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Thursday, June 16, 2011

GIVING ADVICE

     We love to give unsolicited advice. We love to make suggestions about all the ways people can improve their lives, and then feel shunned and even resentful if our suggestions aren't implemented. We think we know what's best and what's needed. We like to point out fault and error and show off our smarts and vision. And we are sure, in doing this, that we do a great service to all those we encounter.     
     And yet, if someone gives us unsolicited advice, we are offended. We feel condescended to, not trusted to make our own way, and annoyed that anyone should be so nosy. When other people interfere with us, they should mind their own business, but when we interfere with others, we are being helpful. Or... maybe not.
     I think it's good practice to refrain from offering our opinion and pushing our helpful suggestions onto people and their life choices. If someone wants to know what I think or what I would do, chances are that she will ask me. Then I can share my point of view, but even then, once I share it, I have to leave it alone. What other people do with my thoughts and suggestions is none of my business. Truth be told, there is much in the world that is none of my business, and much that is less my business than I think. I can unintentionally perpetuate much harm under the guise of being helpful.

Unless I am asked directly to share my thoughts on the details of someone's life, I will stay out of it. It is none of my business unless I am asked to participate.