MY SISTER'S CHOICE

     Thirteen years ago today, my sister swallowed three bottles of Safeway brand ibuprofen and chased them with bubble-gum flavored Benadryl. Then, she laid down on the floor between her futon and the wall in her apartment in Lander, Wyoming, and slowly died. Without a note, and by her choice, she took her own life. She left an organ donor card on the kitchen table, but no one found her for three days, and by then, her organs were not salvageable, and neither was she.
     I'm not sure that she ever understood or appreciated her worth. She struggled with increasing levels of chemical imbalance in her brain, but needing medication to normalize her functioning was not to her liking. She wanted to be other than she was- so much so that she thought it more worth while to end it all than to play it out. Maybe things could have gotten better for her, or maybe not. I'll never know. Her act took a certain amount of courage, and I have learned to honor her choice even though it made me sad and hurt me deeply in a primal kind of way. It was a hard thing to lose my only sibling.
     In her memory, just for today, let's help someone believe that their existence matters, and that they have value and beauty and something to contribute. It's easy to assume that everyone we encounter is doing just fine, especially if we are all wrapped up in our own personal drama. But maybe not. Maybe our smile or a word of encouragement is just the thing someone needs today to change their world and maybe even save their life. We never know how our small acts can effect the quality of someone else's experience. Let's be willing to spread our joy and share our love.

I don't know how the people I encounter today might be hurting. I make a conscious effort to spread a little kindness and appreciation.