"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break."
~ William Shakespeare ~
The sudden and unexpected death of my Dad has rocked me in a way very few things in life have. I hadn't realized how much I defined myself in relation to him, and without him here to wonder about and worry about- what did he think, what should my next move be, how could I evolve in the relationship, and how free and self-expressed could I allow myself to be?
My Dad was always on my mind, and I wanted so much for him to know me, and love me, and approve of me... and then, suddenly, poof- gone. The whole thing dissolved into ether and pure love. It's left me hanging-feeling, in mid-air, with no ground below me, as if I've been pulled up by the roots.
And I know I will grow new ones, and I know it will take time, yet nonetheless, this plucked up feeling is a new one, and getting my bearings is taking everything I have.
I am patient with myself as life transitions sharply and leaves me in the lurch.