THE COST OF SECRETS

     I used to keep secrets. I held onto stories from my past and facts about myself with great guardedness and fear. It was a security job I took seriously, because I was sure if people only knew the things I had done, and thought, it would be the end of all respect for me. I carried shame around like a bag of rocks.
     And then, by suggestion, and through courage, I shared everything about me- my whole life story- with someone I could trust. And I discovered that I was not so bad after all; not so different from others; and that everything in my past was entirely forgivable. It even turned out that in some way, my errors and mistaken judgments actually made me beautiful- imperfect and vulnerable and human... and beautiful. It was a relief to let go of my secrets, and to set free my internal slaves of shame.
     And now I can talk about everything in my life with almost anyone, because I realize things are only a big deal if I refuse to share them. Through sharing comes relatability, understanding, humor, and a right-sized image of who I am. And life is much simpler knowing that everyone's stash of secrets amounts to pretty much the same thing: we are human and we make mistakes.
     So let's disclose our secrets and laugh about our human-ness. Let's let go of the un-necessary shame that we carry around once and for all.

I relax knowing that it's ok to make mistakes, and I don't have to pretend to be perfect. Sharing my secrets brings me closer to others and lightens my load.