the way we behave in order to be more kind? More peaceful? Easier to be around? Better friends? Are we willing to be honest? Are we willing to reach our potential? Are we willing to be the best that we can be? Or are we not?

I have the courage to ask the tough questions, and I'm willing to change where I can.

COMPELLING SUNSHINE

     The old adage, "no pain, no gain" does not always apply. During a massage, for instance, if I experience pain or discomfort, my body becomes defensive. It locks up to protect itself, tensing and tightening in alarm. I cannot be forced to relax. Digging and poking at my muscles with ever greater intensity leaves them nothing but sore and uncomfortable. They respond to encouragement rather than demand.
     And I don't believe that exercise is supposed to be painful either, and that it doesn't have to hurt in order for gains to be made. Movement and weights can be used in ways that support the highest functioning of a strong body. In my experience, and I have been a personal trainer for fifteen years, the best exercises actually feel good while they are being performed. The muscles fatigue, but they don't "hurt" per se, and the body enjoys the challenge and the range of motion. Every body has its own kind of  feel-good movements, and that's where strides are made, and where progress happens; not in pushing beyond comfort and then pushing further still.
     I am reminded of the story with the sun and the wind, who compete with each other to see who can get a man to take off his coat. The wind tries with all of his might. He blows hard, and harder still, but the man only clutches his jacket tighter around him in response. In the end, it's the gentle, loving sun that wins out.
      To me, the message of the story has broad application, far broader than the saying "no pain, no gain." If the forceful urging way we have of approaching things and people is not eliciting the hoped-for, positive result, perhaps we might try a bit of sunshine instead.

I experience more success in all areas of my life when I come at things with gentle encouragement and love instead of brute force. 

ENERGY TIDES

     The shifting tides of internal energy fascinate me. In the course of a single day, I feel stagnant, amplified, sleepy, invigorated, hot, cold, fearful, hopeful, alert, relaxed- you name it. I feel the whole realm of tides. I feel low tide, high tide, moon tide, and brackish. I feel whitecaps and windlessness.
     It is the natural inclination of movement in the universe to fill what's empty and empty what's full. When I am drained, something comes along and trickles inspiration in me. I feel the energy shift, and my sense of vitality is restored. I ride on it like a kite in the breeze. And then, at some point or other- it always happens- I crash to the ground in a tangle of string.
     I am revived by sleep, by being with people I like, by involving my intellect in a project, by creativity of any kind, and by walks in nature; picking roadside flowers to make arrangements for the house. I am revived by hugs and good conversation and a satisfying meal. I am revived by sitting still for just a few minutes.
     What's reassuring, and what pleases me, is that I am never stuck in one energetic place. None of us are, though it may feel that way at times. If we are willing to suit up and show up, life gives us the whole range of energies, and each one is a gift. Sometimes we are up, sometimes down, sometimes shaken, and sometimes rattled by joy. But what is always for sure is that we cycle through the hours moving from one energy to the next. It's quite a journey, this life, and worth every moment.

I appreciate the constantly moving tides of energy within me.

CONDITIONAL LOVE

     Conditional love is a trapping and brutal business. It is love under siege; love that can be removed at any time for any reason. It's impossible to meet all of the potential conditions. They are always changing so we must remain ever on guard- to do what's wanted, to be sure to please the distributor of love so that we can get our share. It's stressful and exhausting. We are loved for our behavior, our achievements, our choices, and our taste, insofar as they line up in accordance with someone else's idea of who we should be and how we should be. Conditional love is control over another person at the highest possible cost, and the most prevalent and socially acceptable form of emotional abuse.
     More often than not, we receive it as children, and then pass it along to our children. We show them love as long as we approve of what they do, and when we do not approve, we withdraw our love. It was done to us so it seems only natural. But it's not. It's a horrible thing to live in constant fear that love will be stripped from us if we do something wrong. It is ever-impending doom, and life under a black cloud.
     The healing process has to begin at the level of our beliefs. We have to learn to believe that we are lovable even when we mess up; even when we do foolish things and make bad decisions. If we can't shed a little kindness self-ward, and give ourselves a break, who will? How can we ever believe that others might love us unconditionally if we cannot feel that way about ourselves?

Unconditional love starts with the way I feel about myself. If I have to daily earn my own approval, what does that suggest about my lovability? I am willing to believe that I am lovable just the way I am.

STEP UP TO THE PLATE

     When I am attempting something unfamiliar and hoping for a specific positive outcome, it's hard to begin. I have a fear that I might make a mistake and do something that will blow my chances at success forever and ever. If I don't try, there is always the chance that I might slip through and actually get what I hope to get... when I do try. But if I make the effort and don't get the desired result, it feels like the death of my dream.
     Even as I write this, I realize that a beginning is just that- a beginning. It's not meant to be a home run or to strike me out of the game for all time. It's just a chance at the bat. Maybe I get a base hit, or a foul ball. Maybe I walk. At least the possibility exists for home runs... and strike outs too. Therein lies the challenge and the "game." If it doesn't happen this time, then maybe the next. I get another turn, and another, as long as I play.
     But I'm not even in the game if I don't step up to the plate. I won't strike out, but I won't feel what it's like to hit the ball either. And it's satisfying to make contact with it, to feel the crack and watch the ball go down the line, or straight out to left field, or wherever it goes; far more satisfying than sitting in the stands watching the dugout with envy and being too afraid to play at all.

I take my chances and give life my best shot. Even if I miss, or strike out, it's worth swinging at the ball. I could get a base hit, and move forward in the game.

EATING WITH CARE

     The preparation of good food requires love as a primary ingredient. Meals made with haste and hostility leave the palate in despair. The difference really can be tasted and digested if we are paying attention. We consume the energy that comes from the heart of the cook.
     So many of us prepare our food carelessly, almost recklessly, and so often, impatiently. We cannot be bothered to eat well or to take the time to sit down and chew. We eat on the run, and directly out of store-bought packages: fast food for fast living: any way we can get it. And then we wonder why we feel such a lack of satisfaction in our bellies.They swell and bloat and ache and growl.
     Let's take more care. Let's take more time. Let's savor the textures and colors of vegetables, the scents of herbs and spices, the heat of the oven and the fire of the grill. The way we fill our plate matters. The way we eat matters. Let's do better by ourselves so we can feel better, and prepare our nourishment with love and appreciation. Let's be truly grateful when we sit down to eat.

The energy in what I eat sustains me, and I honor that fact by preparing my meals with gratitude, mindfulness, and a loving heart.