I used to rail against all of those who didn't behave in the way I thought they should... as parents and siblings and children; as teachers and bosses and doctors and politicians and friends. I have felt anger and injustice and a strong desire for righteous retribution. But none of my angst has ever changed anything in other people. It has only made me unhappy, and preoccupied me with darkness.
I realized eventually that people have varying levels of integrity and the ability to communicate, and varying levels of their own internal bitterness and hatred and feelings of victimization. Some people are fountains of love, and some are more like empty wells. And for most of my life, I have shown up at the empty wells wanting to have my cup filled, and walked away disappointed time and again. But I'm getting better about it. I'm starting to understand and be able to recognize who's who. I believe we all have the inherent potential for enlightenment and high-integrity living, but that we do not all have the capacity or the inclination.
I am learning to better accept people as they are, with all of their human-ness and limitations. I don't feel angry the way I once did, though it does continue to baffle me the way some people behave. But I realize now that these are the ones who teach me the most, and I can feel gratitude for them today instead of resentment. Their dysfunction can work to my advantage if I only look at it the right way.
I am grateful for the difficult people in my life. They teach me lessons that serve me well.
