Monday, July 18, 2011


    It's an interesting dynamic when we hold ourselves to a certain standard of behavior and then feel irritated when others do not hold themselves to the same. If we are particular about keeping our house clean, about being on time, about being reliable and doing what we say, about paying our way and paying our half, about eating the just-right foods and being disciplined about the health of our bodies, etc, it is entirely our problem if we feel that life is somehow unfair because others don't care about these things the way we do. How we live is our choice, after all, just as it is theirs to do things differently.
     Perhaps, hidden in our choosing, is a sense of obligation and "should" that we put back on ourselves. Maybe we feel that we have to do the right thing and feel burdened by it, but ultimately, if we're honest, we don't have to at all, even if it is the "right" thing.
     Being irritated with others for choosing the "wrong" thing is ridiculous. It changes nothing and makes us miserable. We all must behave the way our insides drive us to behave. If we truly don't care, then we don't, and if we care maybe too much, then that's the way it is. If we want to be comfortable and happy, we must learn to live and let live, to stop trying to control what other people do or don't do. We must learn to shrug and smile and say, "Oh, well. It might not work for me, but it seems to work for her, or him."
     We can recognize that some others have a different and distasteful-to-us approach to things and choose not to be around them, but to be around them and be constantly harping and poking and pushing and trying to get them to change the way they are is useless and angst producing on all sides.
     I accept others as they are, with all of their human-ness limitations, imperfections etc, and I accept myself the same way. Life is too short and too precious for any other approach.

If other people prioritize life differently than I do, and have different standards of conduct, that's ok with me. What I do is my choice, and what they do is theirs.