TRANSCENDENCE

"Gratitude turns what we have into enough."

~Author Unknown ~

I am grateful for the day's end, for the respite from life's intensity and demand, and for silence. I am grateful for laughter and for my good health. I am grateful for air conditioning, sunshine, changing light, courage, and the sky. I am grateful for hope and the possibility of change. I am grateful for all that my experience has taught me, and that life is dynamic and nothing ever remains exactly the same. I am grateful for possibility and opportunity and the unknown factor in each day. I am grateful for all of my days, and nights, and the seasons, and the rising moon.
     Feeling grateful soothes me and comforts my spirit. It reminds me of all that is good and beautiful. Today, perhaps, more than anything else, I am grateful for gratitude.

When life wants to pull me down, I get grateful, and rise again.

THE YIN YANG OF LIFE EXPERIENCE

"There's a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out."

~ Lou Reed ~

Most of the time I go at life with gusto and have an enthusiastic and gung-ho way of doing things. The energy of this carries me, and I feel optimistic and happy. But there is yin in the yang and yang in the yin and the opposite of gung ho and enthusiastic always comes to take its turn in me. And it isn't necessarily depressing or dark- only profoundly sad, and stillness producing, and humbling. It right sizes me every time.
     There is so much suffering on earth, and in people, and surrounding us on all sides. And while there is beauty as well, every so often, it's important and necessary to take stock of the suffering, and feel it to its depths. We don't have to stay there or belabor our experience, but we do have to occasionally visit.

I acknowledge the suffering in myself and others and feel great compassion for the things we all survive.

WHEN LIFE IS HARD

"Life is difficult. This is a great truth."

~M. Scott Peck ~

Some days it's harder to get motivated than others. When the general state of circumstantial affairs in my life is challenging and everywhere I turn there seems to be struggle, the weight of it all holds me heavy to the earth. And I feel the need to take time for retreat and to rejuvenate my spirit and rediscover the light, but that's not always possible, so I have to just mush on.
     And often, the simple momentum of continued mushing readjusts me and I become restored as if by default. But when that doesn't happen, patience is the answer, and self-compassion, and the ongoing journey of looking for and owning the love inside me that has temporarily gone underground.

I ride the tide of challenges in life and allow for self-compassion and tenderness when the weight of hardship is heavy on my back.

THE WAY THINGS TURN OUT

"Tomorrow is another day."
Scarlet O'Hara

 

Things rarely turn out the way we want them to, or hope they will. They turn out how they turn out and we have learn how to adjust ourselves. And sometimes it's easier said than done. Certain necessary adjustments make my heart ache.
     I like everything neat and clean and tied up with a bow, but experience has taught me that more often than not, life is just a big old mess instead. And when that's the case, generally speaking, it's only time that will come along to sort things out, so I have to be patient, and I have to surrender, and I have to do what I can and let go of absolutely everything else.

 

I trust in the process of unfolding life.

HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

"For I have learned to look on Nature not as in the hour of thoughtless youth, but hearing oftentimes the still, sad music of humanity." 

~ William Wordsworth ~

I went to my 30th high school reunion over the weekend and am glad that I did. There are those people with whom I have a kind of lifetime connection that doesn't depend on constant, or even regular, contact, and yet the understanding between us is familiar and feels good. And it's always great to see those people.

     And then, there is the lack of connection that lingers across years that I feel with certain others, and that they, presumably, feel in relation to me: an awkwardness that is likely based on complete misunderstanding, and that might be overcome if we met today and had no history. And seeing them is a not-always-welcome reminder of something missed-out-on, and seemingly impossible to overcome.

     But most enjoyable are the unexpected connections that develop. Conversations, evolved energy, and the relatable accumulation of lifetime experiences creates a bond that did not exist before, and which is surprisingly delightful.

     At such events, there is generally too much alcohol consumed by most, the emotional exhaustion of dealing with constantly bubbling-up old-time feelings and memories of all kinds, and slightly stressful meals because of all the surrounding emotional chaos. In this regard, this reunion was no different from the rest. But nonetheless, it was worth it to go. High school was an important and formative time in my life, and I take this time every five years to honor those years and the people I shared them with.

 

I am grateful for my high-school experience, with all of it's awkwardness and the vagaries of my youth.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

"All of our reasoning ends in surrender... "

~Blaise Pascal ~

 

There always comes a point in life when enough is enough. Sometimes it's experienced in anger, and sometimes in a kind of exhausted letting go, but we are tired of struggling and done with all attempts to force our will. Change is slow and life is hard, and we have less control than we might like to think.

I stop pushing and surrender to all that is beyond my control.

THE UPSIDE OF THE DOWNSIDE

"Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history."

~ Joan Wallach Scott ~

I have always wanted all the people around me to be happy with each other and happy with me. Conflict, confrontation, and silent tension alarm me at a visceral level, and I prefer to avoid them at all costs and in any way possible. And yet, much as I might want peace in the kingdom, it's inevitable that fights will break out and disharmony will occur.
     But it may not be the death knell I think it to be. Perhaps, there is resolution at the far side of conflict, and evolution somehow in the whole messy mix.

 I allow for the possibility of positive transformation through discomfort.