END OF AN ERA

OK..., here it is... the final blog on blog spot.

The first one was February 12th, 2011, and almost every weekday since then... 

It's been a long time.

And I'm going to let Walt Whitman close it down for me.

I discovered him in college and have always found his writing to be

Lyrical, and also inspiring, and pointing to TRUTH...  so...

Here's Walt:

"You are asking me questions and I hear you,

I answer that I cannot answer, you must find out for yourself.

Sit a while dear son,

Here are biscuits to eat and here is milk to drink,

But as soon as you sleep and renew yourself in sweet clothes, 

I kiss you with a goodbye kiss and open the gate for your egress hence.

Long enough have you dream'd contemptible dreams,

Now I wash the gum from your eyes,

You must habit yourself to the dazzle of the light and of every moment of your life.

Long have you timidly waded holding a plank by the shore,

Now I will you to be a bold swimmer,

To jump off in the midst of the sea, rise again, nod to me, shout, and

Laughingly dash with your hair."

That's all, folks!

PEACE OUT.

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GARDEN PHILOSOPHY

"My garden is my favorite teacher."

~ Betsy Canas Garmon ~

I have never lived in a place long enough to see how the gardens I plant

Work out over time...

And now I am leaving a new batch of profuse plantings at our farm in Virginia-

Another leaving-

But so many of them are massive already!

There are Hollyhocks 9 feet tall!

And other plants that were thriving last year are rather smothered out this year

By the aggressive growing of neighbor plants that are on a roll.

Some things thrive in a garden, some get eaten mercilessly by bugs, or deer,

And others die.

But it's a never ending evolution of gracious harmony in the growing and the thriving and the dying

All mixed with God's grace.

Plants experience the journey of life just like we do!

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WHAT KIND OF GOODBYE?

"So long, fare thee well,

Pip, pip, cheerio..."

~ Oliver ~

Goodbyes come in all shapes and sizes.
There's goodbye with relief,
Goodbye with despair.
Goodbye for now, goodbye forever,
And goodbye until we meet again whenever that may be...
There are phone goodbyes,
In person goodbyes,
Quick ones, long ones, 
Ones with smiles,

Ones with tears...
And we are reaching a goodbye here.
After ten and a half years, only 2 more days of these blogs in this way.
Will it be goodbye forever when it's done?
Or see you tomorrow in a new way?
You have a choice.
To see you tomorrow, meaning after Wednesday, sign up HERE. 
And if it's goodbye forever, then happy trails to you, and glad

We got to stop a while together

On this path called 

Life. 

I decide how I say goodbye. 

OPENING WIDE

"Intuition... points the way."

~ Florence Scovel Shinn ~

Following flowing energy can satisfy the spirit more

Than checking items off a strategized, prioritized to-do list.

Getting things done is one thing,

And opening wide to life's curiosities and invitations 

Quite another. 

I look to see and feel to know.

THE BEAR

"We only part to meet again."

~ John Gay ~

A bear crossed the road in front of me as I came around a corner and

Down a hill, 

And, it being a quiet country road with no one behind me,

I stopped, and rolled down the car window to

Check him out: a big bear with lustrous black fur...

And he stopped too,

And turned his head to check me out.

We sat there together 

Looking at each other

In this extended 

PAUSE... 

And then I eased forward in the car, he turned and started moving off into the woods.

And the moment was over.

Driving away, I felt shifted by it, 

Gifted by it,

And one with 

Life. 

Our days are a series of magical encounters. 

MAKING SENSE

"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."

~ Ambrose Bierce ~

When things don't make sense to us, it's natural to want 

To find an explanation or a "reason"

That will make them

Make sense....

At least to our brains, if not our hearts. 

It's because of this, and that.

"Oh, ok."

It always feels better when things make sense.

And yet, so many things-

And people-

Just

Don't.

I'd rather admit to not understanding than forcing logic onto something that is intrinsically non-sensical.  

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SHOWING UP

"Silentness is not silence."

~ Jose Garcia Villa ~ 

We can be carried along pretty merrily by life,

And be feeling pretty good:

Solid, confident,

And then something comes along to derail us.

It never fails.

And the only thing to do then is to

Feel the feelings.

Identify the misperceptions,

Remember who we really are, and

Keep showing up.

I watch myself being disturbed, and trust the learning that will come. 

THE NEW VIEW

"You beautiful trees! I love every one of you as a friend."

~ Lucy Maud Montgomery ~

I used to long for expansive mountain views

That stretched on and on and on...

The broad rolling skyline!

And it is exquisite, for sure.

But the view I prefer to live with these days 

Is closer in,

Feels secure and lovely in a way the 

Big mountain view does not.

Light through leaves and pine needles,

Dappled, luminous, soothing, and

Kind. 

Home feels like a hug. 

INTEGRITY

"Hold integrity sacred."

~ The Myrtle, January, 1884 ~

Doing what we say we will do,

Being on time,

Responding to inquiries from business associates and friends,

Saying please and thank you-

These simple things make all the difference.

Without them, the world stumbles and lurches,

And it becomes irritating and nearly impossible to get things done.

Integrity is the force that 

Makes things 

Happen with ease. 

You can count on me. 

RIGHT SIZED

"Something it swings on more than the earth I swing on..."

~ Walt Whitman ~

The thing with arrogance in any form is that 

We give ourselves credit for things that are actually

Beyond our personal control.

As such, the boom must fall,

And leave us humbled,

Re-positioned, and 

Right sized,

Admitting that we 

Went too far. 

I am both more and less influential than I can possibly understand. 

ENOUGH

"Infinitely will I trust nature's instincts and promptings."

~ Muriel Strode ~

Sweet.

Bitter.

Smooth.

Rough.

Hungry.

Angry.

Tender.

Tough.

Loving.

Laughing.

Crying.

Stuffed.

However we are,

Is perfectly

Enough.

I accept the way life moves through me.

HAPPENINGS

"The why and wherefore passeth human understanding. 

That's just the way the Lord's got it arranged."

~ Cid Ricketts Summer

Days,  meals, meetings, phone calls, crises...

They all just happen the way they happen.

No amount of wanting guarantees any particular kind of outcome.

I accept the unfolding adventure of life.

CUSTOMER SERVICE

"Humor is the good natured side of a truth."

~ Mark Twain ~ 

A while ago, I booked a flight to Los Angeles to see my son, Nick,

On an airline I have found to be pleasant and reliable.

Last week, I received an email from them telling me that my return flight has been changed

And now,

Instead of getting in at 4pm I will be getting in at midnight,

Which is not the end of the world, but not exactly convenient,

And I still have a fair bit of time before the trip so I called today to talk to someone.

When I asked the computer voice if I could please speak to an agent,

I was transferred to another computer voice that let me know I was in the cue,

and very pleasantly mentioned that the wait time would be approximately

Six hours and eight minutes.

I hung up the phone and burst out laughing.

What else is there to do at that point?

When life is preposterous, which it often is, I can be amused by it.

I don't have to let it twist me into knots. 

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THE WAY IT IS

 "Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid."

~ Frederick Buechner ~

The quote above is TRUE in that

Beautiful and terrible things DO happen,

All the time, to each of us...

Sometimes both in the same day.

And somehow, all of it plays out.

Always.

So, in hindsight, no need for fear.

We survive. We evolve. We pick ourselves up

And become useful to others who 

Come along behind.

We are resilient, and our pain makes us beautiful,

And grows us in compassion,

And throughout it all,

Known to us, or

Unbeknownst,

We are carried

And filled

With the Grace of

God. 

Living is life, and life is up and down and all around. 

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BAGGAGE

"History is filled with the sound of silken slippers going downstairs and wooden shoes coming up."

~ Voltaire ~

We come at life so FULL of our history:

Trusting or suspicious,

Dragging or lightly,

With happiness or dread.

It makes for challenging interactions-

Very few of them 

Completely clean or

Clear. 

I accept the potentially convoluted history of new people I encounter.

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FLOWERING CHANGE

"When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills."

~ Chinese Proverb ~

Would you miss this blog if you no longer received it?

July 1st, Google Blogspot is disabling the email sending feature,

So to keep getting it, you need to sign up here. 

I considered stopping writing it,

I considered all kinds of options,

And decided on this one. 

It's where the energy led me- 

I believe there's value here- and if you do too,

Become a Daily Enlightenment's "Member."

And in the new format, you will get an image every day 

To accompany the words... 

There will be a couple weeks of blogs posted in both places

And then,

Just there. 

I gracefully accept the inevitable process of change. 

PARTY INVITATION

"I am the sunlight to the soil of my own soul."

~ Muriel Strode ~

We are so good at fooling ourselves.

It's a game we love to play-

We invite energy we don't want and then wonder why it's showing up,

Like announcing a party and then

Being mad and bewildered when the guests

Arrive.

I take responsibility for what I attract. 

HOT OR COLD?

"Cussing the weather is mighty poor farming."

~ African American Proverb ~

A butterfly bush that grows 10 feet tall in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Grows 5 feet tall in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania:

Shorter growing season- less sun. 

But in the Pocono Mountains, because of so much delicious rain, 

A pine tree grows 100 feet tall,

While in Santa Fe, it's a shrubby bush.

And we are like that.

Some of us are more vital in the heat, and some in the cold,

Some in the mountains, and some by the beach.

Are we a tumbleweed, or dune grass?

The knowing is inside each one.

It's up to us to answer the invitation.

I don't pretend to be something other than I am. 

RISING FROM THE ASHES

"Fire is love and water sorrow."

~ Proverb ~

When we are burned out,

We are like a forest fire, quenched.

And from this black singed earth grow the 

Most impossibly fresh green sprouts.

They are exquisite,

And beautiful,

And new. 

Life renews us as it must. 

THE UNKNOWN

"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral."

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~

We claim not to like the unknown,

But if we're honest with ourselves and consider it truly,

I think we will find it's actually quite enjoyable.

If we don't know how something will play out,

We can imagine it going any way we desire,

Any way that pleases us to imagine.

Once it's done, once it's known, there's no more imagining,

There's only the dealing with whatever has happened,

And even if it's rough, or tough, or tragic, there's still fun possible

In the unknown of that.

The game then becomes, what are we going to do now?

Mystery is a delightful form of play. 

THE RIDDLING QUESTION

"Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?"

~ Rumi ~

We may not be who we think we are.

Our thoughts can be deceiving.

So who are we then?

Why the riddling feeling question?

It's not graspable by the quantitative mind.

Become still, 

Get quiet,

Drop all the stories and the worries and the stressful fretting.

Drop your attachments.

Drop your history.

Drop your future hopes and dreams. 

What remains?

What is it that cannot be dropped?

It is us. We are it. We are... that. 

MEMORIAL DAY

"We come to praise our soldiers."

~ Francis a Walker ~

Honoring courage today.

Honoring valor.

Honoring the bravery it takes to take a stand.

Honoring honor,

And

Because it's the root and the spirit of all of these things,

Though paradoxically,

Nonetheless empirically,

Honoring 

Love. 

Thanks to the ones who stand up. 

PLANT LIFE

"I have found, after a good deal of consideration, that the best place to seek God is in a garden."

~ Bernard Shaw~ 

Sugar Magnolia, Sweet Woodruff, Sweet William, Sweet Annie-

Honeysuckle, Rose.

Tiger Lily, Dogwood, Cattail, 

Butterfly Weed. 

Trailing, hanging, standing, 

Tender, Hardy,

Blazing,

Bulb. 

Being "garden variety" means we are absolutely unique!

THE MIX MASH

"Sorrow like rain makes roses and mud."

~ Austin O'Malley ~

I am grateful that my mother is ok,

And exhausted for all the emotional trauma that being in the hospital has stirred up in me.

And inspired by her positive attitude,

And sad for her departed lung. 

I feel it all.

THE STRENGTH OF THIS WOMAN

"Fall seven times. Stand up eight."

~ Japanese Proverb ~

My Mom is having the lower left lobe of her lung removed 

Along with some lymph nodes

Because of cancer cells present.

A week later, after testing the extracted lymph nodes,

We will know what "stage" her cancer falls into.

In the meantime, she is focused on the possibility

Of breaking the record for most post operative laps

Walked around the recovery unit.

The number to beat is 237.

My Mother is one-of-a-kind.

ENERGY BURNING

"More wood was put on, and the flame danced in a hundred fantastic shapes."

~ Charles Dudley ~

We are like fire.

Some of us are bright and blazing,

Some of us smoky,

Some of us hot embers yet to ignite,

And some of us can't be seen at all,

But underneath, with a bit of digging,

There is heat and smoke and all of it,

And with just a little paper and kindling and a puff of air,

Flames alight.

We are pure potential.

AS IT SHOULD BE

"I do not know what is untried and afterward, but I know it will, in its turn, prove sufficient, and cannot fail."

~ Walt Whitmam ~

So many, if not all, of our limiting beliefs are rooted in 

The idea that

Something is wrong.

Something is wrong with us, with other people, with our circumstances,

The weather,

The potential future,

The world. 

And this means we have something to fix.

And we better get to it.

But perhaps, all is actually as it should be, and on time,

And in its place for the lessons we have to learn,

And our transcendence,

And the play. 

I open to the possibility that nothing is wrong. 

CONVOLUTIONS

"I will bring the health of simplicity to my burdened soul and days."

~ Muriel Strode ~

Too much back and forth kills a deal.

Straightforward.

Simple.

Clear.

These are principles to guide our business dealings,

And our relationships,

And the convolutions of our mind. 

I keep my desire to complicate things in check. 

OVERGROWTH

"Don't water your weeds."

~ Proverb ~

Virginia is a warm and humid environment, and plants grow aggressively-

So much so, in fact, that there's an issue of OVER growth which

Requires great effort to keep in check.

Without any kind of pruning, it's a jungle in no time.

And it's a good reminder for us as well.

Rapid growth unchecked,

Growth for growth's sake,

Will overtake all the delicacy and subtlety of life as we enjoy it.

We must carefully prune and shape our new life learning,

Or it will smother us like vines. 

I take time to integrate the things I learn.

OVERWHELM

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot, hang on, and swing."

~  Leo Buscaglia ~

The definition of the word, "overwhelm" is 

To bury or drown beneath a huge mass, or

Defeat completely. 

We often use that word in today's vernacular which makes me wonder... 

Why are we drowning? Why so defeated?

Is it expectations we have of ourselves or others that can't be met?

Too much to do and too little time in which to do it? 

Is it a mindset? An attitude that can be shifted?

Or some kind of general malaise related to feelings of powerlessness?

I challenge us to consider the question,

And determine for ourselves if the state of overwhelm is a choice we somehow inadvertently make,

Or an absolute truth that is locked fast.

I give myself permission to stop and make adjustments if I can't breathe. 

MAKING ROOM

"Never think too much to act."

~ Arthur Guiterman ~

We spend a lot of time and invest precious energy

Trying to

Figure things out.

"I need to figure it out," we tell ourselves, and everyone around us...

"If I could just figure it out! 

Then everything would be ok."

But the joke's on us.

The solution doesn't come through figuring

It comes through dropping it, whatever "it" is,

And making room for spontaneous action

To arise and move,

Without any figuring at all.

I stop insisting on logic and let life move freely through me. 

FILTERING LIGHT

"And your very flesh shall be a great poem."

~ Walt Whitman ~

I've been observing lately how completely lovely

Light is when it's filtered through tree leaves:

Dapply. 

Luminescent.

Soft.

And 

Isn't it the same 

With the light

That filters through

Us?

I observe the physical details of ever-changing humanity with great love and delight. 

WOKING OUT

"It's all going to be ok in the end, and if it isn't ok, then it isn't the end."

~ Saying from The Exotic Marigold Hotel Movie ~

Things have a way of working out.

I don't know how exactly,

And sometimes it most definitely doesn't seem like they will,

But then,

They just

Do.

I trust the process.

CITY DOGS

"They are the role model for being alive."

~ Gilda Radner ~

I celebrate the dogs of the city!

Leashed, but not discouraged,

They are as authentic as any beings can be-

Completely adapted to their people and their routines:

Some of them speedy on short legs,

Some of them endlessly pulled this way and that,

Some of them checking on the faces of their owners,

And checking again, "We ok?"

And some of them- the ones I love the most-

Just cruising along, tails lifted and wagging...

Just happy, happy.

Maybe their walkers are serious and engaged in conversation with walking companions

Or distracted by phones.

These dogs don't care.

They are just delighted to be out and about,

And seeing them being so delighted brings great joy to the world.

I am grateful for the happiness of dogs!

ROCK A BYE

"I too have been a mourner."

~ Mary Ann H. Dodd Shutts ~

Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.

And sometimes, our response to this chaos can be surprisingly calm and clear.

We see the situation as if from a distance, and effectively do exactly what's required in the moment,

And then shed a few sobbing tears after the fact.

We feel self-congratulatory- over it- check the box complete.

But stack a handful of traumatic experiences one on top of the other

And the effect cannot be over and done with like closing a door.

Our bodies acknowledge what we've been through even if our hearts and minds

Can't.

Maybe not immediately, but eventually...

A creeping physical tension that won't depart,

A chronic discomfort,

An inexplicable pain.

Out traumas demand acknowledgement,

Forgiveness if necessary,

And grief.

When trauma cries, I rock it in my arms like a baby.

WE NEVER KNOW

"It's not the mountain we conquer but ourselves."

~ Edmund Hillary ~

We can generate more than enough self doubt all on our own.

We don't need well meaning others to point out where we may be lacking.

It feels so much better to be believed in,

And trusted,

And encouraged-

Even if our aim seems outrageous,

Even if we're less than perfectly qualified to do what we feel called to do. 

Until we put ourselves out there,

We never know how far we can go. 

I stand for encouragement as a force for good in the world. 

TAKING SMALL STEPS

"Maybe I think too much for my own good."

~ Paul Simon ~

We can think ourselves all the way into 

The achievement of that which we long for,

The art of possibility,

The dream.

And then we can think ourselves all the way out of it,

Backpedaling.

"I can do it," we think. "Yes!"

And then,

"Never mind- no I can't. Who am I kidding?"

Or... 

well... 

maybe...

And all the while, just by taking small steps,

Moving in the direction we want to go,

We are getting there.

It may not play out as anticipated, and I might find a new and unexpected direction as I make my way along the path, but action is the thing that moves me forward: action in spite of whatever my mind may think. 

CONSIDERATION

"Never rob your character to enrich your pocket."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

Let's have

The consideration

Of communication

And completion

In all of our relationships.

Without that,

Trust goes

Missing.

An inconsiderate lack in communication lacks in integrity as well. 

SEEKERS OF MEANING

"To be curious about that which is not one's concern while still in ignorance of oneself is absurd."

~ Plato ~

We are seekers of meaning.

We want to know, "Why?"

I remember when my children were mere toddlers

And they learned that magic question- 

The one that would make me keep on talking and talking.

'Why, Mommy?"

And I'd do my best to explain the answer.

"Why, Mommy?"

And on, and on, and on again.

We do the same thing in our minds., don't we?

We want to know why things happen the way they do, and what it all means,

But such wanting is exhausting,

And eventually we surrender to the simplicity of,

"I don't know."

And feel

Relief.

I don't have to always know why. 

WHO WE ARE

"Truth outlasts the sun."

~Emily Dickenson ~

Relative truth is the result of different perspectives-

Different "takes" on life happenings.

Absolute Truth, on the other hand,

Is always true-

No matter what true,

True for you, and True for me too.

Sounds intriguing, doesn't it?

What IS it?

That which lies before and beyond our conditioned selves,

The quiet, 

The witness,

What looks out from our eyes:

The source 

of 

Who we are. 

We may not know that we know, but we know anyway. 

FRESHNESS

"Outward, and outward, and forever outward."

~ Walt Whitman ~

When we have the courage to try something new for the first time,
And end up loving it,
The obvious next step is to go back and experience it again.
But the second time, we have expectations-
It has to meet the bar we have set from the first go round, 
And it can't, 

Because it will never be the "first time" experience again.
Now, it becomes a measuring up kind of thing. 

So... what to do?

Maybe keep trying new things.

If nothing else, it keeps life 

Fresh.

I am open to all that life has to offer!

WARM EVENINGS

"Right here. Right now."

~ Fatboy Slim ~

Warm evenings are completely delicious-

Soothing for the soul.

And actually, crisp fall days are delicious also-

And winter sunshine through a window.

It seems that life suits the spirit quite well,

And there is so much pleasure to be had by simply 

Experiencing the changing weather,

And the moving light,

And the day!

I am grateful to be alive. 

PLAY

"There's enough fun in the world for everybody to have some."

~ The Saturday Evening Post ~

Allowing ourselves to play is important medicine

For optimal well being.

And that means sober play- getting drunk comes with it's own kind of stress.

Play for play's sake- being silly,

Or creative- building something with no reason other than because we want to-

Laughing with people,

Dancing lightly or pounding our feet like Flamenco.

And not having time is a poor excuse.

Be playful for a minute or less here and there as you travel through life,

Or suffer the consequences

Of taking yourself too darn seriously.

I allow myself to be child like.

GOODBYES

"Every shut-eye ain't sleep and every good-bye ain't gone."

~ African American Proverb ~

Goodbyes come in varying degrees.

Some are sudden and unexpected.

Some are lingering and sad.

Some are sharp,

Some easy,

Some necessary,

And some absolute. 

But the one thing all goodbyes have in common is the gateway feature,

That opens to whatever comes next.

I understand that goodbye here is hello there and that all of life is a continuum.

A QUIET PRESENCE

"I exist as I AM."

~ Walt Whitman ~

Perhaps God is at much there when we are desperate

As when we are filled with joy:

A quiet presence,

Serenely present.

How though, in all people at every moment?

Perhaps, the secret is too simple to grasp.

Could it be that God is on the inside,

And not up there in the sky at all?

Understanding who I really am feels juicy, and delicious. 

NICE VS SMART

"Says the rude child: 'No, I won't do it.' Says the courteous grown-up: 'Yes, I won't do it.'"

~ Mignon McLaughlin ~

In an effort to be "nice"

We sometimes undermine our power

And compromise beyond what's necessary

Or smart.

It's intelligent and sound to set boundaries.

OUT OF NOWHERE

"Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced."

~ Andre Gide ~

Imaginative thinking can be playful, and fun,
As long as we don't let it hook us
By becoming too heavily invested in any specific idea
About the way we want things to turn out.
What makes life enjoyable is the way unexpected delights come
Out of nowhere,
And they can't come
If we are holding the reins on our thoughts and our energy
Too tight.

I stop wanting anything too specific, and open to surprises instead. 

BE SURE

 "If it 'aint broke, don't fix it."

~ American Saying ~

When companies make changes to their packaging,

I'm sure the idea behind the change seems like just the thing

In the corporate meeting room,

But at the receiving end, it can be jarring and disruptive.

More often than not, when a brand I like makes such a change,

I change too,

And pick a different brand. 

In the arena of change, casualties occur. 

PARADOXICAL LOOPS

"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Tao Te Ching ~

Are we grounded by the earth?

By water?

By eating a meal with complex carbohydrates?

By talking to a friend, getting a hug, or having a good cry?

By all of the above, or something other than the above?

In the same way that grounding is not one thing only,

Life is vast,

And even nothing is something. 

What makes the most sense often doesn't make any sense at all. 

CALM ABIDING

"It is only the long and patient road that leads to anywhere."

~ Muriel Strode ~

Calm abiding is a satisfying strategy for living.

'Standing back within ourselves and watching,

And looking to see,

Rather than charging forth with our words

and ideas,

Makes for easy interactions,

And interior quiet,

and 

Space. 

I am curious about life these days, more than intentional.

THIS

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."

~ RW Emerson ~

In a world with a tremendous variety of options,

It can be challenging to be decisive,

And seems much easier

Much of the time

To wish and wash and not take a stand for any one position.

We make allowances instead, and excuses.

We waffle this way and that...

We figure well... maybe... 

And wonder why we feel so ungrounded

And insecure.

Clear decision is freedom and relief.

Open the door to your cage

And decide.

I claim the power I have to say yes and no.

THE SONG THAT SINGS US

"Wake up, sleepyhead!"

~ Schooner Fare ~

Sometimes we are urged to "heal"

From the generic challenges of life

Which don't, in fact, harm us,

But actually grow us.

Instead.

Why all this stress on healing as if we are constantly breaking

And being damaged?

When, more often than not,

We are just being played 

Like a violin

By Life...

The changing notes of emotional experience make the music I dance to and share. 

ALL INCLUSIVE

"I am not the poet of goodness only."

~ Walt Whitman ~

The creative urge of life itself

Is as much a part of sadness

As of joy.

It has no limits.

No bounds.

It is all inclusive,

As much with the dying

As the being born,

And the sorrowful wail of grief

As the giggle.

All living experience is contained within the Creative Source.

LOVING LIFE

"Happiness followed me everywhere.. it was all within myself..."

~ Rousseau ~

I love to be inspired.

I love to see the underdog overcome hardship.

I love people being good to people.

I love divine artistic gifts.

And I love the endless wonders of Nature,

And compassion,

And movement in my muscles,

And a good night's sleep.

In spite of whatever the negative story in my head might be, life is good. 

THE POWER OF LANGUAGE

"Words are slippery and tricky creatures, whether they drop from the tip of the tongue or of the pen, and when used in important matters, cannot be too carefully watched or too strongly manacled."

~ Leila J. Robinson ~

The word "should" limits our lives.

It puts a collar around our throats,

And shuts down spontaneity and flow. 

In the past it's a waste.

In the future it's a ball and chain.

Why bother with it at all when there are so many 

Positive and life expanding 

Alternative possibilities?

I change the "shoulds" in my life to "coulds," and that changes everything. 

ATMOSPHERIC CHANGE

"Peace must be more than the absence of armed conflict. It must be just, creative, and cooperative."

~ Elizabeth Tipton Derieux ~

Making peace-

Coming to terms-

What do we mean by these?

That we stop fighting?

Or perhaps... that we start honoring what we have been opposed to,

And acknowledging it for the good,

For the growth,

For the lessons learned...

Peace is more than just not fighting,

It's a whole atmospheric change.

We become ok-

Truly OK,

With what we once couldn't tolerate,

Or accept,

Or trust.

I let go of opposition and fill with love. 

LIFE AT PLAY

"Not to spoil the ending, but it's going to be ok in the end."

~ Saying on a Mug ~

Sometimes we have a thought that occurs to us as a knowing

And it seems like our intuition.

We think, "Ah HA! I'm spot on!"

And it turns out that we're 

Not even close.

And sometimes our intuition does show up as a thought,

And we are meant to follow it,

Or to understand what it wants us to know.

How to tell the difference?

Life is playful. 

That's a knowing too.

Sometimes I know what I think I know, and sometimes I don't, and either way, it's ok.

SUBTLE ENERGIES

"You possess the ability to tap a bottomless well of physical and psychic energy..."

~ LV Carnie ~

Whether we honor and acknowledge them or not,

All kinds of subtle energies are at play in our lives...

They propel us,

They hold us back,

They bring confusion and clarity and hopelessness and great joy.

We are life itself

In the company of humanity

And God. 

I am a field of possibility.

CONONDRUM

"Let go, and let God."

~ Popular Saying ~

Truly trusting requires letting go of the reins,

No matter the situation.

And how many of us can do that?

Why is it so hard to let go?

Because we don't fundamentally trust.

And how do we learn to trust?

By letting go...

It's a conundrum like the chicken and the egg.

Which comes first?

I am WILLING to let go and trust.

THE BIG PICTURE

"If you do not raise your eyes you will think that you are the highest point."

~ Antonio Porchia ~

Sitting on the hillside and looking down at the gardens I created

Puts them in perspective.

They are tiny, de minimis... 

Nothing in the scope of the broader landscape.

And they have kept me awake at night worrying over them.

I am both more, and less, than is immediately apparent. 

SPRING

"The air is vivid with spring light."

~ Byron Caldwell ~

Spring is about renewal-

Things coming back...

But not the same as before:

NEW buds.

And there is friction in the arrival of this new growth-

A chick squeezing and stretching its little cramped body

To break open the shell and be born-

Bulbs pushing up through dirt,

And death comes too,

Beside the fresh life, and nourishes it-

Dead leaves,

Sprouts that cannot survive in the shadow of their 

Counterparts-

The END of frost and the cold.

As always, it's all mixed up,

And the cycle goes around.

The end is the beginning,

And the beginning is 

The end. 

I'm just here. 

SEEMINGLY BACKWARDS

"Surrender to win."

~ Popular Saying ~

We grab for the things we think we want fearfully, aggressively,

As if that's the only way to assure that we get them,

And the irony is, that until we stop grabbing,

The things that we want can't come.

I let go and receive.

LOVE AND SEASONS

"Perhaps you cannot make anyone's thankless task less difficult, but you can always make it less thankless."

~ Robert Brault ~

I am grateful for spring flowers,

For warm sun on a cool day,

And for Klondike bars.

I am grateful for the energy of people,

And their hearts.

I am grateful for the things I've learned,

The things I'm learning,

And the lessons to come. 

I am grateful for full moons and fog and rainbows.

Life is magnificent, and blessings abound. 

I notice the gifts of the earth.

NEVER STALE

"However we sail on the ocean of life our course is determined by Nature's trade-winds and Divinity's undertow."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

When we have a fulfilling experience

It seems to come naturally to want to repeat it,

And then,

When we try,

Generally there is a sense of letdown.

Having something be now what it was then is an impossible task.

The dynamic nature of life changes everything all the time.

PROMPTINGS

"Intuition, my trustworthy friend."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

Our internal prompts are not always clear-

And some of them may be nothing more than a random thought we snag onto...

But it does seem that sometimes, we are being asked to do something...

Called, maybe,

To do something.

But we can't know until we follow through,

And then see what happens.

That is the land of mystery

And grace. 

I am open to the suggestions of the still small voice within. 

LEAD IN OUR SOULS

"up with joy!"

~ ee cummings ~ 

We become so accustomed to the weight of our lives
That we don't even feel the heaviness after a time
And just go about our business
With lead in our souls...
Until someone, or something, or God
Relieves us, 
And we feel giddy
from the 
Sudden lightness
and
Joy!

I am relieved. 

A CURIOSITY

"I celebrate myself. 

And what I assume you shall assume. 

For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."

~ Walt Whitman ~

If we didn't know who we are,

Who would we be?

Take away our conditioning,

Our past,

The voices that have influenced and sometimes shaped us,

The hurts, the rewards,

The successes and failures,

Our friends-

What's left?

Is that all we are- a bundle of all that stuff?

Or is there something deeper, immutable, 

Timeless...

Something utterly unaffected one way or another

By the 

list above. 

What I've been through is something, but it's not everything. 

THE DREAM

 "Are you really sure that a floor can't also be a ceiling?"

~ M.C. Escher ~

Years ago, I worked as a Personal Trainer Monday through Friday.

I had lots of clients, I knew everyone, and

I felt like Queen of the gym.

It was a magical place, rich in relationships,

And dynamic with love.

And then I came to work on a Saturday

For my first book signing,

And I watched people coming and going

As I sat at my little table-

And I realized that it was 

Just a gym. 

I create the reality I experience. 

PUTTING THE BAG ON THE COUNTER

"If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it."

~ Toni Morrison ~

We have the power to drop our attachments,

Just like putting down a bag on the counter.

We think they own us,

That we are at their mercy,

That they have the power.

But they don't.

We do. 

I am attached to my attachments because I hold on to them. 

ALL TANGLED UP

"All emotion is involuntary when genuine."

~ Mark Twain ~

 A complied Facebook video shows the responses of children

To the surprise of being given a puppy,

And frequently,

The response is choking sobs.

Tears and happiness are all tangled up together.

Whether glad or sad, when emotion is deep, it touches our hearts

And rattles us like a thunderstorm with lightning and

Blustery wind. 

The gift is to be able to feel at all. 

OPEN SPACE

"What we're waiting for now is male rain. Big, booming, wait-till-your-father-gets-home cloudbursts that bully up from Mexico and threaten to rip the sky."

~ Barbara Kingsolver ~

Waiting for an answer is open space-
It could be a yes, or it could be a no,
And as long as we're waiting both possibilities remain...
Which creates tension-
What if imaginings... 
Fear...
Excitement...
And then all of that bubbling energy

Stops 

as soon as the answer 
Comes.
It shifts to the new energy
of 
Next step excitement 

or
Acceptance

that it's

Done.

I suffer from attachment to outcomes that may or may not play out.

THE SHAPE

"I will wear my heart upon my sleeve."

~ William Shakespeare ~

Feelings shape our experience.

When we feel guilty, we are shrunken.

When we feel anxious, we are strangled and voiceless.

When we feel afraid, we are 

Stopped.

When we feel light hearted, we are playful.

When we feel joyful, and happy, we laugh.

And when we feel safe, 

Safe,

Safe... 

It is then,

Finally, that

We are 

At ease.

I take the ride.

THE TWIST

 "Through a looking glass darkly..."

~ Swedish Film Title ~

Sometimes we think we see more clearly than we actually 

Do see.

Something seems apparent to us,

Obvious,

And then, 

In some twist of circumstance,

We realize

That we have been wrong all along,

Mistaken,

Perceived something amiss.

It happens frequently-

More frequently, perhaps,

Than we want to admit.

Being certain about something doesn't make me right. 

BEING SEEN

"All are but parts of one stupendous whole whose body Nature is and God the soul."

~ Alexander Pope ~

There may be things more powerful than connecting with other sentient beings

But I don't know what they are.

In community,

We are lifted,

Validated,

Awakened,

Seen.

I am not alone. 

THE HALLWAY

"When one door closes, another one opens, but it's hell in the hallway."

~ American Saying ~ 

I'm in the hallway-

Can't go back-

Don't want to go back-

But not clear where the new door is,

Disoriented,

Waiting for the light. 

It's ok to be still and to not know. 

ALL IN

"You can't be just a little bit pregnant."

~ American Idiom ~

In new territory, old fixes

Are questionably effective.

We can't be half-in and half-out,

Wanting to keep what we like from what has been

And open to only some of what's in front of us and 

unfamiliar.

It's not all or nothing with everything,

But it is here.

If we want a new life

We have to be ALL IN.

I let go and surrender. 

 

SOUL SHRINKER

"I am my own affirmative that transcends all negatives and denials,

The day renounces me- and I sink my roots deeper into the centuries."

~ Muriel Strode ~

In a deck of Oracle cards I used to use frequently, 

There is a card called "Soul Shrinker,"

And choosing it represents unhelpful, malicious, gossipy talk or thoughts

About ourselves or others.

I have been noticing recently how much that energy wants to play

In my life- around myself more than others- and my choices, 

And everything about who I am in the world.

As the card suggests, it shrinks my soul, and takes me down.

Worth being aware of?

Absolutely!

Worth bothering with beyond that? 

Worth believing?

Worth attaching to?

Absolutely not!

I don't have to believe everything I think.